Exhaustion Sucks
Emotional, mental and physical exhaustion are all I seem to have been acquainted with over the last six years. I put in a lot of work to overcome my disabilities in terms of employment and long-term unemployment and abject boredom/lack of any stability and routine with no hope of escape or relief are the thanks I get for my trouble. If you don't think this shit can exhaust someone, I've got a bridge to sell you.
It's easy to judge someone in my position as lazy or not trying hard enough, and trust me, America often does due in part to the fact that for this shithole we call a first world empire, wealth often equals success/intelligence even when the person who possesses said wealth has achieved neither or did so on the backs of everyone and everything else around them (the current bourgeoisie come to mind). And those same assholes are blaming their kids and grandkids for killing everything even though we never had so much as a vote on it, but I digress.
What's got me angry this time? The fact that I might have to get a degree in something I'm no good at (I already tried that with graphic design, believe it or not. Ya gotta be good with propaganda to make a living in that.) or even worse, outright hate. I already told you how I feel about business and I stand by it. But hey, that's just how it works in our system. Ya can't go for what you enjoy, you have to go for what makes money, and in my case, since I lived in a hollowed-out area that's little more than retired people, I can do neither.
I challenge any able-bodied person to live as many of us do for a while, if only for a little perspective. That's wishful thinking, of course, but one can dream.
Comments
Witness.
That’s all I got, Man. Opposite sides of the country and broke as well. Not much help, I know.
Ya got to be a Spirit, cain't be no Ghost. . .
Explain Bldg #7. . . still waiting. . .
If you’ve ever wondered whether you would have complied in 1930’s Germany,
Now you know. . .
sign at protest march
I got the "Cadillac Queen" treatment yesterday
at the grocery store. I had already swiped my EBT card and since I bought a non food item I knew that I had to pay cash for it. So I'm waiting for her to tell me how much I owed and she just kept repeating the total price while people were waiting for me to finish. She finally said loudly, "oh I didn't see that you already used your food stamps card, it's $$$$$"" Then she asked if "I needed help out" . It wasn't until I was leaving the store when it clicked that she didn't think I looked disabled and was trying to shame me in front of others for receiving food stamps. I wanted to go back say to her that "you have no effing idea how much pain I'm in right now, you effing b*tch!".
I don't think that I or anyone should have to show any outward sign that I'm disabled or in pain just so it looks like it's okay that I'm receiving food stamps. First off it's non of their business and secondly if I have to limp or change my posture so it does look like I'm disabled it would cause even more pain because it throws the body out of wack. I try to walk every day regardless of the pain level and even during the winter because it keeps my condition from getting worse and I would lose even more strength in the leg that has nerve damage that I'd end up not being able to walk at all. I feel like crap when I get home, but when I'm out walking I try to find the joy and the beauty of the world. Or watch the dawgs having fun.
So I know how it feels when people judge you without a clue about what your life is like. I'd love to be able to go back to work doing the job that I trained myself to do and loved with a passion. But thems not the cards I was dealt.
Scientists are concerned that conspiracy theories may die out if they keep coming true at the current alarming rate.
Yup. I hurt like hell too.
And when I go shoe shooping I always have to get my left shoe raised by 5/8 of an inch. It does help somewhat, but I also wear a brace for drop foot.
Modern education is little more than toeing the line for the capitalist pigs.
Guerrilla Liberalism won't liberate the US or the world from the iron fist of capital.
Only if Pele speaks in your frontyard
people start to understand the pain of their fellow neighbors. It is sad, but I have not had many experiences which would disprove of our lack of empathy and compassion and understanding.
In Hawaii an End of Innocence
Pele is seen also as a creator and that I hope can give you hope. Hugs.
https://www.euronews.com/live
A good and righteous rant
Most people won't stop judging until they experience what you describe, and they find the society they used to be a part of rejects their need. They WILL be in that place at some point in their lives. You asked for no advice, but be wary of doing something you hate. The only thing worse is being told that you're no longer needed to do it, and there's no other job in that field. Don't let the anger turn into a bonfire. There is a mind and body connection. You can die of brain cancer and you can also die from a broken heart. You're right, most won't understand your life. You're a fighter, not a loser. You prove that day after day. Many would have given up long ago.
Good morning, Aspie. Empathy is in shockingly short supply
in the US. We have a system founded on competition among ourselves which is in part based on jealousy (or envy) and also kindles and foments jealousy (or envy). I know otherwise generally good people who are truly deeply offended at the idea that somebody might get something for free that they had to pay for, or that somebody might a special discount, etc. Since earliest childhood we are taught that such things are cheating, sluffing, freeloading, etc. and are taught, as well, to be envious as all hell of the recipients.
No matter how much I think of all the ways to amend and alter the system, one thing that I cannot get around is this ingrained visceral envy, taught and pushed by all of our media and institutions from earliest childhood on. WTF, really "The Grasshopper and The Ant", read to pre-literate sentient beings, for just one example. That is something we all need to focus on and overcome.
That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --