The elites were sitting around a table, and...

one of them came up with this ingenious plan.

"We'll appropriate this holiday, you see, and while no capitalism (well, almost no capitalism) can take place on the day of the holiday itself, we'll have lots of capitalism for the rest of the month by coercing people to buy presents for each other! It'll boost sales like crazy, and make up for the one day we're not selling anything!"

And so the elites mumbled to each other, and wondered out loud what sort of mishmash of a holiday they could appropriate. Predictably, the elite consensus began to form around a particular holiday, one that had been especially susceptible to appropriation by groups representing other holidays.

In the year 274 of the Christian Era, the emperor Aurelian decreed that December 25th was to be "Dies Natalis Solis Invicti," the Day of the Birth of the Unconquered Sun, throughout the Roman Empire, to standardize a holiday commemorated by Elagabalus, who ruled from 218-222. In doing so, Aurelian brought together a number of other holidays celebrated on that date, including Mithramas, a celebration of Mithras by the initiates of Mithraism, a mystery religion of the Roman Army, and the birth of Horus, the sky-god of Egyptian mythology (or at least this is allegedly so according to a couple of Roman sources). And then of course there was the old Germanic Yule.

So at some point after the Christian religion became dominant in the Roman Empire, the December 25th holiday became "Christmas," although apparently for awhile it had been January 6th. Nobody really knows when Jesus (who was actually Y'shua (pronounced "Yeshua," given that there was another Y'shua who made it into the literature as "Joshua")) was born. Centuries later, some time after capitalism had been born in what Jason W. Moore calls the "long 16th century," the elites rejoiced.

So it's all good, right? At least maybe we'll spend some time thinking of peace and love, which can't be a bad thing in itself.

Have a good Monday.

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Cassiodorus's picture

"Santa Claus" was the Dutch version of St. Nicholas, who was a 4th century Greek bishop living in what was then Asia Minor. Apparently his region participated substantially in the population transfers following the Greek-Turkish war of 1919-1922. His skin was probably the very light brown of those in the region. But hey, if people want him to be a white guy living at the North Pole, why not?

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“The Democrats and Republicans want you to believe they are mortal enemies engaged in a desperate struggle when all the time, they are partners with a power-sharing agreement.” - Richard Moser

Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@Cassiodorus @Cassiodorus that's because somebody plopped that historical figure on top of this guy:

odinsanta_0.jpg

santa_is_odin-06_0.jpg

santa_is_odin-07_0.jpg

santa_is_odin-08_0.jpg

santa_is_odin-09.jpg

for more proof from a fairly hilarious guy, check this out:

http://infolocata.com/mirovia/irrefutable-proof-that-santa-is-odin/

In any case, no way is this guy:

220px-MerryOldSanta_0.jpg

Actually this guy:

detail0.jpg

At least in that rendering, they made Nicholas' skin brown. But the unbearable whiteness of being Santa probably comes from collapsing the Anatolian guy into the guy riding Sleipnir through the night leaving presents for kids--at least when they're nice enough to leave some carrots and hay for Sleipnir out in their boots.

I can't help but feel that there was some other influence on Santa too, probably lost in the myths of time, because Odin just doesn't seem jolly enough. I bet there was, at some point, some winter father-god who symbolized bounty and generosity and good cheer, who also got folded into Santa (some people think it was Frau Holda!)

But the Christian veneer on this one is as thin as the imposition of an Irish nun onto Brigid.

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"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver

Cassiodorus's picture

@Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal We can thank the Coca-Cola Company for our mythology of Santa Claus.

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“The Democrats and Republicans want you to believe they are mortal enemies engaged in a desperate struggle when all the time, they are partners with a power-sharing agreement.” - Richard Moser

Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@Cassiodorus Actually, no. The Coca-Cola company co-opted a very old mythology of an old deity riding through the winter sky giving gifts, as the Catholic Church had done before them.

Apparently pagan myths are incredibly attractive targets for co-optation.

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"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver

Cassiodorus's picture

@Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal I meant that the idea that Santa Claus was a jolly old fat guy who drank Coke, instead of being like Gandalf, was the Coca-Cola contribution.

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“The Democrats and Republicans want you to believe they are mortal enemies engaged in a desperate struggle when all the time, they are partners with a power-sharing agreement.” - Richard Moser

Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@Cassiodorus He did put on weight, didn't he?

And note the patriotic red and white.

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"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver

Shahryar's picture

@Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal but same holy day, by crazy coincidence.

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Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@Shahryar Ah. Thanks for clearing that up.

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"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver

Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

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"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver

Cassiodorus's picture

@Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal when they showed the Rick and Morty Christmas episode on Cartoon Network.

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“The Democrats and Republicans want you to believe they are mortal enemies engaged in a desperate struggle when all the time, they are partners with a power-sharing agreement.” - Richard Moser

Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@Cassiodorus Here's one of my favorite bits of holiday cheer:

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"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver