Open Thread - 01-06-23 - Family influence
*Given that tomorrow, January 7, 2023, is the 8th anniversary of caucus99percent, and we are 8 wondrous years of being together to say what is on our minds and in our hearts, we should stand, slow clap, give each other cyber hugs and salutes, and do remember that we are the 99%, because JtC says we are the people he wants to reach out to, and gives us this great place to express ourselves.
Clap. Clap. Clap.
JtC would appreciate your feedback on the anniversary, and what it means to you.*
Each of us who has associated with family has been particularly influenced by one of them, or even more than one.
My biggest influence was my Dad, but time constraints won't allow me to delve into that relationship. To do that remarkable man justice, it will take time to hit even the highlights.
So, Mom. A woman with a life of incredible achievements!
She, too, was influenced by family, especially the name. Seems her Dad had a college degree in Agriculture, was a professor at a Louisiana University, then worked for the the government, shifted to the oil patch, and because he had social status, he had some smallish money. He fathered 5 kids, the usual, and of all of them, Mom was the one with a birth defect. She lacked a pelvic bone and hip bone.
So, she went to Texas Children's Hospital. Lived there for a year or so. They did hideous things, such as putting her leg in some device, stretching it, to match the length of the normal leg. Anybody seen movies where people were drawn and quartered?
When she had gotten enough of the torture, she rolled herself out of the hospital, down the street, belly down on a gurney. Cops got her. Her parents got her home shortly afterwards.
She did get some strange surgery where a china plate was placed in her where a hip bone would be. One leg was 4 inches shorter than the other, and it had no muscle function to lift or step forward or backward. It was for a prop. It sort of swung along. No crutches needed, thank you very much.
After missing 2 years of school, she graduated high school at age 15. (She was gorgeous, said one of the most embarrassing moments of her life
was when her class was getting measured for their gowns. With "4'10" height, 18" waist, and 48" chest. The measuring guy announced that aloud.)
So, she went to Jr. College. She got her 2 year associate degree in 6 months. Next, she went to a renown business college in Houston. She finished that 2 year program in 6 weeks. It made the news in the business section of the local Houston newspapers.
Due to Grandpa being a supervisor in the oil fields of Baytown, Texas, and being the mentor of one of FDR's nephews, it was easy to get Mom considered for a job at Exxon. In short order, she worked her way up to the secretary for the chief executive in Baytown. And then, WWII.
Each day, an oil company limo would come and get her, drive her to the port. She would take pencil and paper, calculate how many barrels of oil could be loaded on ships headed to war. Nobody was around to check her math. I can't even imagine that happening then or now.
The war ended, and Mom was recruited to be an interpreter at the UN. She interpreted Spanish. She was fluent.
The stroll on the river walk, downtown San Antonio, mariachi bands, cold beer, handsome soldier, changed her mind about leaving Texas, and that was, of course, Dad. He milked cows right along side her, iirc.
She wound up being the high society woman who could wring a chicken's neck, get that bird on the dinner table, with all silverware properly placed. Yeah, she could milk a cow. And, she could write campaign speeches for state wide politicians, as long as they were FDR Democrats. She liked Benny Goodman, didn't like Hank Williams, but with my Dad, danced to both.
Yeah, she could prepare income taxes, go to audits, have the IRS auditors apologizing. Yeah, she could feed her family, but every neighbor in need, as well.
I remember that event well. The black woman maid across the street would occasionally come over to borrow milk or sugar for her boss. Mom stopped her from going to the back door, right off the bat. But it was Mom's training to serve coffee and a piece of pie to all visitors. The black woman was panicked, had never sat at a white person's table, eaten off a white person's plate.
I was there. Mom served her as an honored guest in our home. From then on.
Mom and I attended the black woman's funeral many years later. Jessie May. Her daughter talked to us about that event, and what her Mom had felt.
Mom's influence on me is without measure. I love, I defend, I respect, I give, I inquire, I draw a line in the sand, I do what I must do.
Because that's what my Mom would do.
So, does anyone have a family influencer besides me? If so, please drop in a story.
Better yet, say whatever is on your mind this morning.
Maybe what influenced you was the family of man.
Comments
A great story about your mom
sounds like a dynamo, must be partially where you get your energy
thanks for sharing!
question everything
Good morning, QMS!
Man, are you as glad that it is Friday as I am?
I am seeing such an escalation in family violence nowadays. And theft cases. Glad that was not in my home growing up.
Anything "new" happening in our great democracy that I have missed?
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
the only new thing would be that our democracy is great
like to inject a bit of levity in circumstances beyond our control
so, yeah. Trump is running for speaker of the house. true fact.
not sure if the dems will go along with it, but it might be fun to
watch the re-pugs melt down again
question everything
I think it would be hilarious
if Trump were voted in as Speaker! It really could happen!
I have listened to my Blue No Matter Who friends bitch about progressive who split the D party. Always, they say, "We need to stick together like Republicans always do!" I haven't heard from any of them lately. Lol!
I have said it before here, that I get to pick my friends, but am stuck with my family.
I had a couple of uncles that were crooks. A couple of cousins that were crooks. I despised both Grandmothers, was indifferent about my one living Grandfather. There influence on me was profound. I got to see and to know what I would never become.
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
Thanks for the story about your mom
Tough act to follow but sounds like you've done reasonably well in that regard.
Re: the fight over House speaker, it's refreshing to see some rebellion against the
establishment power structure. It's helped to expose some of the disfunctionality
there and given people like Cori Bush an opportunity to embarrass themselves.
ICYMI she claims that Byron Donalds - R-FL, one of the rebels, an excellent prospect for leadership positions - who happens to be black - is working to support white supremacy...
Trump as Speaker would be entertaining, but he doesn't really have the temperament for it.
I finally joined Twitter and have been floating Tulsi Gabbard for the job - she knows the procedures and where the bodies are buried. The place (and the country) would benefit from some Aloha kickass. My excellent idea has gained zero traction, though...
Check the fundraising mail screen caps below for some idea of the sliminess of the R establishment in general and Kevin McCarthy in particular. The mail (11/5/22) purports to be an appeal for support of of America First, Seal Team veteran candidates Derrick Van Orden and Eli Crane in draining the DC Swamp (both of them ultimately did win) but, clicking through to donate, those failing to check the fine print will not notice that the default distribution of the donation is 98% to Kevin McCarthy and 1% each to Van Orden and Crane...
Don't know if Chip Roy represents your part of Tejas - you could certainly do worse:
Your Twitter foray
for Tulsi sounds fun to me, irritating as all fuck to the Twit Universe.
That Tx US Rep is not in my district. I didn't disagree with what he said. I just have to admit here that I not only dislike Ted Cruz, but I know people who know him personally, and he is really odd, edging up on crazy. Hate that Roy is associated with him.
I received an email today from my county D party. They ranted about the Rs using the issue of illegals as a fundraiser, had no intention of solving the problem.
The letter went on to say Biden is going to the border. Takes the problem seriously. Wants to do something compassionate. Wants to discuss it.
Then, asks for a donation.
Sigh...
Mom used to come to the courtroom, sit through my jury trials. She enjoyed meeting my criminal guys and gals, always hoped for a not guilty verdict. She didn't trust cops, prosecutors, or judges, with good reason.
Have a great evening, Blue Republic. And thanks for adding interesting info to the chat.
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
Family violence
A man In Utah killed his wife, mom in law and his 5 kids and then he killed himself. Wife had just filed for divorce 2 weeks ago. He had been an upstanding neighbor and friendly to all until the day he did the deed.
My mom was emotionally absent my whole life, but I had my grandma, grandpa, and later my aunt that provided the love and acceptance mom couldn’t. As for the stepdad….let’s just say that I had the last word. I threw his ashes in the garbage and spent the day giggling how he was riding in the garbage truck all day and now he resides in the city dump. Now you might think that was horrible for me to do, but trust me he deserved it. I won’t bore you with stories about the things he did…it’s weird that this morning I started thinking of one incident and then smiled remembering where he is.
The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the dedicated communist, but people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists.
~Hannah Arendt
couldn't
have been a more fitting tribute to ol' step-Dad.
I have had 2 men hunting down their wives to kill them. One was also after me. He wound up burning down the house the divorce awarded to my client, then murdered a postal worker who was good friends with his wife. He set her car on fire with her body in it. He is in federal prison on death row. Our local post office was re-named after the murdered rural mail carrier.
I hid out for 3 days while the cops pursued him.
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
Good morning...
Sounds like your Mom was an inspiring person.
My family life was less inspiring. My Mom divorced when I was two. I never really knew my Dad. She taught school and in the summer worked in a clothing store. I went to nursery school, eventually elementary school, as well as summer camp for most of my childhood.
My Mom re-married when I was nine, and I never did get along with my step-father. However, between camp and my Mom's teaching I feel I was shaped to become an educator. My Mom's Mom, Nana, taught music ... piano and violin. Growing up in a play pen with her teaching made me a musician to my mind. She was devoted to me, but died when I was ten.
So can't say my childhood was great (but it was better than many). It did help shape the person I am.
Thanks to JtC for 8 great years (of which I've spent 7) here at C99, and thanks OTC for the OT!
“Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”
Maybe 60%
of my case load is in family law. Divorce, custody of children, adoptions, grand parental access, etc... Blended families rarely work well.
Step parents, step siblings...just often a nightmare of personality conflicts.
On rare occasions, a step parent is a real blessing.
No doubt about it, your Mom influenced your path to education, and your grandmother moved your soul and spirit toward music. You are a fortunate man!
Ever wonder what your life would be like if your Mom had been a bank loan officer? Or your Grandmother a secretary?
I know my Mom had me singing in public when I was 4 years old, and made sure I was on a stage speaking to audiences constantly.
Lots of attorneys stay in their office and push paper. They are too shy to speak in a court room.
Thanks, Mom.
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
Good morning otc. Your mom sounds like a truly
prodigious person. From what I can tell from here, her impact on you is pretty clear.
There is not a whit of Proust within me, so I'll just leave the past alone and leave my family out of it except to note that my elder brother was somewhat all the things that I was not and a good influence and I was the renegade who made everybody's life more difficult, including my own. That said, my dad left me with one catch phrase regarding choices not made and paths not taken - "no post mortems". Dunno what it meant to him, but to me, as an empiricist, it means that you cannot repeat the experiment so don't waste time trying to second guess the past.
So c99 is eight years old; what is that, third grade? 'Splains a lot ;-), heh. We in the Bay Area have a brief break between storms, cloudy and bleak today and rains resume tonight. At this altitude, no snow, so that is, imho, a perpetual benefit. I have some bread in process and errands to run depending upon which roads are passable.
Thanks for the OT, otc. Be well and have a good one
That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --
3rd grade and wondering
What kind of site will I be when I grow up?" Lol!
Speaking of brothers, whatever my brother did, I did the opposite. Except driving like maniacs in our muscle cars.
This holds true to this day.
I like that idea of no second guessing. I make snap decisions, and that's that. To me, why erode your self-confidence in questioning your decisions?
Ah, bread. I cheat. I use a bread machine, not that I ever have time to use it.
We had a lot of rain this week, and 2 fairly cold days. But being Texas, it shot back up to the mid-70s quickly.
Don't get stuck, friend!
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
We do sourdough and have a set routine. We each
have our own starters, largely as insurance, and take turns making bread. When we do so we make 2 loaves at a time and cut them in half because they're 2 pound loaves. We then freeze 3 or 4 depending on how much of the half loaf we're currently eating on is left. Stuff freezes really well and we're never out of bread. Only problem is that it really takes a long time to make it; first rise is 10 to 16 hrs, depending, then punch down, stretch and fold with at least a 15 minute rest, then proof in baskets for 2 hours or a bit more, then bake for 45 minutes in baker/cloche in oven. Even the baking is really 2 operations, 1/2 hour, covered, at 475 and then 15 minutes uncovered at 425. But, it's worth it, and I do that first looong rise overnight.
be well and have a good one
That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --
I have not ever attempted
that. For one thing, I was not taught or shown kneading. I have no "feel" for it. I would get it wrong, and that would be guaranteed.
In 1983, I flew out to San Francisco to spend a week with a friend. While he worked, I had use of his car, went exploring everywhere in the area.
When I flew home, I brought back 2 loaves of sour dough bread from a bakery. One for me, one for Mom. We just sat at the kitchen table with some butter, ate until there were no crumbs left. We both declared we would never, ever be able to top that, and we never tried.
We are getting rain today, tonight, and a good possibility of rain tomorrow and Monday. Glad I had no plans to go anywhere or do anything!
Take care of you and that bread, friend! May there be no shortages of wheat in our future!
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
No kidding!
We buy flour in 50lb bags from our local Restaurant Depot- my old consulting business license was generic enough that I could get a trade membership and buy wholesale. We just shifted from Ardent Mills Minnesota Girl to King Arthur Sir Galahad, and are loving the difference. We have two starters these days as well- Eric Lindros gets fed rye four, and Bertha d’Blues gets fed our white flour. With Bertha we make bread, and with Eric we typically make bagels. Totally different results- it is cool to play with hydration levels and fermentation times.
We decided to turn Bertha loose on some bagels with that KA flour, and they came out *amazingly* well, so the times they may be a-changin. Bagels are easy, kneading-wise, because it all happens in the mixer- there is little handwork, because you *don’t* want the glutens to develop as strongly as you do for bread. Mix ‘em, ferment overnight, ball them up into bagel-weight portions, rest them to ferment a little longer, poke the holes in the middle with your fingers, boil them in an alkaline bath (we use baking soda and maple syrup, not lye), bake ‘em, and then nosh. To die for…
BTW, a 50lb bag fits perfectly in 2 Cambro 22-qt food service containers, and the snap-on lids are perfect to preserve the stuff. Home wine or beer kit fermenters work great as well. There are some really good videos on YouTube describing the folding techniques for gluten production, so don’t let that stop you… Enjoy!
Twice bitten, permanently shy.
When I read that,
I ran through the house, admitted to my husband I don't even know the effing TERMS, essential INGREDIENTS, the elaborate PROCESS, are for making bread, and if he truly loves me, he will figure it all out!
Then, he reminded me, he rarely eats bread, so the loss is mine, since I do occasionally eat bread. (He laughed at me, btw.)
I am fascinated by your finding that different flour is noticeable. Wow.
I will say, my Mom refused to teach me anything about cooking. It was her way to pushing me towards some sophisticated life where I would either hire a cook, or be able to constantly eat out. I am not kidding when I say that the first time I turned on a stove and attempted to cook something, I was 21, in grad school. It was a disaster, as you can imagine.
Over decades, given some chef friends, I learned enough to cook for a crowd. The last meal my Mom ate was a beef vegetable soup I made, took to her. I watched her scarf it up and smile.
My Dad also ate a meal I cooked for him. Later that night, he fell, hit his head, and weeks later, died from it. The last meal he ate outside a hospital setting was the one I prepared for him. He loved it, licked the platter clean.
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
It turns out
that the flour makes an enormous difference in flavor, as well as the tenderness (or chewyness) of the crumb (the soft middle part) and the softness (or crunchiness) of the crust. The rise of the sourdough is all about fermentation- there is no added yeast or baking powder to make the bread rise. Then, you get the fineness of the grind (finer ground flour makes a softer crumb), how much protein is in the flour, how much water you use (degree of hydration), how much you handle the dough (more handling/stretching/folding means more gluten development), how much steam you use while baking (if any), and on and on.
It is the ultimate video game- easy to learn, impossible to master, and you get to eat the result.
Anyway, we’re still recovering from the fire. Our 7-year-old starter Eyegor didn’t survive, so we started over from scratch. It is a cool hobby for us, but EL can certainly tell you vastly more than I know about sourdough. It is a labor of love.
Meanwhile, I’m trying out doing croissants with that Galahad flour. A flour that can do both a good chewy bagel and a light, laminated croissant is a true treasure.
Twice bitten, permanently shy.
I will say,
kill me now! Lol! Talk about being behind the curve!
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
If you like King Arthur’s Sir Galahad,
you might like Sir Lancelot even better. It is a bit higher in protein, has wonderful elasticity and chew, and gives a fantastic crust in a steamed injected hot oven or covered cast iron pot. It’s been my go-to flour for most of my 25 years baking sourdough at home.
Its King Arthur’s bagel and pizza flour and can also be had in 50# bags at a fraction of the cost of 5# bags on grocery store shelves. It’s not often easy to come by. It’s a 450 mile round trip for me to the nearest KA retail outlet in VT, but worth the trip, which I usually combine with visits with friends and family along the way. I have found that in cool/dry storage it will keep for a year or more, so I usually pick up 100#, and once brought home 150# which was all good to the end (appx. 15 mos.). Daily bread, Amen.
I’ve worked up a no wasted flour recipe for family and friends thats works well for a 1- 1-1/2 week baking style and now have a starter that tolerates regular intervals of refrigerated dormancy and does not require frequent feeding or disposal of excess starter. After a while, any live sourdough starter will adapt to the particular baking rhythm and native bacterial assortment of the baker(s) who use it. Starter is not immutable, it is an ongoing and dynamic colony of microbes and the flour they eat that will adapt to your particular needs and habits. It will eventually become your unique and personal starter.
“ …and when we destroy nature, we diminish our capacity to sense the divine,and understand who God is, and what our own potential is and duties are as human beings.- RFK jr. 8/26/2024
Thee is no such thing as excess starter. One example-
preheat toaster oven to 400-425, heat a small cast iron skillet over a burner, mix 1/4 to 1/3 cup old starter with one egg, toss a pat of butter in skillet and once it melts dump in the starter, it should somewhat quickly rise well above the pan at which point you throw it in the toaster oven for about 10 minutes. Dump on a plate or eat from pan, with butter, syrup, applesauce, pick-a-peppah hot sauce, or whatever.
be well and have a good one
That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --
If we have “discard”,
we usually make blueberry muffins. At this point, we essentially never have discard, by tuning our process as well. But those muffins *kill*. We kinda make a semi-levan with whole wheat and warm water and the starter, let it wake up and fizz up for an hour or two, and then go from there without the big overnight bulk ferment. Crackers, muffins, biscuits, soft pretzels, breadsticks for dipping- there is no such thing as discard….
Sir Lancelot is cool stuff, but 14% protein leads to some serious chew in the product- so we’re staying with 12.7%, and occasionally add some vital wheat gluten if we want to up the strength. Dial-a-protein is useful, sometimes. We don’t really do pastries, so we don’t use much sub-12% flour.
EL, that recipe sounds like a sourdough Dutch Baby, and I gotta try it! That sounds like it’d be awesome with maple syrup and blueberries…
Twice bitten, permanently shy.
Faking sanity
Both of my parents were WWII refugees. Both of them could fake some semblance of sanity. One strange aspect of growing up was there were no grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc. The best I can say is that of all the males in my family, I never went to jail. (Cops did not particularly like immigrants.)
Cops still have a hard on for immigrants.
I hope you have had an opportunity to travel to your parent's original homeland to meet your family. You might be lucky, unlike myself, and discover some of them are actually nice people.
Have a great day, greater evening!
You have a very unique life story, complete with no rap sheet!
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
Family is not a pleasant subject here
Already buried most of the close ones.
Grand folks raised us more than real folks.
Mom was an artist, Dad a judge.
A close aunt just passed.
Most cousins distant.
Two brothers left in FL.
Mostly weird.
Learned on my own, travelled heavily to sort
out a future. Experienced a lot. Got me here.
Losing the family farm to the wicked step-mother
was probably the worst. Then my best friend.
A skeletal framework remains.
As eyo says, keep on trucking.
question everything
@QMS Grand Forks nice place
Grand Forks
nice place to freeze your car doors shut. spent a very formative 3rd grade year at an Open Community School while my mother organized some important things for the community as a VISTA volunteer. fond memories.
hahahah its almost funny how lousy my vision is
Grand folks....
can definitely relate to the frozen doors
the formative grade 3 experience was when JFK was murdered
stated to my teacher "will need a new election soon"
she just rolled her eyes
always liked that teacher
question everything
VISTA!
Just a big WOW!
I remember college pals spending their summers volunteering with VISTA. None of them mentioned frozen shut car doors.
And Third Grade is sort of a recurring them in this thread.
This also ties in with travel, since it appears you and your Mom were in Grand Forks for a project. Travel is an eye opener.
Thanks for adding to the chat we have going, pal.
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
Travel teaches. Period.
You just constantly get exposed to new things when traveling. It can shape your life.
I recall you mentioning the recent passing of your aunt. I am sorry that still smarts, friend. I liked the aunt that was my namesake, but the other two were just horrible people. Luckily, all cousins are both physically and emotionally distant. I have nothing in common with any of them.
Where did you catch the sailing bug? Does the bug run in your family as well?
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
wasn't a bug, but an escape
lost family and direction
guess it found me
question everything
The way I see it,
your family situation did give you your path and your love: the sea.
One of my uncle crooks lived near the Gulf of Mexico. Baytown, Texas area.
He was the mayor for a while. Testified before Congress about the difficulties of local shrimpers being completely swamped by Vietnamese shrimpers. The result was to federally regulate and codify netting.
Then, he started selling boats with customized motors. The orders always said, "Build me a boat motor that goes faster than the US Coast Guard." He tended to meet the buyers in a parking lot near a bank. He would receive a suitcase full of cash, hustle to the bank to deposit it before he was robbed or killed.
Well, my parents and I were unimpressed by his fabulous business venture. I don't think we spoke to him again after that visit.
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
yeah, well maybe
experiencing a different cultural life
on the bayous, western Indian reservations
and small towns thru-out the heartlands did
give me a different perspective that university
lacked.
thanks for posting!
fun stuff
question everything
The difference in Bayou
country and the Wild West is like being in two different countries. No university can teach the why of it like living there for a while. No matter the impetus for your roaming, you learned and earned your PhD. by living the life.
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
ok, if PhD means
pharmaceutically hindered development
then it makes some sense
cajuns and mountaineers have little in common
that's true in social terms
people are strange everywhere in varying degrees
still trying to figure it all out
thanks for celebrating eight with us!
question everything
It has been a wild ride, these 8 years!
Your PhD sounds just right. When I started my campaign to see as much of the world as I could, I lost interest in the US. From the pure standpoint of history, we have very little.
And most all important historical aspects involve war, even genocide.
Since COVID, I am staying home. I am revisiting places I haven't seen in decades. I am renewing my interest in what shaped the cultures and societies in different regions of the US.
I think Texans sort of dismiss Cajun and Creole country as sort of undeveloped. Well, given their racial mixture, food and water availability, their music, their cuisine, is an amazing result of sustainment and development, and a culture like no other.
I feel the same way about how the land and essential resources determined the culture of The Wild West. Seeing 150 year old wagon wheel tracks in the middle of nowhere in Montana got me and Mom out of the car to take pictures. The expanse! The distance! The constant dangers! The ones that stayed out west, in Montana, Wyoming, Oregon...I could go on.
We topped a hill on an interstate in Wyoming, came upon a large herd of cattle being driven by some cowboys. We lowered the windows, chatted with them as we eased our way through the herd, dodging crazy calves...Mom said something to the effect that we would have loved living there. He it is her family that came to Texas from the Baton Rouge area!
I think you were obviously an excellent student, Q.
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
I almost hate to talk
about my family experience, because I practically grew up in a Norman Rockwell family. My parents worked very hard to make sure that my older sister and I had everything that we needed, and presented a united front to us to a fault. If they had marital issues, we never knew about it while growing up. They apparently thought about divorcing once after I'd gone off to college, when my mom was having medical problems that made her extremely difficult to live with, but that came to nothing and they made it 54 years of marriage before my mom passed.
We weren't wealthy. We ran a family printing business, and my dad was also the chief of our tiny rural town's volunteer fire department- a job he inherited from my maternal grandfather (paternal grandfather contributed only my last name, and then disappeared). When the town grew large enough to take the department professional, Dad become the first paid fulltime fire chief, and left the print shop to the rest of us in the family. I had petitioned to get on the department at 14, and worked with him as a ladderman/nozzleman right up until I left for college- which makes me the youngest retired firefighter in my home state's history. We got our EMT certifications together, back in the very first wave of EMTs (1974 for our state).
He and I had many *tight* bonding experiences, and we each hauled the other to the ER a number of times from fire scenes after this and that- always swearing to one another that Mom could never know about it. To the best of my knowledge, she never did find out about most of them.
Well educated by tiny town standards, ex-all-state and college football player (my glass knees are carbon copies of his), SF fan, jazz trombone player (Mom was a pianist), cartoonist/caricaturist, humorist, career Objectivist, late life atheist (arrived at the hard way, after both he and Mom had been long-time deacons in the local Presbyterian church, but were jettisoned before I was born in the wake of one of the periodic pogroms that small-town churches do). A gentle giant of a man, I only saw him actively angry one time in my life, when he picked a soon-to-be ex-customer up by the seat of the pants and the scruff of the neck and pitched him bodily out of the printshop into the middle of the street. He and Mom were 6-pack-a-day chainsmokers (as were all 3 grandparents that I knew), which was largely the reason for their earlier-than necessary departures from this life- but certainly led me to never under any circumstances smoke *anything*.
He's been gone for decades. Mom was a wonder as well, but Dad truly made me who I am. I miss the shit out of him, and can only hope to someday approximate his innate decency, and his utter unflappability.
Twice bitten, permanently shy.
What a childhood!
I consider all fire fighters bad asses. You and your Dad took many risks to help others.
The kick out of church thing sort of happened with my dance lessons. I was told by the Sunday School teacher when I was 11 that I had to stop ballet lessons or wouldn't be allowed in church. The whole family stopped going. Mom and I, the questioners, weren't seriously into religion. Dad and my brother were a bit more devout. After the dance issue, religion was no longer a thing in our family.
Sounds as though your Dad was very protective of your Mom. Maybe their refusal to argue in front of you left the real world of relationship a pretty damn big surprise to you.
I really do thank you for giving us the picture of your folks. They did a damn fine job raising you!
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
What a nice thing
to say! That's very kind of you. Yes, I think they did a really good job. And that's one of the reasons I decided that I would never have kids, at about the age of 9: I refused to do anything poorly, and I knew that I could never raise a child as well as they had raised us. No way. And fucking up raising a child is *beyond the pale*, to my way of thinking, so I knew that I could never go there.
My wife had the opposite experience, with parents at war all the time (physically and mentally), and divorced while she was still in her formative years. She came out beautifully as well, but knew she never wanted kids because she wouldn't put them through what she went through. We arrived at the same conclusion for diametrically opposed reasons... We didn't meet until I was well past 30 (my mother went to her grave still thinking that I had to be gay), and we are into our 30mumble anniversaries now.
But yeah: I was not prepared for relationships, especially with brittle East Coast people (I'm from the South, but went to college and had my early professional career in the Boston area, where my wife is from). So it took a *long* time to understand that people just blow up. Often. Just for shits and grins. And it usually means little to them, like the drama from a Seinfeld episode. "A tempest in a teapot; full of sound and fury, but signifying nothing". Gratuitous Sturm und Drang.
To me, that represents cosmic upheaval: I was raised, by tacit example, to believe that you should spend your anger like you spend your retirement savings. Ah, well, you live and learn. Fucked that one up too.
My Dad never raised a hand to me. I knew better than to gratuitously piss off someone who you can't piss off. Me, I have a temper, but I saw what he could do when really riled that one time, and kept it in check.
There was also no reason to rebel against someone who taught me so many things that we shared and loved, as much as you can love an activity like firefighting. Wouldn't have exchanged that brotherhood for all the tea in China.
But our shared fire service experience also led to some amusing interactions in the printshop at times. I'd be running one of the offset presses, and he'd wander by proofreading whatever he was working on, whip out his lighter, and set the sleeve of my shirt on fire. Just a little, mind you, just enough to be stinky and surprising. I'd put it out with a splash of water from the plate fountain (water being a necessary ingredient in the offset process), and then we'd laugh about it. *Customers* would freak right out (as would Mom, come to think about it), but it was just normal play to us... Take that, Seinfeld!
Good times.
Twice bitten, permanently shy.
He was just keeping you on your toes
and paying full attention to your shirt sleeves is a VERY GOOD LESSON.
Not everyone wants kids. Not everyone is geared toward marriage, either.
I couldn't have kids, and because I knew that so early on, I just mentally shut down that desire or that drive to raise kids.
I started thinking about what kids are. They are a parental legacy. They keep the name going. I was never sure I would have or do something to pass down generationally. I also consider that some ego thing. Mine isn't all that big.
It is a different world to be parented as a child, and to be a co-worker and "equal."
You always had each other's back. Great loyalty, great camaraderie.
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
dads can be great
glad yours was
moms are amazing
siblings a learning experience
question everything
You say JtC wants a feed-back ?
I think that's a pretext, on the Cusp. Be honest, nosy questions are made for a reason /s (I am joking, sister lawyer, I wished I had a German lawyer of your caliber at my side way back in time). No offense meant)
I really should believe that JtC wants us to share our private family disasters, privatw family happy hours and everything that is private in between. But you were the only one, who dared to ask us this question, and for that I applaud you, OtC, I mean trying to understand us and our private family shitty and heroic stuff, on the Cusp, takes some courage and nerves. I had a lot of stuff in that regards to tell you, but ... it is private.
This place is for me a true rescue plank, I come here to understand those, who comment here, and to understand world political and backyard affairs. I come here to understand how Americans tick, think and sing and I love their music they make themeselves and share.
And to say it simply, to JtC, this site helps a lot to cope with lots of shitty things in our world. affairs (and here my greatest thanks go to Joe shikspack and Lookout) and many loving comments to console our wounded souls are healing a lot. Thank you, JtC for giving all of us a voice, not matter what dummy things come out of my mouth. Your patience is just ... almost endless.
Actually I like to read here, because I want to get away from my wider country and family influences. More I will not share. Sorry. You can't choose your family and your place of birth, but can choose what you read and what you write.
I have chosen. For a good reason. It is just the best blog. Basta. (as I don't read other blogs, I guess I could be wildly wrong, but me I listen to my guts and they say, it is the best news oriented place tto consume aside from apple pie and ice cream.
And I love to read here. Thank you. and btw. JtC, after we were allowed to read your own writing -in the beginning you were just a silent mystery man soemwhere and no writer at all for all of - what a mistake that was - from your side to do)
Btw. I share one thing. My father and mother stuck together their whole life as of age 16. I just started a couple of years ago to understand the strength and wisdom my mother had in her. They took fidelity and honesty serious. I think that is hard work, but both did what each of them felt was right.
And I say that family influences are tremendously dangerous at times. They hate as much as they love and that for their whole life.
Sigh, can we talk politics now ?
https://www.euronews.com/live
I have no indication JtC wants the secret of our souls,
and I, as an attorney, get them daily. I know where the bodies are buried.
Any time anybody wants to talk politics, this is truly the best place EVAH to do so. Anybody can have any political opinion for any reason and it is just fine to say so, if that is what you want to do.
I am surprised politics of our families didn't get injected into this comment thread. I left the door wide open when I disclosed my family's relationship to the Roosevelts. The first vote Mom cast was for FDR, and she was a solid Democrat until she died, as was my Dad.
You need not give away a single family secret.
The whole topic was about maybe giving yourself some thought about family and it's influence on you that you haven't particularly thought about much.
It can be argued that the very best thing the United States of America ofered the world was music!
So glad you love the ebs. You have to believe joe devotes tons of time for all of us.
I suggest that tomorrow you grab some German wine or German beer, toast caucus99percent!
Your parents sound wonderful.
Thanks for dropping by, friend.
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
Dear OtC, I overreacted and misunderstood you very
much, and I want to apologize for my comment. I was under a lot of stress as I just have lost the only sibling, my brother, I loved, and had to cope with reactions from other family members to his death which I found so horrible I just couldn't be calm and cope.
In any case I could offer you huge bag of negative family influences. But I really try hard to forget them and get away from them. Being here and reading here helps me a lot to do that.
Peace and love. A lot of both.
And apologies.
https://www.euronews.com/live
No apology is necessary, no offense taken.
I am sorry my OT dropped in at such a time of family loss to you.
May your beloved brother rest in peace, and may you keep him alive in your heart.
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
Thank you for your kind words,
his death is a huge loss to me. Now me and also my son over in HI have no family member left whatsoever.
I am glad to have child. I hope we will live together one day. We deserve it.
Conclusion: Do not live with one buttock side on one continent and with the other buttock side on another continent. It's not fun, at least not in my feelings.
Sigh.
https://www.euronews.com/live
Some how,
some way, you nd your son need to be together to the extent you are in the same country, at the very least.
I may love Hawaii, but living there would be ridiculously expensive. Tons of states, tons of countries offer more for less.
I hope you two can come up with a workable, affordable plan!
Family increases in importance with advancing age.
Best of luck.
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
Actually, here in Germany close to Hamburg,
it is as or more expensive, but to feel the injustice between rich and poor is just horrible be live with in Hawaii. I have no personal interest in HI. Nature in HI still is somewhat beautiful and very much was only 6 ot 8 years ago. Now it is being destroyed pretty much. It is the nature and the climate, which seduced my son to flee to that island. After cold weather in Korea's DMZ zone and Iraks sandstorms in war time, I don't blame him to find HI 'the better choice'
https://www.euronews.com/live
It’s not the family your born into that defines who you are,
so much as what you make of what you’re given to work with. Life is about learning and asking difficult (impossible?) questions.
My early life family left me the last man person standing when my dad died in ‘93. Mom died first in ‘57. Got a ‘new’ blended family in ‘61, three plus three kids and two grieving parents. The TV show “The Brady Bunch” was pure bunkum. When OTC said blended family’s are tough, she’s got that right.
Now, about this point, anyone who’s got this far is probably about to give up on me and my self pity yarn. Wrong. (Spoiler alert coming). I learned how to make lemonade, a personal recipe, non transferable and inscrutable. One of the basic ingredient was stubborn determination, another dumb luck thrown in with a
dashbucket full of good luck, hard work and, most of all, a gift from my mother on the night she died, that defies explanation.Thanks Mom, for everything!
“ …and when we destroy nature, we diminish our capacity to sense the divine,and understand who God is, and what our own potential is and duties are as human beings.- RFK jr. 8/26/2024
Another great family story and perspective!
Thanks so much for that!
This is so ironic. Today, 16 hours after I wrote the OT, I took in 2 new divorce cases. The problem? Grown kids from prior marriages. Like, the people get along, then a kid from the prior marriages comes into the picture. A parent will more than likely go against a current spouse in favor of a kid that has no relationship with the current spouse. Blood is thicker than water.
It isn't the family, or family ties that is the influence, as you say. It is a unit in which you live in youth, inhabited by friendlies, unfriendlies, the ideas you hear, the actions you see. It is inside the walls and under the roof where you eat, sleep, bathe, and hear. Even overhear. It is an inescapable place for a child.
Thanks for adding your experience, and your Mom sounds like she gave you an extraordinary gift.
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
My stepmom deserves an acknowledgment too.
My Mom was with me for nine years, my Stepmom had my back for all of 56 years. I had a very hard time calling her “Mom” early in her tour of duty, but I eventually did. She gained my trust, and eventually my unconditional love by her unconditional love. My surviving step sibs and I said goodby to her at her bedside in 2017. As difficult as blended families can be, sometimes they can work out just fine in the end. I am grateful for all of my life experiences.
Ironic, the timing and content of your essay today, on the eve of the completion of C99’s 8th lap around the Sun, with both my, and C99’s next lap beginning tomorrow.
Thank you so much for the care and effort you put in to share your story. Inspirational!
“ …and when we destroy nature, we diminish our capacity to sense the divine,and understand who God is, and what our own potential is and duties are as human beings.- RFK jr. 8/26/2024
That closeness between you and your step Mom
melts my heart. RARE is an understatement!
You both get my bow to your greatness, and to the greatness of love.
I made a 12 yr foray into step mom-dome. Back in the late 80s, early 90s. My husband had divorced the child's Mom. Seems she came around to either get info to report to her Mom on our income status, or start begging her Dad to write a will that gave her everything he had. He died in '98, and it got so bad, with her bringing in a will for him to sign in his hospital bed, he called, asked me to be the one who got the hospital to ban her.
He told me she embarrassed him. It was not what he needed at that critical time.
So glad you shared that One Good Thing with us today. We need a reminder good things have happened andcan happen in this world.
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
happiest b'day to you ovals
hope you are still biking out on the cape!
question everything
Parted out my Road Gentleman and Waterford
and built up a classy step-through frame upright cruiser for my dotage, and am thankful that I can still enjoy time in the saddle and have such a bike friendly environment around me. Thank you for your b’day good wishes. If WEF recommended max age limits prevail then I’ve only a couple more laps left. Ha!
Let me know when you’re out my way again. I haven’t traded in my wheels for a Lark scooter, yet!
“ …and when we destroy nature, we diminish our capacity to sense the divine,and understand who God is, and what our own potential is and duties are as human beings.- RFK jr. 8/26/2024
Hi ovals
I agree that it is not the family that we were born into that defines us, but is still a significant influence in defining who we are. I believe as I understand you, that ultimately and intimately we are who we make of our given family, true nature, and experience.
How wonderful for you to have been there with your mother at the time of her death to receive the indescribable yet life affirming gift she left you.
Actually,
I was not with her in the hospital where she died…..I was asleep at home, sleeping on the top bunk above my brother. Therein lies the mystery and wonder of her gift.
“ …and when we destroy nature, we diminish our capacity to sense the divine,and understand who God is, and what our own potential is and duties are as human beings.- RFK jr. 8/26/2024
Happily though,
it seems you were still clearly together in spirit.
My Mom
really aspired to be a homemaker - and was good at it - but got into it after a considerable record of pretty independent life for someone of her generation.
Her parents had grown up on adjoining homesteads in E. South Dakota (think Little House on the Prairie) - her father did well enough in various businesses (although he much preferred farming and ranching) to send their three kids to college.
The older two graduated but my mother, studying to be a dietician, had to quit after three years due to the Depression. Faced with moving back to the farm or doing something else, she got on a bus for LA. Said she didn't know how to operate a pay phone when she got there - had never seen one.
Worked in a factory initially but didn't care for it and became a domestic for a wealthy Hollywood-connected Jewish family whom she always spoke well of . Never got a lot of details about her social life there but she had an amazing collection of matchbooks from various LA ballrooms, nightclubs and such - which she gave to me and which I subsequently lost (insert Homer Simpson faceplant) in the course of a move.
Subsequently, worked at dude ranches and resorts in the Southwest and ultimately met my dad in Alaska - she working on the Alaskan Railway and him in the Air Force (this during the Korean War)...
Didn't call those people Greatest Generation for nothing...
Holy shit!
If a young, wet behind the ears country gal did that in today's world, she would be in porn movies post haste!
My mom, also a Depression era kid, born in 1920, did this, did that, but when she married, she promptly went into homemaker mode, as though it was a relief. She did tax preparation when my brother and I were in high school and college, but she worked from home, and we all pitched in to do the cooking and cleaning while she pumped out returns for her clients. I will say, we had some odd meals.
Dammit, lost the matchboxes! Dammit!
But you remember her, her story, and it is really something to relish. Thanks so much for sharing it with us.
Their generation is without peer.
You and I are lucky to have borne witness.
Appreciate this more than I can say.
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
A Mom favorite song
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
That was fun to listen and shake to
I'm not sure what my mom's favourite was before I was born, but what has always stuck as her favourite was any Harry Belafonte song.
[video:https://youtu.be/DYYkJ0kwNss]
...
[video:https://youtu.be/7TVWqykzibc]
Both my parents LOVED THAT SONG
as do I!
How she could dance with her fairly useless and dysfunctional leg is and was always beyond me. But when she and Dad stepped onto the dance floor, most everyone else stepped back to watch the performance.
They both had musical traits. Both sang. Dad could play the steel guitar.
So, the Baptist Church didn't like my dancing, or my parental support. Then, Dad built a huge room at the rear of our house for me to practice, complete with a ballet bar. Then, when parents decided to throw a party for the neighborhood kids for birthdays, or holidays, that room became the dance room. Who attended? Baptist kids!
I coached football players throughout my high school years on ballet stretches, such as plie's, and certain jumps, with the football coach's approval. In my brother's senior year, our little town of maybe 500 people won the state football championship in our class.
That coach attended my mom's funeral.
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
Same with my parents on the dance floor
It was generally to Latin rhythms - cha-cha, rhumba ], etc. It was almost embarrassing ; ).
I got a kick out of my parents
outshining the competition.
Latin, samba, mambo, was not a thing here, but I guarantee if it was, they would shine.
I am glad your parents were a positive influence, embarrassing you on some occasions! Lol!
Hope you are doing great in beautiful New Zealand, the country all TPTB seem to run to when shit hits the fan.
You are there, no running necessary!
Thanks for your addition to the chat, chica, and as always, I wish you the best.
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
Thank you otc
I just wish everyone I love was also here.
so sorry you couldn't be with your mom
when she passed away
remember the frustration of you trying to
travel back to FLA during the 'rona lockdowns
sad days indeed, most peculiar momma
what we are left with are memories
question everything
Thank you QMS
for your understanding and sensitivity.
I am comforted by the fact that for the last 10 years of my mom's life I was able to spend quality time with her.
loved that scene in Beetlejuice
thanks for sharing!
question everything
remember dancing with my buddy's mom
on this one
didn't know how to dance
but had fun faking it!
question everything
I see happy people
fake dancing all the time! I say, why the hell not?
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
My mother was raised in Brooklyn
...in a neighborhood that used to be prosperous and had a dated Victorian atmosphere. I visited her mother's home at a very young age. Her mom, a math teacher, was a single parent who raised her four daughters alone. My mom was the youngest. I was fascinated that the home, had three stories, and a huge wrap around porch. But it was within the five boroughs, and had seen better days. There was a light layer of grime over the exterior and the neighborhood generally. There was a beautiful harp and a grand piano in the living room. My mom had apparently taken piano lessons at some point. Roxy was the live in maid, who practically raised her while her mother was at work teaching. I think my mom sometimes futilely tried to maintain the accoutrements of such an upbringing, against my father's objections, but it really wasn't possible.
At home, she raised five children, and studied to became a librarian. Many of the books and magazines she read definitely had an influence on me. She liked Gore Vidal, and Noam Chomsky. She also had a subscription to Saturday Review. I bought the Sunday NY Times at the corner store, so she could read the NYT Magazine. I'd pick them up and read them too when I saw them lying around the house, monkey see, monkey do. She preferred David Susskind to Bill Buckley, "that pompous ass!" Most of the time she would say, I can't watch that idiot box!
I remember how much she admired Martin Luther King Jr., and how she despised bigotry. If she heard a bigoted remark, she would say, "Oh, please!," no matter who the offender was. She also liked Paul Robson. She told me that when she was young, she worked for the Brooklyn Dodgers' main office in the summer as a receptionist. I remember hearing her say, "you know, I know Jackie Robinson. He's a brave man and a great ball player. Pee Wee Reese, too! Pee Wee Reese is a great guy!" I didn't understand precisely (displaying my ignorance here) the significance of this account in her life until later when I saw the movie 42. I did know why she liked Jackie Robinson. She knew Branch Rickey, too, at work back then, and would discuss the Dodgers with my late uncle (her brother in law, who played an important role in my life as well but that's another story), who was obsessed with them his entire life. I didn't share their enthusiasm for baseball that much. I was more of a football fan then. Unfortunately, my mother died shortly before the movie was released and I had no chance to tell her I understood what she was trying to tell me. She would have loved that film, I know I did.
My mother had a liberal education and studied fine arts. She taught me to draw and paint. Not as a vocation just to experience the rewarding nature of art and expression. I learned about Michelangelo and Leonardo Da Vinci from her. I encouraged my children, and now my grandchildren, the same way. She probably brought hundreds of books home from the library over the years along with small art works (mostly prints I guess) including Japanese art, she loved so much. The public library lent the art items out for a week or two. I know my mom frequently returned them late. She brought home books about the Renaissance masters and Zen Buddhism. She liked Picasso, Van Gogh, Hemingway, Steinbeck, Tolstoy, Dostoyevsky, Camus, Merton, Baldwin, Frost, Elliot, Bronte and Friedan. My dad mostly stuck to mysteries, Ian Fleming and other "political thrillers." Good God! He was republican. When the Vietnam War started revving up, I think mom had a spiritual crisis because of Cardinal Spellman's support for the war and she stopped going to church. When Mohammed Ali took his stand against the war, she said, "Good for Ali!" Dad was all for the war, until it looked like I might have to go, fortunately I didn't.
She always encouraged me to visit NY city, the most wonderful place in the US she believed. I know she loved the theater. When she found that I intended to stay in Florida after I left the service, she told me she regarded it as a cultural wasteland and begged me not to go. Oh, well. You were right Mom.
My mom always supported the humanity in "others." She could always detect the hypocrisy in any report or argument. She taught me to be highly skeptical and try to help others. She had an invariable commitment to fairness. She admired Bill Kunstler. As a librarian she adamantly resisted censorship and stressed the importance of the First Amendment. She taught young people to read, and taught immigrants English as a second language. She had no formal qualifications to teach, she just liked to do it, on her own. She thought literacy and education were the most important assets a person could have. She enjoyed organizing events at the library and introducing children to books. She was loving, thoughtful and generous.
Hard act to follow. Best teacher I ever had. My sisters were harder on my mother than I was. They said, "you're blind to her faults." That's right, I am.
語必忠信 行必正直
Don't know how old you are, or your Mom's
year of birth, but it seems she had very similar conditions and environments as my Mom.
My gifts at Christmas were books.
My parent's swung hard left.
The harp, the grand...man, I wish I could play them, and be there when I did.
Thanks so much for your remarkable addition to this chat, and I truly envy your family childhood influence. It is reflected in all you say and do.
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
Such a great thread OTC
I was prompted to write my personal tribute by your thoughtful topic and description of your mother. I had second thoughts, to write something personal but there was so much in common with virtually all the stories here, I did so anyway. I guess it's our common humanity. Thanks for the warm reception here. I need a place to communicate with others without fear of ridicule or abuse.
C-99 Yoraboon, seng-il chuka hamnida! To everyone here at C99, happy birthday!
語必忠信 行必正直
We are all glad you found this site.
Ridicule and abuse for stating opinions is in very short supply.
Always say what's on your mind.
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
I enjoyed reading about your experience, soryang
Both my parents were born and raised in Brooklyn, and lived in what now might be considered tenements. I was born there. At one year old my parents moved us outside the city into the recently developing suburbs. My immigrant grandparents lived in Brooklyn and Queens for almost all the duration of their lives. I spent most weekends of my formative years with my grandparents there. My favourite memories were catching tadpoles in Prospect Park to tend while developing into frogs, sitting on the fire escape watching life on the street especially in summer when the water in the fire hydrants were opened for relief from the heat, and watching the fish swim around in the wood tanks my grandfather kept before smoking them. To this day smoked fish of any kind is a delicacy for me. I even smoke fish myself at times in a small portable smoker.
Your sisters probably didn’t have the advantage you had of being your mom's son ; ).
Harry Belafonte
...and Prospect Park. Too much synchronicity. My mom grew up near Prospect Park. I grew up hearing my mom playing her Harry Belafonte records. My dad was raised in Staten Island. His grandfather an immigrant from Baltimore, Ireland. My paternal grandmother was born in Naples. My grandfather worked in the Brooklyn Navy Yards. My mother and father moved to the suburbs as well after their marriage. My maternal grandmother moved to an apartment in Rockville Ctr to retire.
Thanks so much for all your comments. We have a lot in common. A tree grows in Brooklyn to coin a phrase.
語必忠信 行必正直
Isn't it cool
that people living on opposite ends of the earth can connect at this moment over all these years and distances.
How different Brooklyn and Korea are from each other. We are all lucky to have had varied experiences whether we live our whole lives in one place or vastly different ones. It wasn't until I arrived in NZ that I stopped searching for 'home'. On the other hand I deeply miss my family in America. Having these digital connections make it a bit easier.
It is midnight here.
Year 8 for the site.
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
Dear ol' mom
washing TV
It's a full moon ya know
happy anniversary!
question everything
Lol!
Great find, thanks for posting!
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
Midnight at the oasis
[video:https://youtu.be/VlrKETxwRvM]
Happy birthday, and many more c99!
Dear Ol' Dad
Ancestral Rays
caught them in Ft. Collins
Widows Bane
~
~
insanity is a great motivator for creative endeavors
question everything
Crazy,
wonderful music right there!
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
Wonderful to learn about the anniversary!
Finally a family I feel I belong with.
My parents were set to be artists, mother did beautiful work, had studied with Gladys Lux (at University of Nebraska in the mid-1930s).
No easy way to prevent pregnancy in the 1940s so the art had to be set aside after child two.
Parents found they had difficulty talking things over and decided that the best remedy was for my father to take a traveiing salesnan job. Nothing meaningful was ever spoken of in the kids' presence. Father's family forbad all political or other useful talk ~ too many arguments. Mother's family disowned her after she happened to let on that people of color were just like us. And not allowed to attend her mother's death.
My closest friend was Tom, just down the street; his father taught at Ohio State, and they were warm and nice.
As my sister and I try to piece family history together (mother's parents were first-generation immigrants from Prague, no history to be found) we see that she and I didn't have children, mother's two sisters did not have children, father's sister did not have chidren ~ but this was never mentioned. Father's grandparents escaped another Denmark-Germany war by traveling to the US to farm. My sister and I ended up with Master's degrees, one brother learned accounting in the Navy, another joined too, but worked in a ship's machine shop learning bigotry. But as children we were read to (no television then or, better, even later), so that was where I began.
The big fracture: a move cross-country. Shelves of home-grown canned food, Wonderful tool bench and tools, boxes of fine blockprints and their blocks, my mother's paintings ~ all left behind. He had said "sell they house, we're moving." She did not say No.
Left a real home, nice old turn-of-century Ohio with huge actively used garden, a couple of blocks' walk to groceries, post office, school, store that sold cloth, steam railroads we went to worship on weekends ~ to a place where already by 1949 you had to have a car, not a garden. Sense of family gone too. At least I could read.
Then on bicycle I made a lot of 1950s/60s pen-and-ink drawings around that Colorado town. And at university, library work and making out brought a link to one of the two big NYC art magazines. One needed a girl friday, and that was the beginning of my life close to language.
And this is the best place, it feels like the first home I've ever had.
All my thanks to JtC, Joe, OTC, and all of you here. If one has to get old nothing can replace the grit, depth, and warmth of this irreplaceable plank.
Sad your
sense of place and family ended so abruptly and so soon.
Never hesitate to display your art to us.
I have that library experience as well. Seems I ran through and ran out of courses to take in high school, so I was sent to the library, given topics to study and write about.Just me and the librarian. He is still with us, and when I bump into him in town, we always reflect on those fabulous years.
I hope that you were able to visit Prague at some point in your life. It has a majesty about it unlike anywhere else.
Thanks so very much for your comments and the lovely compliments for the site, my friend.
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
I don't think I ever had a sense of place
Dad was an industrial designer with an itching foot and an itching palm, so we moved every few years, always going where the money was better. It made for a very disruptive upbringing. We kids would just get used to a place and the people around it, and then it was pull up stakes and move to somewhere new and strange. This was no way to keep friends or personal possessions.
There is no justice. There can be no peace.
Kids from military families
do much the same, tell me stories of never being able to play on various sports or academic teams, as examples, because they didn't stay long enough to go through the required prep courses.
My family moved several times around the community, but never away from it.
The tremendous flip of our local community from predominately farming and ranching, to lake front subdivisions, golf courses, marinas, and camp grounds, in 1964. An influx of rich retirees from Houston rushed in to build their lake front mansions. The former farm boys got drafted.
Some say it was progress. I strongly disagree.
In today's world, I hear it in divorce and custody cases every day: kids that do not fit into a new school get bullied in such cruel ways, it totally destroys their academic potential.
I hope being here with us gives you a good feeling and sense of place, a sense of family.
Thanks for your comment, as always.
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
Eight years you say?
That went by fast. Way faster than that stretch of toddlerhood to third grade, which at the time seemed interminable.
I'm at the other end of the life span...closer to a nursing home than nursery school. Time seems to be spinning away double quick.
I haven't been here the whole eight years but I sure am glad this place is here. Many thanks Jct. There is a term out there on the intertubes that calls people who pay attention to events online 'doomscrollers'. It's an amusing term but it is actually just a way to disparage those who pay attention, those who refuse to accept the B.S. the corporate media serves up, those who are Cassandra-like in their sensitivity to what's coming around the corner, and finally those who don't relish the idea of behaving like a bunch of lemmings.
It does get depressing to watch a whole seemingly-intelligent group of people accept the propaganda hook, line, and sinker. So among other things, this platform is an antidote and a respite from that depressing spectacle. I like to think we might be able to turn things around. This place helps with that notion. So thanks to all who contribute here.
Thanks for the OT otc. The portrait of your Mom is wonderful.
gettin ready for that joy
to come on back home
sure could use a piece of it
show nuff
cheers!
question everything
I could use it as well
! Cheers backatya, nice to 'see' you.
Great tune!
I don't think we can overdose on joy, can we?
If we did, would it last forever?
I can't remember what year I stopped by, opened an account here. But I can say, I consider it the blog equivalent of a master class. Not a day goes by that I do not learn something. My sig line suggests I am wary of propaganda, on the alert for the bs we are fed, and the truths we are discouraged and often road blocked from seeing. It is so obvious and out there. Call me an out, loud, proud blogscroller. Please. Feel free.
My time is limited to research. The site members steer me in various directions I would never go on my own.
If enough people can find and understand the truth, it will set them, and all of us, free.
"Intelligent" people who disregard the facts are stupid. It's willful. People who never heard the facts are ignorant. Not willful.
My heart breaks for the ignorant, and hardens against the stupid.
Thanks so much for the thoughtful comment and that fantastic music!
I have a client who says he can put me and my hubby up in a hotel in NO 1 block from the police station, and we would be safe to get around to music venues. I may take him up on that offer!
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981
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