Age Hit Me Like a Freight Train

Submitted by detroitmechworks on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 12:08am

So, where have I been? Thought about just commenting, but figured folks deserved a full explanation.

July 4 was BAD. I was freaking out and had my headphones on at full blast. Even my Cannabis didn't help. So... I woke up two days later with one of the worst ear infections I'd ever had. Was absolutely miserable, and it was all I could do to do 140 character tweets. Pain led to depression, and I ended up sleeping for several days.

Then, not one week later, I came down with Gout. BAD. Had to go to the hospital, and I thought I'd broken my foot somehow. I could not walk for almost 2 weeks, even with the prescription I got. Apparently it's genetic, and environmental factors are minimal. Considering I don't eat many purines, and stopped drinking completely, Dr. suggested it might also be linked to long-term damage to my kidneys, and had I ever been dehydrated for a long period?

Oh yah, I had. Iraq. But that's not OFFICIALLY linkable to my service, because it might be my fault for drinking so much in the service, so no, we can't reopen your disability claim on that, so sorry.

So, I spent a while recuperating. My kids were my angels, and went to the store by themselves, with the list, helped me hobble around, and generally made my life possible. I thought about coming on here, but was just too miserable, and didn't want to inflict it on my friends.

I've been very, very depressed. Have a far inferior prescription to the one I usually take, because the only place I could get to had crap. Plus, I had to fork over about a hundred bucks to the cab company because the VA doesn't provide same-day transportation, thanks to the VA budget cuts. 48 hour notice now, and it's at the DAV's convenience.

Apologies for ranting, but I felt you all deserved an explanation. I missed you guys, but, honestly, I'm VERY poor at self care when I'm depressed. I can live, but that's about it. Glad I made it through another bout, and I'll try to kick its ass again tomorrow.

Tags:

DMW

Personal

apology.

Vote

Comments

Submitted by Nightprowlkitty on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 12:27am

So sorry to hear of your troubles.

And thank you for sharing with us.

Glad to hear you have some angels in your life. The rest -- oy!

Wishing you better days to come.

—

Beat in the USA.

Submitted by detroitmechworks on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 12:28am

Thanks for hearing. I find troubles are best shared...

in hindsight. Less pressure on others to provide anything other than sympathy.

—

I do not pretend I know what I do not know.

Submitted by Nightprowlkitty on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 12:35am

You are very wise.

And very kind.

—

Beat in the USA.

Submitted by Steven D on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 12:44am

Thinking of you right this minute

Know if you ever need anything from me just send me a message & I will do whatever I can. Been down some similar roads. Keep on keepin on.

Luv,

Steve

—

"You can't just leave those who created the problem in charge of the solution."---Tyree Scott

Submitted by detroitmechworks on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 12:50am

Appreciate it... I binge watched a few cartoons...

And let the kids on my computer for a few days. Now they desperately want to build their own too.

Win win, but at the same time, getting the parts together depends half on luck and half on getting out.

—

I do not pretend I know what I do not know.

Submitted by riverlover on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 2:31am

Gout is a bad one.

Was a low protein diet suggested? Late husband had several attacks, even with whatever cheap drug was given to reduce symptoms. Allopurinol, is that it? want to go rest your feet in a cool stream? Damn. Best to you and your offspring.

—

Hey! my dear friends or soon-to-be's, JtC could use the donations to keep this site functioning for those of us who can still see the life preserver or flotsam in the water.

Submitted by CaptainPoptart on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 12:52am

You were missed

Hoping the worst is behind you and you're on the road to recovery. Try to stay positive, from someone who understands depression and what it can do to you.

—

I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance. - e.e.cummings

Submitted by detroitmechworks on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 12:57am

Yeah, went through my Hydrocodode stash...

In about 4 days, then had to switch to Ibuprofen... which of course is AWFUL for your kidneys, but it's all the VA would give me. Pain is 95% gone now, so that's good, but still hard for me to leave the house right now due to... just general crap.

Sad thing is that I never know when I'm depressed... until I spend 2-3 weeks not doing ANYTHING and finally notice it.

—

I do not pretend I know what I do not know.

Submitted by WindDancer13 on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 1:42am

What I have found useful is keeping

a daily log of my activities. Sometimes there is only something like the following:

July 17-Sunday...Up 12:38 pm
News / c99 / TPW
DAZ freebie / DL
Comps off 3:36 am

Days can vary a lot, and it is easy to forget that one has actually done something on any given day, so I find it very helpful to at least have a small picture of my day. Slow days (like above) are offset with days in which I actually get something done. On the latter days, I get a bit of a sense of accomplishment from writing it down. Otherwise, when I am sinking into a depression, it becomes more evident to me sooner.

I used to write this out long hand--which means that I will never be able to decipher it as my handwriting is abominable--but a couple of months ago switched to using Microsoft OneNote that I am finding very handy for a lot of things including just keeping random notes of things that I think about during the day.

It did not take very long for it to become a habit (writing daily notes). Hope you feel better soon.

From Dialogue Between Franklin and the Gout (See link for the rest):

FRANKLIN. Eh! Oh! eh! What have I done to merit these cruel sufferings?

GOUT. Many things; you have ate and drank too freely, and too much indulged those legs of yours in their indolence.

FRANKLIN. Who is it that accuses me?

GOUT. It is I, even I, the Gout.

FRANKLIN. What! my enemy in person?

GOUT. No, not your enemy.

FRANKLIN. I repeat it, my enemy; for you would not only torment my body to death, but ruin my good name; you reproach me as a glutton and a tippler; now all the world, that knows me, will allow that I am neither the one nor the other.

GOUT. The world may think as it pleases; it is always very complaisant to itself, and sometimes to its friends; but I very well know that the quantity of meat and drink proper for a man, who takes a reasonable degree of exercise, would be too much for another, who never takes any.

FRANKLIN. I take—eh! oh!—as much exercise—eh!—as I can, Madam Gout. You know my sedentary state, and on that account, it would seem, Madam Gout, as if you might spare me a little, seeing it is not altogether my own fault.

—

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.--Aristotle
If there is no struggle there is no progress.--Frederick Douglass

Submitted by detroitmechworks on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 1:47am

Had to laugh at the last...

Because prior to the attack, I walked... 4-5 miles a day, regularly. Thought I had broken my foot because my shoes were almost worn through...

—

I do not pretend I know what I do not know.

Submitted by WindDancer13 on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 3:15am

Read the whole thing from the link.

It is quite fun, especially when the Gout describes Franklin's "exercise."

—

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.--Aristotle
If there is no struggle there is no progress.--Frederick Douglass

Submitted by Late Again on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 2:10am

Whoa, DMW, if you don't mind my asking

Do you have known kidney problems? Because if you do, any NSAID is really, truly and seriously off-limits.

—

"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained." - Mark Twain

Submitted by detroitmechworks on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 2:19am

Yes. Only took it for about 2 days, with lots of water.

Just until the pain stopped. Now using Cannabis, but need to get to the store at the start of the next month to get the right stuff, because what I have is pretty ineffective.

Had a kidney stone last year, and was advised to avoid them if possible, but was also told in order to deal with the inflammation I needed to take Ibuprofen. Catch 22 situation, so I limited my use as much as possible.

—

I do not pretend I know what I do not know.

Submitted by importer on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 9:35am

You might try CBD's, without the "high"....

they are very effective for foot pain, anxiety and depression. I have had gout - not fun. They put me on a painkiller that actually caused depression. I have never had depression, but became depressed in a couple days on that pill!

I don't take anything, now. I watch my diet and exercise that seems to help more than anything. My gout got worse in the winter months, I theorize that I was lacking fruits and vegetables and had to make a point of eating more. I drink plenty of water.

Good luck, read the info on the drugs, many cause depression and worse.

Submitted by Late Again on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 1:01am

DMW, have you ever tried allopurinol?

It's prescribed to lower uric acid, which causes gout. It's a very old and very effective drug with few to no side effects; my father was in the very first clinical trials for it and most of my family takes it.

I had my first gout attack at 24 - lucky me, all my cousins started getting it at age 9 or 10 - and have been taking allopurinol for over 20 years now. No gout attacks since my late twenties.

Sorry you are going through all this.

—

"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained." - Mark Twain

Submitted by detroitmechworks on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 1:03am

No I have not.

VA wouldn't prescribe anything non-symptomatic since it was my first flare up and unless it's "Chronic" they don't provide for it. If I get more flare ups, then they said they can prescribe me long term care through my primary care, BUT I have to have a record at the VA for it...

Thank you for the advice, and I will ask them about it if I get another attack, since then it's a pattern and can be dealt with, supposedly.

—

I do not pretend I know what I do not know.

Submitted by josb on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 1:13am

There's also colchicine

It's rather toxic from what I understand, but it helps me (I'm also on allopurinol, but every once in a while my toe, ankle or knee still feels funny, and I take one).

So sorry to hear you have gout - it hurts like hell. Take care of yourself, DMW!

Submitted by detroitmechworks on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 1:16am

Thanks for the advice... writing these down.

If anything, it'll give me OPTIONS to talk to the VA about, which is what I need.

—

I do not pretend I know what I do not know.

Submitted by Late Again on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 1:16am

It's definitely worth asking about.

The only caveat is that you absolutely cannot take it during an attack, because it will worsen it exponentially (if you can imagine such a thing). It's only for prevention, not treatment. I assume they gave you colchicine for the attack, ugh.

The other good thing about it is the price. I get a 90-day supply from my mom-and-pop pharmacy for under $20. I know that can be a lot; twenty bucks is a lot to me but I can usually scrounge it up when the time comes.

Sorry, offering solutions is my way of showing sympathy. I forget that most people just want an ear!

—

"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained." - Mark Twain

Submitted by detroitmechworks on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 1:17am

I appreciate it.

Suggestions are helpful, especially considering I'm still in a bit of depression and not thinking too clear on what I need to do. Gives me FOCUS, which is actually helpful in pulling myself out of this.

—

I do not pretend I know what I do not know.

Submitted by tapu dali on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 1:10am

Yes . me as well.

I was doing just fine -- or so I thought -- until the Dean asked me if I were really able to carry on.
--Sure, what's the problem?
--I don't think so.
--Why would you say that?
--You passed out in class last week.
--Oh, the syncope. It happens.
--No, that's not good. You're seeing the physician tomorrow. Really, You've been here for ages, td , why don't you call it a day?
........
retirement ... odd ... weird ... yet somehow quite satisfying, in a way I should not have believed.

Still getting over it, but remarkably

—

There are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns – the ones we don't know we don't know.

Submitted by detroitmechworks on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 1:34am

Sometimes we get so wrapped up...

in thinking we're fine... that we can't see how awful we actually appear to outside eyes.

I was... not taking care of myself and it really showed. Kids were fed, house was taken care of, but I was completely a shipwreck.

—

I do not pretend I know what I do not know.

Submitted by blue drop on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 1:44am

i've had a couple of instances of gout in recent years

gout was more painful than the case of shingles i developed last month. i think it even lasted longer.

Submitted by detroitmechworks on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 1:45am

Wasn't as bad as the Kidney Stone, BUT...

Dear LORD it hurt. Ended up shivering in pain for 2 nights before I finally went to the hospital.

—

I do not pretend I know what I do not know.

Submitted by blue drop on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 2:21am

kidney stones, oh yeah, bad stuff

not me personally but my other half. i had heard it was more painful than giving birth to a baby. i was in the backyard one day during that period and his kidney stone was on the move. i heard his screaming all the way to the backyard. next thing i know the dog is running out the dog door and giving me a panicked look of WTF?

when they tell you it's best to let the stone pass they're not kidding. the procedure involved to remove a stone is a whole mishigas in itself. his second stone wouldn't pass. it was too big so they had to go in and bust it up. he wasn't quite knocked out when he saw what they were about to ram up into his urethra. luckily, he was unconscious before they started, but there was a heap of pain after the procedure and it burned badly when he urinated. his screams were on the same level as the passing stone. they also put a stent inside to temporarily keep the urethra open to allow any residual stones and debris to pass through. then after several weeks the stent is removed and they numb you by jamming a bunch of lidocaine into the penis and the stent comes out with a yank.

Submitted by Deja on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 5:23pm

Good Lawd, blue drop!

I don't even have a penis, and I cringed reading this! Poor, poor man! Shivers. . .

Submitted by Daveygodigaditch on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 2:51am

Had my first gout 20 years ago

Like you I was sure I had broken my big toe and went to the emergency room. The weight of a bedsheet was too much to withstand and unlike most other conditions there was no positioning myself to lesson the pain. I was given indomethicin, an NSAID. After several flare ups I have learned whenever my feet feel funny I need to take the pills right away, and this usually prevents it blossoming. If I wait until I really know it's a flare up then the pills won't stop it and will take a couple of very painful days until it works. It's my understanding that you have to take the allopurinol for the rest of your life and I'm too stubborn to do that.,the indomethicin is the one drug I don't like. I can only explain it as wherever my conscious or sense of self resides, the pills seem to put it someplace else, which I don't like. Sorry to blather on but only one who has experienced the gout can truly relate to it, and it sounds more like a disease from the past that isn't as popular today.

—

“The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us”
― Voltaire

Submitted by blue drop on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 3:49am

reminds me of my use of trazodone

I can only explain it as wherever my conscious or sense of self resides, the pills seem to put it someplace else, which I don't like.

i was having trouble with insomnia and my insurance, at the time, would only allow me to be prescribed trazodone to help me sleep. i didn't like the effect it had on me at all. laying in bed it just felt like my limbs were separated from my body. it was too weird a sensation to tolerate so i quit taking it.

---gah, every now and then i still hit the wrong reply button. this comment was intended for Daveygodigaditch

Submitted by Miss SPED on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 7:48am

Please let us help.

I hope the suggestions and comments helped. If any of us live close, or, can run errands or lend a listening ear, please tell us, or PM us. As you can see, we want to be a friend in need.
And, 'Hooah!' My son is Army strong and we know VA experiences that, like yours, are frustrating and heartbreaking. Good Lord, let us give you a lift and spend your money on meds, or food, or something real.
I live in North Texas, it's kinda far from Portland? But we want to be there for you.

Submitted by detroitmechworks on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 2:33pm

I appreciate it...

I'm just very leery of asking for MORE help, because the last time I did a year or so ago on DKOS, I still feel a bit guilty about it. Yes, it helped me immeasurably, but I keep not wanting to take the resources which might need to go to somebody in a MUCH worse place.

—

I do not pretend I know what I do not know.

Submitted by Lenzabi on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 7:31am

Sorry to hear about the flare

Sorry to hear about the flare up of troubles. Hope all gets better, more manageable soon. Gout can suck real bad, but kidney issues are downright scary!

—

So long, and thanks for all the fish

Submitted by detroitmechworks on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 2:30pm

Yeah, I have reason to believe...

I may have damaged them somewhat in Iraq 8 years ago. (Got Dehydrated a LOT, in the summer, in 130 + heat)

First flare up, hopefully the last for a while.

—

I do not pretend I know what I do not know.

Submitted by dkmich on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 8:23am

Glad you are back..

I enjoyed tweeting with you the last several days. Feel better soon.

—

"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."--Napoleon

Submitted by detroitmechworks on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 2:29pm

Much better, but damn... 40's only a month away...

And it's amazing how fast I fell apart.

—

I do not pretend I know what I do not know.

Submitted by Lookout on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 8:35am

Good to see you here

Glad you're on the mend. So nice your kids where there to help.
All the best...

—

“Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

Submitted by detroitmechworks on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 2:26pm

I am very proud of them.

And have been bragging on their good behaviour for weeks.

I think kids who are good deserve far more attention than they get sometimes...

—

I do not pretend I know what I do not know.

Submitted by Szaephod on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 12:14pm

Glad you're back on line DMW!

Had me worried there.

Best

—

The spirit of party serves to enfeeble the Public Administration,
agitates with Jealousies and false alarms, and opens the door to corruption,
which finds access to the government itself through the channels of party passions.
George Washington

Submitted by detroitmechworks on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 2:25pm

Thanks! Wasn't offline... just depressed.

And I'm awful about doing things when I get like that.

—

I do not pretend I know what I do not know.

Submitted by Deja on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 5:35pm

I had been wondering where you were

Didn't want to ask because I, incorrectly, thought someone might have pissed you off (aka hurt your feelings) after the 2 ex military guys went postal in Dallas & Batton Rouge, because that's when I realized you were missing.

Glad I was wrong, but sorry for the real reason. Glad you're on the mend. Also glad I don't have gout. OUCH!

SIDE NOTE & since we're on the subject: What happened to Meip? (Miep?) I hope she's okay. Last I heard, she was talking about moving back to Cali. At least I think that was her.

Submitted by detroitmechworks on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 5:42pm

That DID piss me off, but not here.

Mainly because Barry put me on a watch list when I got back from Iraq, and then sent my buddies RIGHT BACK THERE. Combined with the 1.4 billion cuts to the VA, and I admit that I rage a bit when people blame the military for the actions of idiots, but then immediately leap to the defense of Muslims when they do the exact same shit.

But of course that's MY rant, and my issue. Folks tell me that I need to be more "Tolerant" of that religion, and I just nod my head and completely shut up about it. You won't find me pulling a Trump and calling for deportation, because I don't believe in shipping a problem elsewhere. We made the mess, we have to clean it up, and that starts by addressing problems ALL AROUND.

—

I do not pretend I know what I do not know.

Submitted by Deja on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 6:05pm

Agreed

We definitely made the mess on both issues. Can't unring a bell; so I have no idea how to fix it, other than, you know, STOP doing what causes both issues. Both issues generate money, and Bernie had his nomination stolen from him. So, I don't see either issue even mentioned now that he has moved into Back the Evilest One mode, and I am truly sad.

Submitted by lizzyh7 on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 6:01pm

Glad to see you're back

and sorry to hear about your latest struggles with a legacy this country left to you. And many others. Hang in there and look forward to reading your posts again.

—

Only a fool lets someone else tell him who his enemy is. Assata Shakur

Submitted by detroitmechworks on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 6:03pm

Glad to be back...

Scary thing Is I'm seeing lots of Army Recruiting Commercials now... and they're SCARY.

The Army should NOT be promoting service by showing pictures of soldiers in Riot Gear smacking down protestors, but they are...

—

I do not pretend I know what I do not know.

Submitted by MarilynW on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 6:41pm

Keeping so busy I hardly notice the train coming in

I think of myself as something like an antique car, in need of new parts and runs on special fuel. I recover fast and I think it is because I have a lot to do.

—

To thine own self be true.

Submitted by sillia on Wed, 07/27/2016 - 9:25pm

not just about gout, but

severe pain in joints/muscles/bone responds well to magnesium. You can use Epsom salts in a warm foot bath for a good dose of mag. You can also get a "magnesium oil" spray to apply to the skin.

I've used Epsom salt baths for my worst Lyme pain for several years, it helps more than anything else I can do. This summer when I cracked a bone in my shoulder I needed prescription pain meds for a couple days, after that I used the magnesium spray and it took enough of the edge off that I could get by.

For certain kinds of pain gabapentin helps me a lot, but I understand some people can't tolerate this, or it might not be compatible with whatever else is going on.

Hope you recover soon, best wishes.