Defender of the faith and once prominent neurosturgeon, Ben Carson has been appointed by the Drumpf administration to quell etymological improprieties in HHS communications.

According to well-placed sources certain words, terms, phrases, or ideas to be based on fact are at risk. For those too busy to read the link, I, being a medical type, will provide appropriate, theo-politically approved translations for those of you that might need further explanation.

Words / phrases to be excised, followed by their approved substitutes

vulnerable, replaced by "too weak to stand on their own two feet or fight back."

entitlement, replaced by "a scam for people who paid taxes and thought they were going to get something for it."

diversity, replaced by "associations with those who don't look like us".

evidence-based, replaced by "reported by anonymous sources".

science-based, replaced by "astrologically-verified".

transgender to be be replaced by "a person who doesn't know what underwear is suitable."

One word still evading acceptable translation is fetus. I think the acceptable terminology is teeny, tiny little person who is too weak to stand on its own two feet or fight back.

Those staffers who make the mistake of using the banned words will be reassigned to the U.S. Leprosarium.

The original source for this "reported by anonymous source (previously evidenced-based) is the WaPo, whose pay-wall I did not feed.

For those of you who worry about Dr. Carson's absence from HUD, never fear. Jared Kushner is being groomed as his successor. Jared's already got quite a reputation for evictions. Do not believe the rumors that Steve "Foreclosure King" Mnuchin will replace Jared--Steve likes to be close to money.