New Years Revelation! Sloppy Bear is outed!

Submitted by Alligator Ed on Sun, 01/01/2017 - 1:57am

Yes, It's From Russia With Love again

No, I don't mean the movie or sexy villains like Octopussy, you know James Bond films. At least Bond films were entertaining, all 245 of them, but none of them were scary.

Our Glorious Leader is going out in a nuclear blaze of glory or so he intends. Just like Hitler, "America didn't deserve me", he will usher in the End Times (a new subsidiary of NYT).

Cyber hacking! This is an act that our virtuous American system would never engage in. Never. (well, maybe sometimes). A causus belli so the OGL has declared as he nears his dotage, about to limp off the stage.

There are so many tales being told, that certainly where there is smoke "there must be...smoke". OGL was so busy trying to counter this Russian threat that he took little notice of Darling Hillary and Charming Billy making a chump out of him (or maybe he got a cut).

Please note: here is OGL, himself making the allegations: I have evidence but you can't see it!

Being a man in action (or is that one word?), he got up on his ~~bloody~~ bully pulpit to illustrate his vengeance: illustrated vengeance

Not being a man to let facts get in his way, OGL is taking bold action

Proof! Proof! Proof! we demand. Give us this proof. I am happy to provide the proof of Russia's nefarious involvement of our internal security. We may have heard of Fancy Bear and Cozy Bear, two Russians with furry skin, who have oft been rumored to sneak unannounced into voting booths and cesspools (Clinton, DNC, Podesta, et. al.) These two Bears have been extremely cautious and, like sightings of the Abominable Snowman, have rarely been directly observed. But, as Goldilocks would happily tell you, there is a third Bear. This bear is not so fastidious in his habits--he got caught! Hence, his name is Sloppy Bear.

Yes, the other bastion of journalistic truth, Washington Post has given us the deep secret the Kremlin has been trying to hide. Is it oil? Is it uranium? Is it a new supersonic fighter? (This list could go on indefinitely). No! It is our electric power grid.

Oops, Sloppy is such a poor cyberterrorist that he botched the job, only gaining access to one laptop not connected to the power grid itself. Cyber hacking experts at the CIA theorize that the laptop was hacked when its owner went on line to learn about mixing a Black Russian. So, please communicate with your congress critter, telling her/him that you heartily disapprove of people learning to make cocktails while doing sensitive work near a power grid.

Tags:

Russia

hacking

James Bond

scary

Vote

Comments

Submitted by CB on Sun, 01/01/2017 - 2:19am

Merry New Years, Toothy Bear

Here's some information about the 'Russian hacks' from William Binney. It makes for an interesting read.

Exit Obama in a Cloud of Disillusion, Delusion and Deceit
...
Anybody who believes the latest report issued by Obama as “proof” provides anything of the sort is very easily impressed by some entirely meaningless diagrams. William Binney, who was Technical Director at the NSA and actually designed their surveillance capabilities, has advised me by email. It is plain from the report itself that the Russian groups discussed have been under targeted NSA surveillance for a period longer than the timeframe for the DNC and Podesta leaks. It is therefore inconceivable that the NSA would not have detected and traced those particular data flows and they would be saved. In other words, the NSA would have the actual hack on record, would be able to recognise the emails themselves and tell you exactly the second the transmission or transmissions took place and how they were routed. They would be able to give you date, time and IP addresses. In fact, not only do they produce no evidence of this kind, they do not even claim to have this kind of definite evidence.

Secondly, Bill points out that WikiLeaks is in itself a top priority target and any transmission to WikiLeaks or any of its major operatives would be tracked, captured and saved by NSA as a matter of routine. The exact route and date of the transmission or transmissions of the particular emails to WikiLeaks would be available. In fact, not only does the report not make this information available, it makes no claim at all to know anything about how the information was got to WikiLeaks.
...
There could be no evidence because in reality these were leaks, not hacks. The report is, frankly, a pile of complete and utter dross. To base grave accusations of election hacking on this report is ludicrous. Obama has been a severe disappointment to all progressive thinkers in virtually every possible way. He now goes out of power with absolutely no grace and in a storm of delusion and deceit.
...

Submitted by Alligator Ed on Sun, 01/01/2017 - 3:39am

It's impossible to prove a negative

Well, not exactly.

Russian hacking--not much on record yet--so no proof here.

Hillary Clinton would be most war-mongering president--thank goodness, no proof there.

Barack Obama has done nothing substantially good, which is a negative--but also provable.

Submitted by irishking on Sun, 01/01/2017 - 5:27am

I'd say we can go past tense on that.

Barack Obama has done nothing substantially good, which is a negative--but also provable.

Submitted by Amanda Matthews on Mon, 01/02/2017 - 12:56pm

Hopey-Changey is the biggest, most hypocritical

Lying sack of offal that's ever sat in the Oval Office in my lifetime, and I was born as Truman went out (1949). Bush** and Cheney were/are liars but we knew it and they KNEW we knew. And they didn't give a rat's ass if we did or not. Because it didn't matter. The Democrats pushed the lies themselves! The Clinton Creature and the rest of the quislings sold us out for their own benefit. They wanted to look 'tough' and didn't give a fuck about being 'right'. If I were a Democrat in Washington, the last thing I would do is complain about propaganda or make demands about anyone telling the truth about ANYTHING.

And then there's that foul and bloody situation that our DemoRATic President and his henchmen engineered in the Ukraine. And the weapons sales. And the lies over the drone attacks on wedding parties and family gatherings. AND THE THING THAT PISSES ME OFF MOST OF ALL - that bastids barefaced lies over the NSA spying when he pretty much looked into the camera and laughed at us and said WASN'T happening. The things I wish and hope for for that SOB after he did that are enough to buy me a first-class ticket to Hell, if you believe in that sort of thing. I'm sure that my hatred for him, someone I don't even know but who is messing with all our lives, is every bit as strong as anything I felt for the last bunch of lying, greedy, power mad criminals that commandeered the Oval Office. (I bet it chaps old Shillary's ass that the protests in the streets didn't work for her like the Brooks Brother's Riot worked for Chimpy.) I hope that Obama understands that the Clinton Creature's loss is due as much to revulsion for his 'accomplishments' as it is her repugnancy factor as a politician and a lying, self-centered money grubbing war whore.

Democrats lie and pretend they're the party of the people and then go behind out backs and do everything they can to ensure that if there's anthing good to be had their benefactor's reap the rewards and the plebs get to pay for their goodies with our last dime or drop of blood. And I believe right now they're running a scam that, in the end, will only allow shits like Jeff Bozo and his vanity news rag to say what it wants and the rest of us will go up on charges of 'inciting terrorism' if anything we say goes against the current government's agenda. (And if the Democratic crooks and amoral cretins don't think the incoming bunch of lying shits won't use that tactic once they're in power they're crazy.)

Obama acts like the US has clean hands. Well, here's what we do to our friends:

lines from Speigel Article

The NSA's Secret Spy Hub in Berlin
According to SPIEGEL research, United States intelligence agencies have not only targeted Chancellor Angela Merkel's cellphone, but they have also used the American Embassy in Berlin as a listening station. The revelations now pose a serious threat to German-American relations.

http://m.spiegel.de/international/germany/a-930205.html

end of link

With 'friends' like that guy no enemies are necessay. And having that lying grasping flunky for the 1%/MIC for a president has been even worse.

EDIT: the grammar was so poor it read like something written by Latka Gravas.

—

I'm tired of this back-slapping "Isn't humanity neat?" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes, okay? That's all we are. - Bill Hicks

Politics is the entertainment branch of industry. - Frank Zappa

Submitted by irishking on Fri, 01/06/2017 - 2:25am

Whew!

Yeh! to everything you said, down to the nicknames: Clinton Creature" is wonderful .

My only "concern" is that you be able to use your anger constructively. Else you might stroke out.

But that is my only reservation. Obama was the worst of them, in my opinion.
But the Creature is so horrible.

ok I am going to ask a question. I think you are perfect and would be honest. Please look at CC watching Khadafi's impalement by bayonet. Watch her body. Did that woman just have an orgasm or not?
Please advise. (Never thought I could ask anyone, but that is what you get for ranting.
peace out. ik

Submitted by MsGrin on Sun, 01/01/2017 - 11:00am

Fake news! Fake news! The Russians Are Coming! Fake news!

wait? where was I again?

Sloppy bear was a bear. Sloppy bear had no Russian hair. Sloppy bear wasn't cozy or fancy, was he?

This election season started from perposterous and then plummetted downward from there.
We've gone from weirderer to weirdererer, haven't we?

Happy 2017 - Enjoy living through the looking glass...

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'What we are left with is an agency mandated to ensure transparency and disclosure that is actually working to keep the public in the dark' - Ann M. Ravel, former FEC member

Submitted by MsGrin on Sun, 01/01/2017 - 11:35am

The Hill has just caught the WaPo apology

http://thehill.com/homenews/312354-washington-post-corrects-story-on-ver...

The Washington Post has corrected a story that originally said Russian hackers penetrated the U.S. electric grid by breaching a utility company in Vermont.

“An earlier version of this story incorrectly said that Russian hackers had penetrated the U.S. electric grid. Authorities say there is no indication of that so far. The computer at Burlington Electric that was hacked was not attached to the grid,” an editor's note attached to the original article said.

The version quoted in the piece linked in your essay is a bit less obtuse.

—

'What we are left with is an agency mandated to ensure transparency and disclosure that is actually working to keep the public in the dark' - Ann M. Ravel, former FEC member

Submitted by edg on Sun, 01/01/2017 - 12:09pm

This reminds me of the Iraq War lies.

Remember aluminum tubes for nuclear centrifuges? Even when it was pointed out they were the wrong size, the MSM and BushCo kept pushing the phony story. Same with yellow cake uranium and mobile chemical weapons labs.

In this case, a specific piece of malware (shown to be Ukrainian, not Russian, and widely available on the Internet, not linked to some secret government agency) was found on a laptop. Although not much info is given, the weasel wording tells me the malware was likely just an email attachment that was detected by a virus scanner and the laptop was never hacked.

Submitted by Bisbonian on Sun, 01/01/2017 - 12:29pm

Ukrainian = scary + funny looking letters

Scary + funny looking letters = Russian

therefore, Ukrainian = Russian.

the malware was likely just an email attachment that was detected by a virus scanner and the laptop was never hacked.

but when it wasn't hacked, it wasn't hacked BY RUSSIANS! EVIL RUSSIANS...not hacking our electrical grids, just to throw us off the scent.

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"I’m a human being, first and foremost, and as such I’m for whoever and whatever benefits humanity as a whole.” —Malcolm X

Submitted by Alligator Ed on Sun, 01/01/2017 - 1:00pm

Bisbonian, you have a knack for Washington logic

I like your syllogism

Scary + funny looking letters = Russian therefore, Ukrainian = Russian.

And might I add, that the Evil Russians are EVIL because they are godless oligarchs...oops, not too much different there than our Oligarchs.

Submitted by Bisbonian on Sun, 01/01/2017 - 1:14pm

I learned it all from Joseph Heller.

and Yossarian.

(scary name)

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