How Insane Are Job Postings? Let Me Demonstrate.

This one is particularly laughable because they want a Bachelor's Degree in Business Admin. or HR before they'll even consider talking to you.

I. Overview
The Administrative Assistant will provide to support to the Human Resources and Accounting Departments by efficiently performing routine clerical and administrative functions such as processing timesheets, data collection, data entry, organizing and maintaining all files, managing office and facility supplies, handling phones, incoming/outgoing mail tasks, and any general office duties as assigned.

II. Responsibilities
Timesheets Management & Processing:

Compile/manage weekly timesheets and payroll data by verifying and entering hours.
Corresponding with consultants and recruiters, as needed.
Ensure that timesheets are approved in the method specified by the client.
Address timesheet approval and submittal issues.

Front Desk Management:

Transfer incoming calls and voicemails to appropriate individuals from the reception line.
Address, meter and manage incoming/outgoing mail.
Operate office equipment, such as fax machines, copiers and phone systems.

Supply Inventory Maintenance:

Order and maintain inventory of office and facility supplies for the organization.
Arrange and schedule repairs with vendors.

III. Basic Qualifications

Proficient in MS Office Suite (MS Access, MS Excel, MS Word & MS Outlook)
Ability to handle high volume, ongoing and repetitive tasks
Must have excellent interpersonal skills, personal integrity and the ability to multitask
Strong attention to detail, organizational efforts and desire to follow procedures
Open, honest and empathetic manner when dealing with people
Exceptional time management skills
Ability to complete a background check successfully

IV. Preferred Attributes, Capabilities, Skills and Experience

Must be a highly motivated self-starter with ability to work independently, as well as in a collaborative environment

Able to perform tasks successfully with minimum guidance under short timelines, and must have the ability to manage shifting work priorities

Responsiveness, flexibility, organization, and attention to detail are a must

Excellent communication and writing skills

Ability to respect and ensure strict confidentiality of all data

V. Education
A Bachelors Degree from an accredited college or university in Business Administration, Human Resources, or related field of study.

Job Type: Full-time

Really, a Bachelor's for a job that requires minimal training at best? For a job that likely isn't permanent?

Or, some are incredibly vague but want "1 year" experience in the position being applied to.

Medical front desk employee needed in Pediatric and Internal Medicine office. Job duties include but are not limited to greeting patients, answering phones, scheduling and confirming appointments, posting daily charges, and collecting payments. requirements include medical insurance/ billing experience as well as experience with EMR.

Job Type: Full-time


Medical Receptionist: 1 year

This is just one of many ways 'Murica is eating its young alive, when we're being told we'll never be good enough, man enough, tough enough or just plain __________________ enough for anything. Assholes.

5 users have voted.


They want a clerk typist but they put a poison pill requirement in so that they can say they advertised but there were no qualified applicants. Then they can get their H1-B visa approved. Usually they do this for programmers and engineers. It's unusual for a clerk. Probably a relative so this is a way to get a her over. Later she acquires an anchor baby and gets a permanent green card. Been that way for about twenty years.

5 users have voted.
The Aspie Corner's picture

@The Voice In the Wilderness @The Voice In the Wilderness Not only is it used to keep American workers out of tech jobs, but the software companies make mountains of money off the tests and materials for said tests to boot.

Edit to add: The bosses will often say it's about staying current with tech and such, but has it really changed that much, even in the last few years? No. Other than fancier splash screens and bulkier menus, the architecture of, say, Windows is still largely the same. Ditto with Adobe, MS Office, etc.

5 users have voted.

Modern education is little more than toeing the line for the capitalist pigs.

Guerrilla Liberalism won't liberate the US or the world from the iron fist of capital.

edg's picture

@The Aspie Corner

The Cloud!! DevOps!! ITSM!! ICO!! Blockchain!! [Insert latest buzzword of the week here]!!

4 users have voted.
The Aspie Corner's picture

@edg I'd say about the only thing that's really changed in 20 years is storage technology..that, and maybe the internet has much larger bandwidth.

3 users have voted.

Modern education is little more than toeing the line for the capitalist pigs.

Guerrilla Liberalism won't liberate the US or the world from the iron fist of capital.

Amanda Matthews's picture

that ‘required’ a BA. My Paralegal degree wasn’t good enough.

There are so many people out there with degrees that are unemployed that businesses can make ridiculous demands for ANY position.

True story: I was talking to an older guy (but still quite a bit younger than me) at the grocery store who was stocking shelves a couple years ago. I asked him where a particular item had been moved to (they play hide-and-seek with their wares) and I commented on the fact that prices had gone up quite a bit. One thing led to another and eventually the conversation ended up me mentioning that I was looking for work and had a Associates Degree as a Paralegal with honors and had interned for 6 months with the ACLU. He laughed and told me he had a PhD in marine biology.

Go figure.

EDIT: tears/years

9 users have voted.

I'm tired of this back-slapping "Isn't humanity neat?" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes, okay? That's all we are. - Bill Hicks

Politics is the entertainment branch of industry. - Frank Zappa

The Aspie Corner's picture

@Amanda Matthews ...even many fast food restaurants. And ivory tower economic royalists are wondering why teenagers aren't employed. Dickheads.

5 users have voted.

Modern education is little more than toeing the line for the capitalist pigs.

Guerrilla Liberalism won't liberate the US or the world from the iron fist of capital.

edg's picture

Everybody knows that all Americans who want to be (slackers and Millenials not included) are fully employed (using carefully crafted and revised methodology) and we must, I say must, import workers from other countries (excellent Russian programmers and marketers who can turn an election with 3,000 Facebook posts unseen by anybody need not apply) to fill our desperate need for lower pay and fewer benefits and a more slave-like workforce.

6 users have voted.
Alphalop's picture

No wonder college degrees are so worthless anymore.

My advice to any young people that may see this is to tell college recruiters to go pound sand and go to trade school.

You'll come out with less (if any) debt and make more than your friends with 4 year degrees. (Particularly when you factor in the portion of their earnings that are offset by loan payments).

The only exception being if you're going into a few fields such as medical, some engineering, etc.

Save that money wasted on the college text book racket, it alone could probably cover your first work truck and tools.

If the economy collapses you'll be a lot better positioned to barter your skills as an electrician, carpenter or plumber than as a humanities major...

3 users have voted.

"I used to vote Republican & Democrat, I also used to shit my pants. Eventually I got smart enough to stop doing both things." -Me