BERTIE: Touch of indigestion, Jeeves?
JEEVES: No, Sir.
BERTIE: Then why is your tummy rumbling?
JEEVES: Pardon me, Sir, the noise to which you allude does not emanate from my interior but from that animal that has just joined us.
BERTIE: Animal? What animal?
JEEVES: A bear, Sir. If you will turn your head, you will observe that a bear is standing in your immediate rear inspecting you in a somewhat menacing manner.
BERTIE (as narrator): I pivoted the loaf. The honest fellow was perfectly correct. It was a bear. And not a small bear, either. One of the large economy size. Its eye was bleak and it gnashed a tooth or two, and I could see at a g. that it was going to be difficult for me to find a formula. "Advise me, Jeeves," I yipped. "What do I do for the best?"
JEEVES: I fancy it might be judicious if you were to make an exit, Sir.
BERTIE (narrator): No sooner s. than d. I streaked for the horizon, closely followed across country by the dumb chum. And that, boys and girls, is how your grandfather clipped six seconds off Roger Bannister's mile. ~ P.G. Wodehouse

Good Morning,

Welcome to Tuesday’s Open Thread. Well, as much as I wanted to, turns out keeping that campfire spirit alive this week was next to impossible. To begin with, I got into an argument with my Sister and said some hurtful things I regretted. I impatiently told a customer I didn’t want to know how many body bags our government was procuring, and yet he told me anyway. I ran across a mutilated raccoon in my garden. I found out which of my friends I could not depend on in a mutilated raccoon crisis. I discovered my drivers license expired over a year ago. And I went to work everyday where facing anxious customers was more distracting than facing a killer virus. Oy vey! Reminds me of a story where this boy finds a bear in his bed but his parents don't believe him. Except in this case, everyone finds a bear in their bed, and no one wants to believe it.

The Bending Arc of Justice

Depending on my mood, which changes hour by hour these days, movie selections have covered a wide swath in terms of genre. Last week I was caught up in a Korean historical drama that was somber and beautiful. This week I watched Gladiator which was somber and unbeautiful. Yet, what struck me most in that movie was a scene where Russell Crowe's character prepares for battle. We see him put on his gear and then walk through a door into the arena, the piercing sun blinding him as he tries to focus on the threat in front of him. Seated in the stands watching the two gladiators decide who makes it out alive, are the Roman elite looking for a bit of entertainment, snacking on grapes while human body parts rot in the sun down below. Although a bit melodramatic as far as metaphors go, I can't help wondering what it must look like for nurses and doctors trying to stay alive while the rich and powerful can't be bothered to invest in worker's protection because they are too busy enriching their own bank accounts. Which prompts me to ask aloud if the labor issues that are usually relegated to buzzing noises in the consciousness of the electorate will finally be recognized as the human rights issues they actually are? Will the argument over single payer health care finally be settled? Will politicians be held accountable at the ballot box for the grand theft they are committing on the taxpayers dime? Will any of us ever be the same after this? Sadly, I fear I won't be comforted by the answers. Anyone have a movie suggestion for that?

Reports of My Demise Are Greatly Exaggerated

A few days ago, a customer came up to me and asked me if I was "okay". Seeing the perplexed look on my face, she mentioned that our company was getting a lot of press and she wanted to know if we were being taken care of. I couldn't fathom what conversation she imagined I was willing to have with her about labor issues on the floor where I worked, or how comfortable she thought I would feel talking about my concerns to a total stranger. At the time, what I really wanted to say to her was that having uneccesary conversations with crew members was putting us all at risk, but instead I said something much more polite. It shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone what the media likes to do. So, please take what you hear with a grain of salt. Truth is, reports of widespread dissatisfaction among fellow employees are being greatly exaggerated. Yes, there were issues in the beginning that were raised, which the company has addressed, both with stricter safety measures, extended benefits and increased wages. Yes, many of us are suffering from a battlefield like fatigue, which also extends to management who are working alongside of us, and measures to address that are in place as well. But at the end of the day, I'm glad I have a job and medical insurance right now when a lot of people have neither.

While it feels like this has been going on for years, it's only been a few weeks, and in that time so much has changed. One of the difficulties of working during this crazy time, apart from the extra burden of adhering to all the new safety protocols and the stress of dealing with customers who are stressed out themselves, is not knowing when this will all end. Sometimes though, a time out from the crisis comes unexpectedly and you take your relief where you can get it. One evening, while we were waiting for the delivery truck, our manager decided to play a game by turning one of the empty pallets over, giving us a bag of beans and a challenge to hit one of the holes. Winners were given gift cards, while losers were given a bag of jelly beans, and nobody was thinking about the virus. Another evening, a crew member suggested an impromptu fashion show down the frozen food aisle where we showed off our new Hawaiian style masks, complete with one of the managers acting as the runway announcer. We giggled and acted goofy, and for a little while, it felt like old times. We've always been a close knit group in our store, socializing together and seeing each other as friends and extended family. And thankfully, for many of us, this crisis has only tightened that bond.

To Kibitz, or Not To Kibitz

People have always felt comfortable talking to crew members in our store, sharing stories and having a good laugh. We enjoy it too. So, for everyone who has expressed their appreciation for the service we are providing right now, I really do get where the sentiment is coming from. And under different circumstances, I might even want to have one of our friendly trademark chats with you about it. Unfortunately, these aren't ordinary times and how consumers interact with workers can make a difference. How can the consumer make a difference? Easy. By limiting the talking. Right now we are just trying to move people through as quickly as possible for their own safety and the safety of others. So, let's not risk infecting anyone by standing in front of them chit-chatting. Yes, we are all glad how much you enjoy our orange chicken, the great deal you got on that case of wine, and how you probably shouldn't be buying those sour cream donuts for later. But in case you didn't notice, we are all standing here wearing gloves and masks for a reason. I know the media is encouraging people to thank those of us working at grocery stores, and while your heart is in the right place, there's really no need to tell us how concerned you are, or how grateful you are, or how much you admire the sacrifices we are making for our community. Want to help? Then thank us with a smile and get back home safely. Even with the mask, we'll see the appreciation in your eyes.