Anger Triggers Vol. 1: Unemployment
I think the best way to deal with anger, or at the very least, one of them, is to write about it, so I think I'll start a new series and see how it goes.
There are a lot of things that trigger anger for me but I thought I'd start with the most obvious.
About 12 and a half years ago I reached a breaking point. I couldn't hold down a job to save my life either due to conflicts with managers or disabilities making jobs incredibly difficult, so with my grandmother's help, I entered college. Initially I was skeptical but I did relatively well all things considered (3.2 GPA by the time I finished 2 degrees). But even after all the work I put in, I still find myself unable to break the glass floor.
I spent the past six years working with Voc Rehab and their vendors to find a job of some kind where my skills could be useful and even learn some new ones. Yet the best they could muster was two short stints of supported employment with no chance to hire due to lack of drivers' license (They say it's for an additional level of security, but you could get that with state IDs). I worked with several specialists, put in hundreds of resumes, only 5 interviews, no call backs and no jobs. Maybe dkmich is right. They want the cream of the crop to flip burgers and clean toilets. In our case, they just want us to disappear when the cameras go away and the free money dries up.
In that time, technology has changed somewhat. I still know the basics of the coding I learned but some of the processes and tags have changed (Thank you very much Oracle 18c and HTML5). Since my skills have basically languished, I feel like I have to start all over again.
I'm at the point where I may just give up on employment entirely, if only for the preservation of my own sanity and so I won't lash out at those I love. I'm completely bereft of the will to even try to make a living. I'll admit freelancing is tempting, but I doubt I have the skills to make a living from doing so.
P.S.: The other reason this triggers me so much is that whether or not we have a job or are making money literally defines us as a culture. We're literally seen as total losers unless we're doing so. Yet we're denied both if only for the sake of keeping a picture perfect, lilly white image.
Comments
Have you considered volunteer work? Are you able to volunteer
your individual skills.
In my experience, the volunteer work that I do has been the most satisfying of all my work experiences. My work is deeply appreciated, and I don’t have to deal with the complexities of paid employment.
wouldn't that mean you can afford to do volunteer work
because of some sort of income you have or had or saved up in the past etc.?
I just was wondering how I could recommend to do volunteer (ie unpaid work) to my son, who has at times his own anger problems? At least with the low hourly wages he makes he can pay for food and gas to get to his work places. What he can't do is paying crazy rents in an insane world where property owners seem to believe that they are the only ones who need a place to live.
I mean I am just grateful that he hasn't given up to look for work at all and has not given up to the point to destroy himself with that Hopium stuff or those liquids that make you fall asleep and gives you headaches next day of with those things you inhale to lose all your decision making capabilities.
I could do volunteer work, but I was spared in my life to have that much traume that I have serious anger problems.
So ... now what?
https://www.euronews.com/live
Hi mimi
I mentioned volunteering to Mike because I thought that until he found paid employment he might find some value in volunteer work. It can provide a sense of purpose while seeking paid employment, and diminish the frustration involved. Offering support to others in need can be mutually beneficial.
I hope things improve in time for your son.
you are certainly right, I had just my
'anger problem' to take care of itself by ranting a bit about your suggestion. Because I believe that most people who have 'anger management problems' have it not only for one specific trauma they experienced. Most have multiple trauma experiences they can't cope with or can't get over easily.
And frankly quite some anger problems are caused by real political or social issues that the society has failed to solve. I think you must have experienced them over and over to develop an 'anger problem'.
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I don't care
what it is that angers you. I'm sure just reading the first three words of my post can set some off.
But I just don't care what it is. What's important, is that you see an issue that you wish to resolve. Understanding that is the first step in the marathon you face.
Never stop and never give up.
This hugs for you.
[video:https://youtu.be/VjEq-r2agqc]
Regardless of the path in life I chose, I realize it's always forward, never straight.
I do not think that sugar coating with
that kind of music is going to do the job for those, who are sick and tired of not giving up.
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Sugar coating
is what trix are good for.
Regardless of the path in life I chose, I realize it's always forward, never straight.
sorry if my words offended you, I don't understand
your answer. What is 'trix'? Do you mean a sweet or something?
ok. To be honest, I often text my son to not give up. So I guess I deserve your answer.
https://www.euronews.com/live
Trix is a kids cereal. Nothing but sugar.
[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUIYYx2n1bI]
Modern education is little more than toeing the line for the capitalist pigs.
Guerrilla Liberalism won't liberate the US or the world from the iron fist of capital.
This is why Trump is President
America leads the world in selling bullshit with our advanced advertising and PR industry. We are the best liars. #Merica, f**k yeah.
Beware the bullshit factories.
Ain't it the truth?
Modern education is little more than toeing the line for the capitalist pigs.
Guerrilla Liberalism won't liberate the US or the world from the iron fist of capital.
My experience is that identifying things about a situation
for which I can feel genuinely grateful helps me, as does finding humor in otherwise trying situations.
Cloying, maybe, but true (for me). https://caucus99percent.com/content/gratitude-and-laughter
Thanks for re-posting your essay,
for both the refreshing reminder of the value of gratitude, and for the humour.
That scene from “When Harry Met Sally” has to be one of the all-time funniest film scenes, especially the line … “I’ll have what she’s having”
These scenes from "Nothing to Lose" always make me laugh ...
"You must be really fast" ...
[video:https://youtu.be/j4X7Wv70404]
[video:https://youtu.be/2XEanIUhJ4M]
I agree with you on the line of
'I'll have what she is having' to be the funniest scene in that. Made me laugh. I remember having seen that movie at the time it came out. But you know when the movie was made? 1989. Pre-9/11 and pre-Iraq war etc.
To me that is a time bygone, in its innocence of people believing into some sort of good of the human spirit.
You really think today somebody would care about that kind of humor other than having a short sad smile about it?
Well, I have to force myself to find it helpful to go back in times and get something out of well made scripts in well played hollywood movie szenes. Just saying.
Reminds me of a better known therapist on a well known beautiful island, that happens to be populated by the very rich, the very artistic gifted and the very broken (mostly veteran) ones and the very poor indigineous people watching whats happeing in their neighborhood that used to be their homeland.
Once in a while that therapist must have thought he has to do more than his usual therapy session for the vets. So, he organized on his compound big barbeque parties and invited all the vets to enjoy themselves and fed them with nice food for free. My son happened to be there without really knowing about that therapist and what that party was all about. In addition the therapist offered his guests some CDs with 'soothing music' they were offered to listen to for 'relaxing over the trauma and problems they had'.
When my son showed me the CDs when he came back, I asked 'and that should do it'? My son just had a little slightly dismissive laugh and said 'yeah, apparently, that is what the therapist believes. May be it helps him to calm down his own feeling of guilt to not having a real solution to offer'.
ok, so much for that, I don't want to think about it anymore. You know what kind of humor really helped me lately?
JtC's comment, which I can't find, it was something about him not banging the hell out of the behind of a critter in his garden, who ate all his beans, in the wood shack, but putting the critter calmly in his neighor'r garden to eat the beans of his neighbor and not his.
I try to get rid of a sweet little deer in my sister's garden, because it eats up all the flowers, but my sister needs the little deer for her emotional balance. It is so cute, you know.
Heck, life gives you always so difficult decisions to make. Darn in.
Peace and smiles to you.
https://www.euronews.com/live
Peace and smiles to you too mimi
... my kisses can fly around the world ...
https://www.euronews.com/live
Received!
Mwah
JtC's comment
spelling corrected
https://caucus99percent.com/comment/358969#comment-358969
"US govt/military = bad. Russian govt/military = bad. Any politician wanting power = bad. Anyone wielding power = bad." --Shahryar
"All power corrupts absolutely!" -- thanatokephaloides
thx ... smile to you ... /nt
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I don't remember if the essay that I linked mentioned this and
I am too lazy to check, so please excuse any repetition:
Billy Crystal suggested the line, which was not in the original script. It was spoken by Rob Reiner's mom (Carl Reiner's wife), who makes a cameo in RR's films, much as Alfred Hitchcock made a cameo in each of his own films. While her cameoes are usually low profile--more of a Hollywood in joke than anything else--this one made a splash one of the ten most famous (US?) film lines of 1989 and one of the 100 best (US?) film lines of all time.
FYI, Janis, I am always grateful for your posts, be they musical, photographic, comical or otherwise informative--just all of them, really.
ditto for what you said to janis b /nt
https://www.euronews.com/live
That's an interesting fact.
It's a favourite line of my mom's as well, who is a contemporary of Rob Reiner's mom.
Nothing like mutual appreciation! I'm glad to read you posting again.
[video:https://youtu.be/-lpNoNpn3UQ]
Anger is helpful
At least to get the creative juices running. Satiating over sanity, valuing self worth over stature in the hierarchy are positive reactions to the destructive spirit drains which are being pawned off as opportunity these days.Try to channel some of that anger into constructive problem solving using art, craft, music, gardening, helping others, create a shared space to help others express their own version of hell. Maybe if enough stories can be heard, the isolation will transform into mutual understanding?
question everything
I wish I could offer a concrete solution
...but I'm empty handed. Do you qualify for disability? If so, maybe you could use your skills to create something you feel is of value...the hell with working for others. If not, have you applied? There are lawyers around here that seem to get marginally disabled people on the dole. It is a hassle and can take a year or more, but could provide income.
We tend to tie our self worth to our work positions and possessions. However, our value as human beings is deeper and more profound. Value yourself, treasure your talents, and hold tight to those who love you. Wishing you peace and contentment!
“Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”
I tried numerous times before college.
I was denied 10 times in five years. Even had a lawyer for one appeal that took nearly 2 years and still got denied despite having a strong case. Wrote letters to senators and congressmen, too. And even with all that, the pigs still wouldn't budge.
Modern education is little more than toeing the line for the capitalist pigs.
Guerrilla Liberalism won't liberate the US or the world from the iron fist of capital.
Try for SSI
It's easier to get on for some reason and you don't have to go before a judge or get a lawyer unless you're turned down. I don't qualify for SSDI because I didn't have enough work credits because of the amount of time I was off work when comp d*cked around with my case and kept refusing treatment. But SSI does take into account how many assets and money you have so there's that. But it's worth looking into. You said that your foot drop has gotten worse, but maybe your other disabilities are enough for you to qualify.
Can you find a hobby that brings enjoyment? I do photography, but can't travel to where I want to for now, but I see something to photograph most days at the place I walk. I also do bonsai in large pots because I don't have the environment here to use the small pots. But someday .... Find something that brings you joy and keeps you from focusing on yourself. Talk to a behavioral therapist who can give you other ideas for managing your anger.
Do you have or can you get an pet? Taking care of my dawgs gives me something else to focus on instead of just my needs. I don't give a rat's ass if people think that I can work and I'm just sucking off the system. I don't owe anyone an explanation for why I'm not. None of their business.
Have you tried yoga? You can set your own pace and do what positions you can and that might be enough to get your endorphins going.
Scientists are concerned that conspiracy theories may die out if they keep coming true at the current alarming rate.
I actually own a cat and we just recently got a kitten.
Modern education is little more than toeing the line for the capitalist pigs.
Guerrilla Liberalism won't liberate the US or the world from the iron fist of capital.
No, you don't "own a cat".
The cats own you. You should know that by now.
[video:https://youtu.be/w0ffwDYo00Q]
[video:https://youtu.be/7oZu3-PU6KA]
"US govt/military = bad. Russian govt/military = bad. Any politician wanting power = bad. Anyone wielding power = bad." --Shahryar
"All power corrupts absolutely!" -- thanatokephaloides
If only I could do something like that.
Sadly I can't draw and I don't have the hardware for voice acting.
Modern education is little more than toeing the line for the capitalist pigs.
Guerrilla Liberalism won't liberate the US or the world from the iron fist of capital.
Simon Tofield is a flat-out genius.
Me either. But please do not be discouraged because you can't produce the likes of Simon's Cat! Simon Tofield is an animational genius, the likes of which we haven't seen since the Master, Chuck Jones, left us in 2002. Like Jones, Tofield knows how to organize his fellow geniuses to greatest effect to produce the greatest impact on his audiences. Simon's Cat is definitely NOT an individual effort!
So just watch the 'toons and laugh at the antics; if you dwell with cats, you'll recognize many right off the bat. Of course, my Rufus kitty is Simon's Cat, so I find the 'toons gut-bustingly hilarious!
And it was that laughter I was trying to share with another cat custodian!
"US govt/military = bad. Russian govt/military = bad. Any politician wanting power = bad. Anyone wielding power = bad." --Shahryar
"All power corrupts absolutely!" -- thanatokephaloides
They want you to be 21 with a PhD from Harvard.
You have a disability, a spotty work history, and your age all working against you. They can deny you employment but don't let them deny you peace with yourself and your family. This is not your fault. I know you feel like a failure, but you aren't. I can't tell you how many older dislocated workers without disabilities that I've sat across from who are just devastated because they can't find new employment. They lost their jobs, income, homes, and often their spouses from the stress, and they feel angry and guilty as hell.
I think one of the hardest fields nowadays to break into for retrained workers is computers. They don't want anyone accessing their hardware or data that can't hit the ground running. What about skilled trades? Union apprenticeship programs in your area? You can make a living as an independent contractor in skilled trades. I know you have a college degree and are trained, and you don't want to change fields again. But.... if you need money go get ajob as a flag man on a construction site. Change your pov and strategy because you've got nothing to lose by giving up either. Throw you fate to the winds, go on a job seeking adventure and everytime you avoid food service and/or minimum wage, consider it a good place to be until you make your next move. Most life-long working careers evolve. Unless you go to med school, law school, pass the CPA/Actuarial exams, most people don't have a clue what they will do after they graduate.
Here is how nuts the whole job market, job training, employment shortage bullshit is.
https://www.dol.gov/apprenticeship/
USDOL's Apprenticeship homepage boasts in headlines on the top of the page.....
"Employers Have Hired Over 307,000 Apprentices Since January 1, 2017. "
Huge skill and employee skill shortage and nationwide all they got hired was 307,000?
You are not the problem. The problem is the employer.
"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."--Napoleon
"They want you to be 21 with a PhD from Harvard. " Yes, and
to somehow also have at least five to ten years of work experience that is very specific to the position they are seeking to fill and for which they offer peanuts as compensation.
That's what happens when job seekers exceed the number of jobs and/or expect compensation that is even marginally commensurate with the employer's expectations of the prospective employee.
Love those trade agreements! Love the high tech employers and politicians who lie about the availability of people already in the US with the skills to do the job, when the reality has to do with the level of compensation the billionaire high tech companies are willing to pay.
Yep, you guessed it: Hillary is among the politicians who pretended to believe the employers' claims of lack of people already in this country with the skills to do the job. Sanders is not, so lying Dembots falsely accuse him of being anti-immigrant--which at least seems to fly with those seemingly incapable of making even marginally intelligent distinctions.
[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6b0ftfKFEJg]
Yup.
They want a 20 year-old with the drive of a 30 year-old and the experience of a 50 year-old to take the wages of a teenager and like it. And sadly, far too many seem all too willing to go along with that.
My mother-in-law sends me feel good stories of big business actually letting disabled folks have a taste of office life, if only for the cameras and free labor they might get out of it for a time.
Modern education is little more than toeing the line for the capitalist pigs.
Guerrilla Liberalism won't liberate the US or the world from the iron fist of capital.