Have you been feeling nauseated about the poor jobs performance for the past three months in a row? Do you feel arthritis in your limbs at the thought that another banking failure could once and for all end the dreams of your golden years? Have you been taking all the right medications, including Demycrol and Liberonol, and still waiting for hope and change?

If you answered yes to all three questions, then do we have news for you. A newly discovered cure, called Bernium, is now available in 22 states yet to vote! This wonder-drug is a cure for all of the aches and pains you might feel about a curropt, duopolic society. It has been proven highly effective against corporatisis, prisonmaniasis, immigrant phobia, inequiliosis, and even environlootia.

The Berniebell plant was discovered by scientists in April of last year and after thorough testing and research, the most knowledgeable physicians, like Dr. Cornel West, have declared it revolutionary. Berniebell is thought to be a cross between four different species of rare daisy plants and it flourished during the 1960's counterculture. Eventually, it found a home in rural Vermont where its progressive roots could grow while not being corrupted by more agressive Democryl plants that have wreaked havoc in other parts of the country and drove many endangered species of progressive plants to virtual extinction. This rare plant produces an antibiotic compound, called Bernium, that scientists were able to purify through reverse in vitro crystallization. It is now being mass produced and sold in voting polls across the country. However, it is available only in the next few months so get it while supplies last!

Yes, we understand it is hard to change to something better, like Bernium, when you can keep taking the name-brand Demycrol and its more generic form Clintlantus. But using the same medication over and over does not make the symptoms go away. Instead, it makes the symptoms become worse and worse (like what we have seen in the past 40 years). People have to understand that the Clintlantus pill is outdated and very susceptible to corporate viruses and market bacteria. It will not be able to attack corporate viruses because it itself is beholden to those same corporate viruses. Bernium, on the other hand, has lost its Superpac binding factors that are necessary for corporate viruses to endanger the rational cells in the body. Thus it can make the right decisions about regime change (Iraq, Libya), trade agreements (Panama Papers, TPP, NAFTA), and the environment (Keystone).

All physicians and scientists understand that you cannot treat the symptoms until you treat the cause of those symptoms. Corporatisis, prisonmaniasis, immigrant phobia, inequiliosis, and environlootia are all caused by Donoratia. So first we have to get rid of the Donoratium bacterium. That's why Bernium, which has, through multiple point mutations, lost its Superpac binding factors, is fast-acting to ending Donoratia. After only 4 minutes of ingesting, Bernium destroys the cell wall and outer membrane of the Donoratium bacterium, allowing the body's own white blood cells to destroy the remaining corporate viruses and market bacteria.

However, Bernium can only succeed if it saves New York and California from the destruction of the Clintlantus pill. Polls show that Bernium is now only 10 points behind and if people keep phone banking and contributing, Bernium will be able to stop Demycrol and Liberonol from vanquishing the progressive movement once and for all.

Phone bank in New York Now!