Coffee and Accountability IV

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Humility

I like making plans. I like setting goals and achieving them. The sense of accomplishment is one of the dearest satisfactions of my life. Maybe it’s because I’m an Aries; more likely it’s because I’m an American. But I like very much to do things like say: This week, I will change habit X to habit Y, start project A, and seek out bliss B! See you next week to see if I give myself cheers or jeers!

The problem with all this is threefold. First, ambition is a neat tool to have on one’s internal workbench, but it’s not a very good motivating or directing force for the process of personal change. If it were, the umpty-million diet and exercise plans Americans inundate ourselves with every year would be remarkably successful. Just set your goals, achieve more of them than you don’t, and presto! You end up changed in the manner of your choosing. Clearly, it doesn’t happen that way for most of us. Most of us, if we have trouble changing our habits, continue to have trouble changing our habits, no matter how great our ambitions are. I myself resemble that remark.

Second, I’m not in school anymore, this isn’t homework, and I’m not being graded. What I mean by that is both that the process of change needs to be more internally motivated and directed than it was in school, and also that the “reward” I give to myself for having succeeded is much less concrete and meaningful outside of a social context that gives such things meaning. I think this is why Coffee and Accountability has been so useful to Kate and I—the meetings provide a social context for the changes to take place in, and make the goals have meaning. Unfortunately, I’ve lately been in such a tailspin that I haven’t even been meeting with Kate.

Third, and most fundamentally, you can’t schedule bliss. The only thing you can do is resolve to take time out when it presents itself, and attend to whatever bliss has popped up in your surroundings.

All that being said, I didn’t do too badly this week at changing my habit (eating only two restaurant meals). I didn’t achieve that goal, but I certainly advanced toward it (eating four restaurant meals), which isn’t too bad a result given that I foolishly neglected to meal plan and shop before blithely committing myself to not eating delivery food. (If you aren’t going to eat restaurant food, presumably you are going to cook yourself meals, and I didn’t get those ducks in a row fast enough.) Four restaurant meals is a lot less delivery food than I was eating. I consider that a step toward my goal, and I have a week yet to make the goal, so I guess I get a somewhat muted cheer for that one.

As for the project, I realized that if I take the vinyl out of the boxes, I need somewhere to put it afterward, which means, at the very least, that I need to clear some bookshelves. That requires a purge of my books to create shelf space. I guess I could just buy vinyl storage, but I don’t want to do that until I know how much usable vinyl I have left. Again, I didn’t deal with the prerequisites of my goals, or even think about them much.

As for the bliss, I realized very quickly that if you say I WILL FIND BLISS BY DOING ACTIVITY X THIS WEEK, that’s not bliss. In fact, it’s a surefire way to downgrade bliss into mild fun at best, and a chore at worst. Bliss shouldn’t and maybe can’t be an achievement.

So, I’m demonstrating a lack of due thought about my goals. Specifically, I’m giving myself instructions and challenges without providing myself with what I need to get the job done. That is ironic, because the entire intent of Coffee and Accountability is to focus on providing oneself with the resources necessary to make change happen in your life. You’re not supposed to just make yet another list and hand down yet another set of strictures about what you are and are not allowed to do. There’s no percentage in it; any of a hundred self-help books could help you do that.

I’m being slowly dragged, kicking and screaming, into the knowledge that what I order myself to do is less important than what I need, and that finding new and creative ways to make more lists of ways I should overcome my shortcomings is not my ticket to a life that is better and more fully lived. The truth is that even when I do successfully change my habits, it doesn’t really address the central problem of being depressed and drained of energy. Here’s what I’m learning:

1) Filling your needs really has to come first, regardless of how silly, weak, or selfish that seems.

2) The most important things you do for yourself often require interrupting other activities that you are also doing, and if you’re not willing to stop what you’re doing, you will likely miss the boat. In other words, if I’m paying bills and I get an idea for an essay, I need to put down the bills and go and write until I have enough down that I can be sure the idea won’t vanish from my mind. I can’t say “But I want to get these bills done; I’m sure I’ll remember the idea later.” This holds true for my vocation, writing, but equally holds true for following your bliss. If something beautiful or delightful presents itself to you, it’s no good—at least for me—to say “Well, I’ll finish the dishes and then go attend to that bliss over there.” Nor is it helpful to say “But I want to keep playing my computer game right now! I’ll write later.”

So, this is my exercise in humility. I have to accept—really accept—the fact that I can’t do more until I fill the tank. And I need to accept, also, that in order to make room for new activity, some old activity is going to have to go, or at least be pushed to the back burner. Finally, it seems to be true, for me at least, that certain things come when they will, and if you don’t stop what you’re doing and attend to them, you will find yourself getting fewer and fewer writing ideas—and fewer and fewer moments of bliss.

So I guess I need to eat some humble pie...

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Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

As for me, I may do dumb things, but at least I'm honest about it!

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"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver

QMS's picture

Can fully relate to the drag on creativity
presented by the Covid distress.

Keeping one's head above the water is requiring more
and more focused resolution and determination.
None of which is conducive to flash inspiration.

Try not to let expectations dictate your direction.

Having lists of both practical and fun endeavors
helps steer us in a useful direction.

The freedom / ability to choose at any given moment
which is most pertinent for sanity and growth
helps drive the energies in a positive way.

Thanks for the OT can't stop!

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Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@QMS

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"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver

QMS's picture

@Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal

A solution is to try to do better
whenever it is within you. Wink

harmony.jpeg
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Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@QMS

The freedom / ability to choose at any given moment
which is most pertinent for sanity and growth
helps drive the energies in a positive way.

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7 users have voted.

"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver

wendy davis's picture

follow your bliss, etc. lest you slip into depression is fascinating. bliss seems to mean ecstasy, rapture, so there's room for nothing else. i wonder how many times in my life i've actually experienced it, save for thinking so after the fact.

but one of the few things i can still do to to chrge my energy is to help others in our community is to send out healthy and yummy food, and recently as we're downsizing our possessions, to send boxes of nice possessions (wall hangings, antiques, artwork, and jewelry) out into the world. sharing makes me feel brighter, if not quite...blissful.

i don't sleep much, and last night i had this horrid realization: i'm vexed when people don't say thank you, or even appreciate what i send out. oh, fuck me, i'd thought: i may be turning into some bitter old crank! whoosh, wd, time to let go of all that energy-sucking dreck. will i be able to make that transformation? dayum, i'm hoping so!

one other thing that can provide joy for me is music, and while my own is a thing of the past now, one organization i've loved and admired for years is the Playing for Change, World Peace through Music. this link takes you to 50 or so of them on youtube, but for pure joy and chair-boogying, i guess Yahamba really floats my boat and grin and glow (titi! tula!):

on later edit: ack! i put the wrong video in! betcha can't NOT boogie in your chair!

yeah, i just told mr. wd i'll put up his fave, too, and it's my second from the PFC house band (their cover of peter tosh's Jah Guide):

thanks for the good thread, amiga. and how cool you're learning to cook.

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Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@wendy davis

I think I've only posted this about a million times. What an amazing concert, put on by Bill Graham. Had John Lee Hooker, Etta James, Carlos Santana, Steve Marriott, Paul Butterfield, Elvin Bishop, and a great drummer I don't know. It's like a straight shot of good energy to the soul:

I guess what I mean by bliss is one of those moments of delight that can come from a song, a bite of food, a fall of light in the back yard...

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"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver

wendy davis's picture

@Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal

i'll need to finish it later, though.

saw the hook twice in boulder, went to see Sanatana in san jose, but the show was cancelled. he IS magic, and has given so many other young un's boosts. maybe my fave of those, rob thomas:

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Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@wendy davis

Thanks for mentioning them, and for the links!

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"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver

Lookout's picture

@wendy davis @Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal

So cool the way they paste the pieces of the world sound together. Takes damn good sound software and a good techie. One of my faves is all along the watchtower with the first nations folks.

I love playing and singing that one. Jimi owned it, but Bob wrote it.

I think the path to bliss lies in enjoying the journey rather than making the goal the purpose. I find there is no end point, each step leads to the next, and after this task is another. We do as we can and as we are drawn. Music is a good example. Playing is for fun, and practice is more like work. As I look back I realize practice was to prepare for a performance...and just playing music is for the joy. And I must admit I look forward to returning to sessions.

Accomplishing goals as you say does make you feel good. I managed to get some more seeds in yesterday. Young plants are waiting for a rain to get planted out, and lettuce and greens already have to be watered. So pleasure in small achievements for me I guess.

All the best to you and yours. Looks like cold weather in CO and warm in FL. Either way I hope you both have a good one!

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“Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

wendy davis's picture

@Lookout

on my real player and often set it to Repeat... was he really from a different multiverse? but yes, this one's an electric jolt to the heart and soul.

i'm the journey, not the goal, too. practicing music v. playing the gig: i do see your point, although i was a self-taught guitar player, only learned to i could sing...what i wanted to sing. my partner had maybe a three-and-a-half octave reach (as did her two sisters), and began playing leads while we were together. but the audience gives one back electricity, too, yes?

but packing up after gigs, the lat nights, esp. w/ two small children and a day job. but you must be a studio musician w/ your mention of Sessions. meaning: hella lotta practice.

i don't understand how they get all the musicians around the globe to play in the same key, either. puzzling, but maybe that's my ignorance talking. this is another of my absolute faves:

and yes, CStMS: small bites of bliss.

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Lookout's picture

@wendy davis

they can correct tuning and even bad notes. That's why I mentioned it takes a good techie to put it together.

Have not had a studio gig in a few years. Most of our sessions here are strictly for fun. I'm glad to be off the road and the performing circuit and just enjoying music with friends.

All the best!

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“Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

wendy davis's picture

@wendy davis .

'in my ignorance'. speaking of tech, brewer and shipley were here in pudunk, SW Co a long time ago, and had devices that doubled their vocals, maybe even their guitars.

'sessions' then, are jams,for fun. to say the truth, i had trouble with those, a i couldn't always identify the chords being played across the room from me, nor could i tell which chord i should play to a lead guitar. hack guitarist, but still, i got paid for it, lol.

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enhydra lutris's picture

@Lookout

be well and have a good one

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That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

magiamma's picture

And y’all

Rain is bliss. Just started pouring right after my walk. Walked with friend yesterday who had also completed the vaccine regimen. No masks. Except when passing ppl to show respect

New trail for me.

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Posted this yesterday but it is so worth listening to again

Take good care everyone

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Stop Climate Change Silence - Start the Conversation

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QMS's picture

@magiamma

love it
thanks

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wendy davis's picture

@magiamma

and i'll add this beautiful and heartfelthomage to 'rain rain rain, beautiful rain':

rememmber paul simon had made a whole album with them?

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magiamma's picture

@wendy davis
Omg, fuck.yeah(as we said often and frequently during the Bernie campaign). Saw them up in the mountains at a winery here many many years ago. Love the way the use breath. Tyvm.

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Stop Climate Change Silence - Start the Conversation

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wendy davis's picture

@magiamma

with envy. it's so dry here that there may be NO irrigation water here come spring.

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enhydra lutris's picture

@magiamma

today, tonight and tomorrow, but no sign of anything yet except cloudy and cold.

That's a great tree, reminds me of a trail down at El Capitan State Beach , almost overgrown with many like that, also "Veterans Park" out in Livermore.

be well and have a good one

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That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

Raggedy Ann's picture

Accomplished a goal on Sunday. Found a small house to move into ~ finally. Will move the 20th. Such a relief to finally have a place of my own.

Enjoy the day! Pleasantry

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The UFO’s are coming to unify us.

Granma's picture

@Raggedy Ann

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Raggedy Ann's picture

@Granma ! I know you’re aware how big this is for me! Give rose

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The UFO’s are coming to unify us.

@Raggedy Ann Congrats! Can you have chickens there? Hope so, fresh eggs are always the best!

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Life is what you make it, so make it something worthwhile.

This ain't no dress rehearsal!

Raggedy Ann's picture

@jakkalbessie ~ I cannot have chickens there, as I am in the middle of the city, so sad, but that's okay for now.

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The UFO’s are coming to unify us.

snoopydawg's picture

@Raggedy Ann

The rooster wakes me up every morning. Can you check?

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The donor class doesn’t want it, and Americans elect the bribed. So suck it up.

The Ostrich should be the national bird not the Eagle

Raggedy Ann's picture

@snoopydawg ~~ according to my new landlord, so no, I'm not asking. Pleasantry

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The UFO’s are coming to unify us.

QMS's picture

@Raggedy Ann

Reminds me of the story of some guy in Minnesota
who reacted to the Draconian edits put down during
the pandemic panic. They would only allow 3 people at a
Thanksgiving gathering, but 9 people for a funeral.
So he held a funeral for the turkey and got his whole
family together. Working around the edges.

Good luck Wink

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enhydra lutris's picture

@Raggedy Ann

be well and have a good one

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That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

Granma's picture

Was trying to do too much at once. It takes time and energy to change habits. Cooking instead of eating restaurant meals means grocery shopping and time in the kitchen fixing food and cleaning up afterward. And just changing uses up emotional energy, at least it does for me. And I'm guessing that is common.

Since in the same week you wanted to unpack vinyl, figure out which I good shape, which not, and you needed to clear shelf space for the keepers, which meant going through your books. That was a whole extra project.

Don't give up or beat yourself up about it. Just think through the pieces of the projects and do one part a week. Break things down into manageable steps and you will have success. You were trying to eat an elephant in one go, so to speak. Think baby steps toward your goals.

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Granma's picture

@Granma going through drawers and closets and getting the stuff out of here. I've been at it for a long time now. I'm only able to do a little at a time, and have to plan ahead. If I do too much at once, I'll have boxes or bags sitting around, more clutter, which will drive me bats. I'm very slow due to limited energy and mobility. But it gives me satisfaction to make progress.

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mimi's picture

@Granma
three years and no matter what kind of box I de-clutter them too and bring them to the recycling center. Well, now the house is 'orderly' and nobody cares. I feel like an idiot to have done the de-cluttering.

Clutter makes a house a home. There is that too.

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Granma's picture

@mimi but this isn't obvious junk I'm dealing with. That is easy. I did all of that a long time ago. When people come to my house, they think it clean and orderly, with the exception of papers to be filed sometimes. I'm just trying to pare down belongings, things I don't really need or use anymore. If I had energy and mobility, I would finish it in a few days.

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QMS's picture

@Granma

also have been in the process of paring down belongings
have so much to get rid of
don't want to leave my junk to the wife when I leave.

The tricky bits are tools with a personal relationship.

All the wires, pipes, nuts and bolts, hoses, screws, nails
staples, odd bits and pieces are going out the door
ok, but at this rate, it may be a couple years before
I can reclaim the walls. Best start now.

Slowly, have found worthies and familiars to take my
library of trade and craft books, duplicate tools, specialty items,
good wood, cabinet parts, with magic spells and potions
which helps. And hurts to lose a lifetime's worth of fixers.

Tough choices, but better to lighten the load ..

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Granma's picture

@QMS I'm doing this so my kids won't be left with so much to deal with. I'm not a pack rat, but hate waste, so tend to hang onto things I think will be useful.

It is like peeling an onion, a little at a time, and then find more to get rid of. You have my sympathy. It can be hard to let go of things that hold good memories. I wish you much luck.

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mimi's picture

@Granma
I met in the house of my sister (our parents house, we grew up in) 40 years of family history, I was never part of. I was constantly being pulled to keep things and then having to decide if we still need it.

I wish you strength to make the decision, though I think, it doesn't hurt too much to not making the decision, as long it is in a house that belongs to you and the space is there.

I realized that I almost don't need anything and it feels good to not be locked down clinging to it. I want to be free of belongings and free to move on. Smile

I wished I could help moving stuff out of your way.

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Granma's picture

@mimi and your efforts were/are not appreciated, Mimi.

Pat yourself on the back. You did a good thing and that matters.

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Dawn's Meta's picture

We've had a tough time with really bad for health house/home environments. It takes most of our time, even with Lockdown. But we do go for a daily walk and keep a path clear along our creek; feed our birds every day; try for anti inflammatory drinks, vitamins and anti Covid vitamins and supplements as we've learned here.

We need help with our larger projects and yard work, not easy to find these days. Hard not to be daunted. Some days not reacting to mold on construction dust is a day to get through. Hydrogen Peroxide spray on stone and stucco walls plus frequent travertine floor mopping with savon noir is a help. Not sure how long the walls will shed but it is a constant so far. Stone is new for us and not something we sought. Modern was our plan. But under those wallboard walls, which looked so good, lurked loads of mold. It's all been taken down, including the walls, floors, the entire back extension and rebuilt from scratch with a drainage. It's as though we built a 1200 sq ft new house after demolishing a stone shack.

Our planned help is in the now not EU UK with a broken ankle. He and another buddy were going to bring much needed manpower to our unruly rubble and terrain. Not much for them, lots for us. Sigh.

We did have a couple from a small city stop by and ask to use our tent platform for a concert for forty this May or so. We were thrilled. Sure.

Incentives can come in surprise packages. A gathering at our house has always been my biggest motivator to get stuff done. Especially the hard things like cleaning, weeding and mulching, getting things organized. The lady grew up here and her grandfather owned our house some time in the past. We now wonder if she ever was in it: we have questions.

This should be fun. Our Tekel and our two teenaged kittehs, sleek small Puma - Ira, and grey fluffy George, are our joy these days. Our walks with Teddy are different every day. Right now the creek has gone down a lot and we see wild Anemones and yellow Primula (Cowslips) coming everywhere. Saw a patch of Violets with no scent whatsoever. Some patches of wild Onion here and there.

Going through years of recovery from an under-appreciated set of infections and dished the worst Western medicine had to offer, we have learned there is no bottom to humility.

Thank you for your lovely series and for listening.

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A society grows great when old men plant trees in whose shade they know they shall never sit. Allegedly Greek, but more possibly fairly modern quote.

Consider helping by donating using the button in the upper left hand corner. Thank you.

Granma's picture

@Dawn's Meta I love that picture.

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mimi's picture

I can|t say i have too many options to choose what to do now and then what to do next and then not getting frustrated of what I did yesterday, because nobody gives a damn about what I DO. I miss getting credit !

So, my bliss today was thinking ahead of how to fix a metal tube leading into our well that cracked due to the freezing temperature. The magic son of our helping hand, who ain't helping, just said there are some pipes in a store (something similar to Home Depto in the US) that he needs to get to fix the well. Looked to me like difficult to find in a huge store. But today whole Germany was blissful. Strict lock down over. The first day all stores were allowed to open and people just had their super bliss just going into stores without difficulties.

So, I went to the store, thinking i should find that pipe for my magic son of our not helping hand, I went into the store (happy it was open again)... and yippie I found the pipes and all the pieces to repair the well. Hah. I bought them and thought, next time when the magic son of our non helping hand, is coming, I will have a surprise and have every little pipe pieces ready for him to do the job. Mission accomplished.

So, I hope you all had some blissful activities today. I never pass a good coffee. accountability with me ... I guess that's something I should have, but don't, at least not for writing stuff. It never came to my mind that I could write. (I have a lot to say, therefore I GOT JUST yesterday a software in which I can talk and it is transformed to text. It's a lot of fun to use reading what I was talking into the computer)

I can organize stuff.

Like books. But it is no fun getting rid of books. So, I keep them and let other people throw them away when I am gone.

My bliss in the day is to come here and read all your stuff. I have to work on not feeling guilty to produce nothing productive here for the site.

Ok, I have to get my stuff done. Lost ALL my data of my phone and have to go to my paper telephone records (a messy pile of little notes in several boxes) I do like paper archives.
Had a digital meltdown and just cursed it. Luckily I have some telephone and computer guys who are very kind and come when I need them and help me out. What a bliss !-)

Good Morning all and have a good cup of coffee. Nothing works without coffee for me. Smile

And no BS political news will get me distracted from feeling good. You remember Mr. Feelgood

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enhydra lutris's picture

to contribute having read this early this morning over coffee and then getting entangled in a maelstrom of errands, chores, "completed" projects needing just a little adjustment ASAP (bwahahahahaha) and the like. So what is it you were saying?

It appears to be 10:15 and my morning began at 6:15 or so. Hmmmmm? All my productivity aids and tools and schedules and shit are in place and working, so this must be progress and self-congratulations must be in order, because, damned if one of the not quite completed projects finally is (or, at least seems to be, for now at any rate).

Oh yes, I'm fine, doing very well, thanks you. Wink And the birdfeeders are loaded, except for the suet, which I seem to be nearly out of. Ah well, it's spring, they can fake it.

Whoooeee. Black Coffee, oops, forgot to get some travel grounds from Peets (travel with espresso grind Major Diskason's Blend for aeropress, home coffee and brewer are much more mundane) Well, I need to gas up the beast and such Thursday,, so Gasoline, coffee and suet, so far, for Thursday.

Sure glad I didn't have a plan or purpose for this comment.

Anyway, what I was thinking of trying to intimate is that days during which you do no't injure yourself ior go bankrupt, are generally pretty good days, when you get down to it, you know, while waiting for the Bliss.

be well and have a good one

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That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

QMS's picture

@enhydra lutris

haven't lost too much blood yet today
still feel a couple fingers
and the brain is still hungry

screw progress..

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enhydra lutris's picture

@QMS

haven't lost too much blood yet today
still feel a couple fingers
and the brain is still hungry

be well and have a good one

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That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

studentofearth's picture

It is not as deep as depression or as high emotionally as bliss. It is a comfortable place to be spend most of ones time and only a short distance to blissful moments and a shorter climb from depression. Contentment isn't like falling up or down emotionally, seems to spread into a larger base to interact with life. The more content one is the greater capacity to respond to hardships and blissful moments resonate longer.

Reducing restaurant meals, the question is why? Budget, health, symptom of lack of planning, availability of quality ingredients, cooking skills, reduce packaging waste... Maybe a positive target goal vs restrictions will be easier to make adjustments.

Big Tech food delivery services are eating your lunch The onerous terms imposed by the likes of Grab, FoodPanda and Gojek are killing your favorite restaurants.

iChefClubSG says “The 3 major costs (i.e. manpower, rent and cost of goods) should not exceed 70% of overall revenue.”

A typical food delivery contract includes a fee of 30% or more of revenue from the restaurant sales, a commitment to not underprice, and an exclusivity clause limiting fair competition. In exchange, restaurants can get a basic listing among hundreds of competitors that provide search, payment and delivery processing.
...
Now throw in branding and marketing, packaging, IT, maintenance, training, etc. and many restaurants are very likely running below 10% profit. Apply that math to the food delivery service model and many restaurants are losing money just to be listed.

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Still yourself, deep water can absorb many disturbances with minimal reaction.
--When the opening appears release yourself.

It is a realization during a bliss pause in your everyday life. Driving to work, looking around at the gorgeous landscape. All that is needed to achieve bliss is a split second of recognition. It is the sound of music not necessarily planned, but appreciated for all its' beauty and wonder. It is necessarily spontaneous.
Cooking. It is never too late to learn how to apply heat to raw food. And to add healthy and tasty spices. Start simple, and get inventive later.
I make lists as a matter of business. And as a matter of organizing my home. And travel. It is my nature now to make "to do" lists. I do what I can daily, meet deadlines, no accountability other than marking things off the list.

When I was young, cooking came from family, friends, and recipe books. Great, unless family refused to teach you, friends were bad cooks, and recipe books called for ingredients you could not access. Now, the internet can help you with a few clicks. All Recipes is helpful. Much more efficient than trial and error.I think we are conditioned to experience bliss as per music, or movies, or something.
It is everywhere, all the time, and all it takes is the split second of awareness and recognition.
Bliss all day, all night long, cstms!
I will give you cooking tips any time you pm me!

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