The Drugs that Work.
So, I find myself in the need to explain a few things about myself. I went kinda dark at The Other Place for a while because I was running into the problem where the only time I was getting positive feedback was when I did stories mocking those against Gun Control.
Ah, I was so much Older then, I'm Younger then than now. I knew so much about where I needed to be and where my PLACE should be.
[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FUGzwUTN80]
So instead of sticking to familiar and safe territory, today I'm going to talk about Drugs.
You see, about Eight Years ago (Has it been THAT long? Can't believe we're STILL there) I was in a province outside Baghdad called Diyala Province. It was a shithole, and we were getting blown up weekly. I saw what I like to refer to as a "Combat Action" and it pretty much did what they do to any human with a brain and a conscience. It fucked me up pretty bed. Screwed up shoulder (Which the VA only considers a 10% Disability, because PAIN can be worked through), and a messed up brain (Which they consider 70% Disability. And Honestly considering how often I have panic attacks, agitiation, etc, is pretty accurate.)
So They gave me drugs. Seratonin, Latuda, Lithium. The List of Emotional Blockers put out by big pharma that I've been subjected to in the hopes of "Curing" my condition grew pretty long while I was in California. There have been some Weird as hell diagnoses, like the one that while I may not be transgender, I have a Transgender brain, since I emotionally react in a matter that is more associated with females... At a certain point, you realize that the witch doctors of the civilian world have no idea what the hell they are doing with regards to healing the wounded soul.
Which is when a fellow student passed me a joint.
[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iH2tX0Q3U0o]
Now, it is NOT a cure-all, and anybody who claims instant world breaking results is probably a lying sack of shit. But it sure as hell had measurable, and realistic results. Panic and anxiety were numbed, which is a major factor in addressing the root causes of the same. Hostility and anger, the same. I stopped drinking (The MIC approved Solution, combined with Gladiatorial Contests) to the great delight of my kids, who claim I'm a better person.
So what does my low dose Indica do? Well, I use a hybrid blend but the primary ingredient is Blueberry Indica. It's got fairly low THC as compared to the vast majority of pot strains. It doesn't really mess with my head as much as it brings down my need awareness. I become keenly aware of things I need to do RIGHT NOW in order to feel better. Hungry? Eat. Tired? Sleep. Sad? Be Nice to my Kids, or play a game. I lose a lot of that severe fear that comes with the contemplation of future events that I have no control over. I spend much less money in order to make myself feel better, and instead just try to enjoy my life. (And Ironically enough, I've lost weight too.)
Do I recommend my blend to everyone with PTSD? Hell to the no. Everybody's got a different biochemistry, and it took me about 4 different strains before I found one that worked. Chronic of Narnia put me to sleep. Boss Hawg made me agitated and nervous, and Girl Scout Cookies just made me hack. I just am glad that I live in a state that has had the forsight to legalize recreational Marijuana. And that's the real trick. Finding the correct blend isn't a matter of just matching the symptoms, it also requires experimentation. The last thing I'd want to do is to go back and forth to a doctor to fine tune specific medications. If anything, it just made me feel WORSE. Curing mental disease is really as much an art as a science, and the pill pushers who want to reduce it to a chemical game ain't paying attention.
So, yeah. I'm a former NCO who smokes pot, writes, does a little stand up, and spends time with his kids. I enjoy all kinds of games, History and culture, and am happy to be in Portlandia. I have much less fear for the future and have hope which I lacked in my previous location. Here's hoping I can bring a little of my light to the dark places of politics.
Comments
Dude!
Sounds pretty good. Glad you are finding a good place.
"I’m a human being, first and foremost, and as such I’m for whoever and whatever benefits humanity as a whole.” —Malcolm X
The air change from California can not be believed.
Down there, you're a burden/stupid vet who needs to go get a job and stop whining.
Up here, you're a vet who needs some help getting back on their feet, and they'll do everything they can in order to help you.
People say it's worse than it used to be, and if that's the case, I wish I'd been here YEARS ago.
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
the drugs that work
are the psychedelics and the opiates. That have been used by humans for tens of thousands of years.
You should never have volunteered for the military.
[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A50lVLtSQik]
Hindsight is 20/20 on that one...
Of course, I did it to "Try" to keep my family together.
Didn't work out as planned. Lost the Wife, but got the kids. Got out with an honorable, and am severely glad of that.
Overall, it gave me a much better insight into the military, and both its good and bad factors. (But I came away with the knowledge that war is always evil, and must always be remembered as such)
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
the military
is about killing people and breaking things. There is no reason to go into it. In any country, on any planet.
There are no "good" factors about the military. It is about the cessation of life. It is anathema.
I both agree and disagree.
The military is a thing I am of two minds about.
On one hand, yes, War and violence are terrible things and must be avoided whenever possible. Treated like a surgery for a life threatening disease. Only when there is no other option, and should be done as quickly and painlessly as possible, with utmost care for the patient.
I feel the military should be the bulwark against those evil people who bully and kill, but must never BECOME those people. Sadly in the modern day, we have, absolutely become what we wanted to prevent. Did a whole diary on the reforms I feel we should make... IMHO War should be the last thing we use the military for, when there's so much GOOD a group of strong people can do if they can just build instead of tear down.
[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZr07AYWLSo]
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
B-b-but Robert A. Heinlein’s “only veterans deserve a vote” idea
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Starship_Troopers
That book was an exploration of his ideas...
And one that I vehemently disagree with.
Well crafted JUNIOR novel that set forth ideas very simplistically for a teenagers sense of justice. The world's a lot more complicated than portrayed in that book.
Heinlein is one of those authors I have a love/hate relationship with. I agree with him about as often as I completely disagree with him.
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
Half the time he's just playing with worlds and ideas,
so you can't always tell when you should take him seriously and when you should just shrug it off with "It's this way in this constructed world, but not necessarily in the real world".
He got beaten to the punch, in a lot of ways, by Andre Norton's Star Guard - which, if you're really familiar with classic literature, is basically Xenophon's Anabasis IN SPACE. She did not approve of "Military Terra", and let the reader know it in her usual subtly subversive way. And she also reached for an even more exotic ethnicity than Filipino - her viewpoint character is part-Maori and she says so right up front at the beginning. (This was four years before Starship Troopers, too.)
There is no justice. There can be no peace.
Well, I must admit that my political views...
for a long time were shaped by hard SF. I was a Larry Niven fan for a long time, until I realized he was just a jerk with pretty words.
As it is now, I'm back on my first true love from SF, Arthur C. Clarke. Incredibly hopeful for an author, even in his darkest works. Considering also that Clarke actually migrated to Ceylon in order to find a place that would let him live openly with his lover, he's a real inspiration for not living in fear.
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
Good for Clarke. The U.K. might have hounded him to suicide,
as it so ungratefully did with Alan Turing.
Yes, and No
The good things I got out of it, peacetime service, never saw combat at all, were many. The one thing that it really impressed upon me is not to leave anyone behind, and yes, to protect the weaker among us. Those lessons were invaluable to me, and in my selfish youth I didn't always like that having to go back and pick up the weaker one. But that in itself is not at all about killing and breaking things, it is about preserving them, most of all. And I earned my own self confidence there too - if I could make it through Basic Training and NOT quit, like I really fucking wanted to, that would be something. And I didn't quit, did my service and got a college education out of that. I can never replace that experience and it was really one of the best times of my life. But I did NOT have to go and kill, I got out right before Gulf One. That wasn't easy either though, as part of you feels so damned guilty for NOT going, for seeing others you care about have to go. That sucked. But I am glad I didn't have to do actual war, and glad my then husband didn't see combat action either. But if I would have had to go? I damned sure would have, and not to keep the US in power, but for those others who served with me and because I made a promise and signed a contract. They are who I would fight for.
Only a fool lets someone else tell him who his enemy is. Assata Shakur
Very glad you never had to see combat.
And peacetime service is the only kind I wish we could have. Always feel that the PTB overly use our military for things we have no business doing. And thanks for going through that hell for us all. (I never just say "Thanks for your Service", because I always feel like that cheapens it to a quick catchphrase. The "have a nice day" of social gratitude.)
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
I know a lot of military because of where I live
and I can honestly say that they are some of the finest people I know. Many are for war only as an absolutely last resort. I know some who are Bernie supporters and will never ever vote for Hillary because of her warmongering ways.
I really hate it when veterans get chewed up and spit out. And I've seen a lot of that also. It isn't right.
Never be deceived that the rich will allow you to vote away their wealth.-Lucy Parsons
Tick tock!
Thank you, I feel better.
At least I can "vote" for the words that resonate. Nice touch where the thumb only points up here. lol dysthimia! PTSD is on my list of diagnoses but I don't know why that is how FUBAR I am. Somebody shrunk it out of me at some point in "time", maybe some day if I get enough money I can "go back" and remember again. Hecate (heck ah tay) is all up in my head today with that time stuff. Peace.
Read a great book called "On Killing"
about how the wounds of war are deeper than anybody who's never experienced it can ever contemplate.
I honestly think by making a mental disease what is essentially a wound to the soul we've destroyed a great deal of the true horror of war.
War kills souls. (Just my opinion of course, but I cling to the scraps of mine that are left)
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
you do what works for you....
I'll never judge.....just wanted to throw this out against the wall to see if it sticks....
https://redpowermedia.wordpress.com/2016/02/18/soldiers-turn-to-native-a...
If you are interested, and find one out in your neck of the woods....make sure its not a for-pay type. With this stuff, you never pay to pray. Just that simple fact will help weed out some of the fraudsters.
You might however, help with firewood, and/or offer tobacco or sage to whomever is running it....
May peace and blessings continue to find you....I can never imagine what you've seen. I've heard enough from my cousin in the 101st who did a few tours over there.
Actually was mentioned in...
another book I read whose title momentarily escapes my mind.
And I saw enough of war to know that it must never be waged for profit, and those that do are a form of pure evil that the word can't even convey
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
That was my point in fighting to legalize.
I became involved in Washington medical marijuana When my husband was sick. I rather shocked that the local drug task force was pretty much preying on these folks busting into their houses taking their pot and arresting them. Not a single one was ever found guilty. They also never got their pot back. The stress from these repeated raids were incredibly negative on very sick people. I really didn't get why they were doing it and still don't.
In wondering how to put a stop to it, it occurred to me that they were a small rather isolated group easy prey. Legalization made the group larger also the issue became black and white. It's legal and no longer police business.
It is a compelling argument that caused a lot of people to vote to legalize.
Never mind that the crime wave they warned us about
never materialized.
Ah, drug warriors. They're just like the Chicken Hawks. Spouting talking points on matters they really know nothing about.
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
great to see you here.
Illinois finally passed a measly bullshit medical marijuana law, excluding some of the most trying medical issues, even chronic pain.
With our current governator, Bruce Rauner (A future GOP candidate for president, a billionaire, and a Scott Walker wannabe, except he is even more evil, sly, and polished than that wanker.) making positive changes to the law is nearly impossible. Rather than pass a budget, he is letting chicago schools go broke, he is fucking over our university system, elderly and people in serious medical conditions are seeing budgets slashed and care cut, AND far, far more. The idea of him having even a hydrogen atom's amount of empathy is so laughable, that - no, I won't go there.
By the way, Rauner and Rahm Emanuel used to be vacationing buddies, best of friends. Late last year, Rauner let it know that Clinton is his kind of politician (the kind that can be bought). Temporarily, Rauner and Rahm are pretending to have a spat, especially about all things budgetary. That's because Rahm truly fucked up with the the police murder of a teen, then covered it up, tried to bribe the family with a (secret) $5 mill settlement that would have required complete confidentiality about the terms, and allowed the Chicago PD to skate. That was too much, even for our lapdog city council, and ever since, Rahm has the same approval level as a pedophile seeking employment at a day care center.
Glad to be here.
Over at THE OTHER PLACE they really lost touch with the idea of community.
It's horrifying when they make an effective treatment essentially unusable. It's a standard Establishment tactic. "Why are you complaining? It's only seventeen flaming hoops that you have to jump through. And the Monowire only covers HALF of the last one!"
And pedophiles are a SORE subject with me because of my children's former social worker.
http://www.montereyherald.com/article/zz/20110730/NEWS/110739810
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
Yes, Ag, that's what PA is doing too!
The bill coming up for a vote originally had all the treatable conditions, then it went into a committee that had no doctors or experts on it, and came back out with something like fifteen approved illnesses, seemingly no rhyme or reason on how they chose them. In the year it's been crawling thru the house it's had something like 200 amendments stuck to it, and they keep telling us: just let them pass it, we'll work on fixing it after, smells like the ACA to me, PU.
I shave my legs with Occam's Razor~
After PA's stance on beer...
I'm honestly not surprised they're dragging their feet.
I swear, the rest of the country will be selling pre-rolls at gas stations before PA approves it for recreational, sold ONLY from licensed State Dispensaries.
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
Too true, man!
I live a block from the beer distributor, and a mile from the state store, lol. Alcohol doesn't mix with my meds, although my husband and pop find it convenient.
I shave my legs with Occam's Razor~
Actually totally gave it up
when I found that pot works far better. Promised my kids, and have been completely alcohol free for about 5 months now.
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
We've been fighting to legalize here in PA oh...forever.
the bill that's coming up for a vote next week leaves me out. I have two qualifying conditions that would get me a card anywhere else, but not in PA, stasis migraine and fibro, so as far as medical mj I'm SOL. I never got treatment for my PTSD, didn't even realize I had it until two years ago, trainwreck on the down low. But when you're on the down low you can't be too picky, you take what you can get. I'm lucky that I can get...but my state sucks, I should be able to get the strain that works best for me.
I shave my legs with Occam's Razor~
Sorry, I lived in PA for 2 years there...
Right before I joined The Other Place.
Yeah, I couldn't stand it either. You're absolutely right. And as I said, Pot strains aren't a freaking science, they're an art. People need to be able to sample, and experiment in order to find the right blend to match the particular shades on their mind/body.
I think it's one of the main reasons the pill pushers hate pot. You can't point to any ONE symptom and say "Take this for your problem!" It's much more holistic.
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
My deacon is very good to me.
When he has the option he'll pick my preference, he keeps me covered, and I know how lucky that makes me in a backwards state, but it's just bullshit that any state is still backwards. At this stage of the game, wtf?
I shave my legs with Occam's Razor~
Thanks.
Wow. There is so much pain, ALL around us ... but especially it seems in the massive "working class."
It's amazing how much pain lessens
when you let people know you have it. At least that's the way I feel about it.
Stoicism is IMHO, one of the greatest lies of philosophy.
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
I think various pains are a private thing
that no on else can understand unless they have experienced it and think you are credible (pain mental or physical). After a week of bizarre back pains that sent me to the ER finally, the Dr never even looked at my back and pre-Dxed me with presumptive pneumonia. The hospital sent me home. Next morning I could see the first blisters of Shingles. I wrote a complaint letter with names, that's all the relief I got from them.
OT-glad to see your handle over here. I lost track after your migration with kids. It sounds like you made the right relocation.
Hey! my dear friends or soon-to-be's, JtC could use the donations to keep this site functioning for those of us who can still see the life preserver or flotsam in the water.
I kinda tuned out after the migration.
It was getting very ugly over there and I felt like anything I had to say was going to be ignored or banned.
Sorry to hear about your pain problems. I seriously think we take pain FAR too casually in this country with our obsessions with "Addictions". Hell, food can be an "Addiction" if you want to play the definition game.
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
Thank you
Cried reading your writing, what courage. Thank you.
If you want to find a group of people who will join you in supporting the efficacy of pot - visit any hospital which offers chemotherapy.
In my case, breast cancer, and every woman I know, has used some kind of pot to deal with the side effects of chemotherapy. Don't know the blends, mostly whatever we could get here in MA. Or have friends get for us if we couldn't.
Be gentle with yourself, and please keep writing.
I'm flattered...
Honestly, I really always feel a bit embarrassed when people have emotional responses to my stuff. Maybe that's just because I feel like I'm just dumping stress out through my keyboard. (Plus I type at a blistering 70 WPM so it doesn't take me very much time. Course the actual writing process goes on for a few hours BEFORE I write... )
I'm really sorry to hear about the cancer. I had an aunt die from it, so I'm really happy you found something that works. As far as blends go, I find that self-education was practically mandatory. While the culture of "Stoners" is rife with good info, it also is wreathed in the shadows of legality, so as a result, GOOD information is often presented alongside Drug Warrior propaganda. What's even more ironic is that the widely held stereotypes about the 2 main species of Cannabis actually don't 100% hold up, so as a result, getting phenotypes right, etc is actually a lot more important than just the species. (Sorry, I actually was thinking of writing an article on this and tend to go off on the subject.)
I find that when I start writing I don't stop until something breaks me out of the habit, so I'm trying to write at least one article a day, before I send the kids to school. A good half hour of writing to start the day.
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.