Open Thread - Friday, September 11, 2015

Share
up
0 users have voted.

Comments

joe shikspack's picture

up
0 users have voted.
enhydra lutris's picture

up
0 users have voted.

That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

NCTim's picture

Thanks for stoppin' by. I am running behind schedule.

up
0 users have voted.

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche -

MarilynW's picture

Here's my chance to say something for the Arts, except these aren't my words. It's from a letter to the ed in the Globe & Mail, Canada's National newspaper.

The much ballyhooed debate over whether a degree in the humanities is as good
as one in the sciences and technology and math (We Ignore Liberal Arts At our Peril
Sept. 7) has once again been answered in the affirmative - on two successive days!

How is it that it takes novelist Margaret Atwood (mind you one of our very best) to
present an insightful and multipronged argument on how to clean-up and
re-direct the oil-sands fiasco better than any engineer or economist could do
(Can Canadian Oil Green Clean Itself?- Sept. 8)?

And why should it be another fine novelist, John Vaillant, who presents the
migrant crisis with such passion and proper contextualization better than
anyone in the "hard sciences" ever could (Jumping into the Lethal Unknown - Sept. 9)

If the sciences are the bones, the arts are the blood and the beating heart of humanity
-Sheldon Fischer, Toronto

We ignore the liberal arts at our peril

Can Canadian oil green-clean itself?

The migrant crisis: Jumping into the lethal unknown

up
0 users have voted.

To thine own self be true.

shaharazade's picture

and humanities in our educational system are sadly lacking these days. I'm constantly amazed at how many educated people in our society, techies, scientists and MBA's are so binary and closed in their narrow thinking, pov and approach to life. Cause and effect, along with any universal humanism, morality or principles that are not physical seem beyond their comprehension or capacity. They scoff and dismiss any 'truths' that are not scientific, statistical or peer reviewed and refuse to see the inter connectivity of life and humanity. My dad was a mad scientist and he too had this detached weird view of nature and humanism. I read a lot of philosophy and history in my youth and he would tell me what a waste of time and my brain it was mess with abstract useless navel gazing. He worked in the aerospace industry and did a lot of work on nasty weapons used in Veit Nam. When my brother and I would ask him why he designed these weapons he would say 'Somebodies got to do it'. He liked working on defense project's as that was 'where the action was'. GOS is full of these types who cannot connect the dots and do not value humanism or the liberal arts. Their world view is frightening to me as their vision of reality seems so disconnected from the self evident humanistic truths that allow people to exist in harmony with nature and each other.

up
0 users have voted.
hecate's picture

scientist father should have known that science is simply a branch of philosophy. And that until the 19th Century, there weren't even any "scientists"—instead, they called themselves "natural philosophers."

up
0 users have voted.
shaharazade's picture

got tweaked when I took to reading the existentialist Camus. A book called Cosmic Consciousness got him twitching. I suppose in a perverse way his anti-humanism reactions were a great incentive to my educational path. I tended to get A's in all liberal arts while flunking algebra so many times that they put me in remedial math. I managed to squeak through HS with a pretty good grade point average and did well on the SAT's. In college my counselor told my parents I was in the wrong place and should be going to art school. Strangely in art school I ended up having to use math and become a techie. At least I was a lose wrist that could draw in the style of the old Italian masters and could do a great imitation of Beardsley from years of tracing his drawings.

up
0 users have voted.
MarilynW's picture

My 7 year old grandson interrupted his aunt & I when we were discussing art. He said he knew about Monet, Van Gogh, Cezanne & More. We thought he was bluffing or name-dropping. So my daughter asked him what was his favourite Van Gogh painting and he said "Starry Night!" It turns out his Grade 1 has a visiting artist give art lessons at the school. The students then try to make paintings in the style of the artist they learn about.

Beardsley - he could really draw. Would love to see your drawings in that style.

up
0 users have voted.

To thine own self be true.

NCTim's picture

Fosters the ethnocentricity, bigotry and nationalism that has the world in a funk.

up
0 users have voted.

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche -

MarilynW's picture

up
0 users have voted.

To thine own self be true.

NCTim's picture

Yeah, my butt is dragging. Out sleep cycle is out of sych, and the chores are piling up.

up
0 users have voted.

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche -

If you aks me what's happenin', heh, just say the rent.

Woke up with laryngitis this morning, can you tell?

up
0 users have voted.
shaharazade's picture

'the rent's too high' and it just keeps getting higher. The developers/ realtors keep sending us letters with offers to buy our 'tired old house', for cash, no fees or closing costs, cause they want to bulldoze it and build some unaffordable, toxic, high rent slums of the future. Talk about wolves at your door and pressure to keep up with the payments be they rent or mortgage. It's full steam ahead with marketing and work as even if we sold our money pit of a house we could not afford to rent anything but a broom closet in today's housing market. Better get to work and stop my mind from wandering, our roof needs fixing.

up
0 users have voted.
NCTim's picture

up
0 users have voted.

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche -

up
0 users have voted.
mimi's picture

because I wanted to say something in the Open Thread. Then I got distracted with the "Iran deal stuff" and the "hegemony" thingy.

Now I have forgotten what I actually came for to post... Sigh.

So I only say Good Morning, have a wonderful day. In my neighborhood we have the first two days where the temperatures finally cool down during night to around 70° F and we are being relieved from some 24/7h sweat producing 90°F+ degrees with high humidity.

Good times are coming to DC in September and October. Always my favorite months here. Blue skies, fresh breeze and not too hot and not yet cold. Smile

up
0 users have voted.
NCTim's picture

Have a great weekend!

up
0 users have voted.

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche -

gulfgal98's picture

I don't have a whole lot to say just yet, but I am sure I will later. LOL Blum 3

up
0 users have voted.

Do I hear the sound of guillotines being constructed?

“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." ~ President John F. Kennedy

triv33's picture

Since it's wide open this morning, I'll share something special to me...
[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JMVvP6CvX4]

up
0 users have voted.

I shave my legs with Occam's Razor~

shaharazade's picture

My husband is a musician also and he's pretty special to me and so is his music. I liked this.

up
0 users have voted.
triv33's picture

it took me years to talk him into recording that version.

up
0 users have voted.

I shave my legs with Occam's Razor~

enhydra lutris's picture

up
0 users have voted.

That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

NCTim's picture

up
0 users have voted.

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche -

NCTim's picture

Turn it up!

up
0 users have voted.

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche -

WSJ link

To what extent is al Qaeda reaping the rewards of the Saudi-led war in Yemen?
That is an important question for the future of Yemen and for U.S. counterterrorism efforts against the Yemeni branch of the global terror network. The answer depends on who you ask.
Few here deny that al Qaeda has fought alongside the broad alliance that ousted pro-Iran Houthi militias from much of southern Yemen in recent weeks.
...
But that small proportion doesn’t mean that al Qaeda isn’t capable of using the current political chaos in southern Yemen to dramatically increase its power. That is what happened in Libya, where al Qaeda-affiliated extremists and then Islamic State have made major advances, benefiting from the infighting among more moderate forces following the downfall of Moammar Gadhafi in 2011.
up
0 users have voted.

I can't wait. Going to have flowering plants and bushes everywhere. Doing my part for the bees. The company is owned by two women who are certified master gardeners and actually do the work. Name of her company is Two Women and a Hoe. Just love it - her too. It will all be organic and maintenance free. All I can say is that the deer better not eat it.

Haven't been around much. Feeling introverted and pissed off. Don't have a clue why. Hopefully, Monday will improve my attitude. This diary did penetrate my funk. Unfortunately it didn't last. So I'm going to say hello and then take my grumpy self away. Hope you all have a good day.

up
0 users have voted.

"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."--Napoleon

gulfgal98's picture

I was afraid you had left us. Sad I hope new landscaping and the thought of spring flowers brightens your days ahead. Give rose

up
0 users have voted.

Do I hear the sound of guillotines being constructed?

“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." ~ President John F. Kennedy

Maybe I just need to be around your sunny smile more. Not gone, just introverted, sulky and busy with work. Seeing your very warm smile is always good for what ails.

up
0 users have voted.

"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."--Napoleon

shaharazade's picture

grumpy or cheerful it's good your still around. Congratulations on your new garden. the weather has cooled down enough in Portland that I can start working on resurrecting my fried and neglected landscaping and veggie garden. Today's the last hot day peaking out at 92. Next week it looks like it all 60-70's so I'm putting on my gardening boots and getting out my shovel. Politics just freak me out but a slight ray of optimism is creeping in due to the response of ordinary people to Bernie and in the UK to Corbyn's winning despite Brit establishment neoliberal/neocon's dire warnings of eminent disaster for the world as we find it. It's a dangerous world dontchaknow and yet a anti-war leftist defeated the New Labour Blairites. Perhaps the people globally are getting to a point where the devil they know and have been betrayed by is more frightening then the unknown way forward. Politics are not static and it's good to see some of us globally taking a democratic leap into the unknown and begin the process of prying the inevitable vampire squid off our faces.

up
0 users have voted.
MarilynW's picture

I bet they don't use chain saws to trim bushes either. Smile

up
0 users have voted.

To thine own self be true.

shaharazade's picture

or spraying of strange toxic brews either. Our street with small yards is pretty environmentally friendly with the majority using hand tools including push lawnmowers. There's less noise pollution then neighborhoods with blowers, chain saws, trimmers and all those power tools that seem like overkill on a 100x50 ft. lot.

up
0 users have voted.

So I've been paying this company to fertilizer my sad dogwood, spray my bushes to keep bugs from lunching on them, and spray my bed to chase away the weeks. This summer I looked around and couldn't find a bush or a tree that was worth keeping, but I did have weeds. They also pruned and prepared by beds for winter. They did use a chain saw.

The gardener lady (Jill) said not to clean out beds or cut back in the fall. She said the leaves make great protection from the cold and cutting plants back only weakened them in time for winter. She said this is what you did in the spring when the nice weather was on the way. Who knew? She is also going to take care of my new beds for a couple of years - at least until they are established, or until I die - whichever comes first. Mosking I figure the money I was paying to the chainsaw company I can give to her to do my gardening.

It is so nice to be here. Thanks for the greeting.

up
0 users have voted.

"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."--Napoleon

mimi's picture

resist, because I am actually envious of you having landscapers to make you happy and do the real professional job.

I have to do the opposite, by myself, getting hedges (half dead) and other plants, that are pretty big, (so that my son couldn't dig them out anymore), ripped out of the soil. I wonder what would happen if I just saw the bushes off and leave some very short stumps behind. Will the roots rot in the soil after a while? Sigh. I will never be a successful gardener. This year everything didn't grow properly, not even my potatoes and tomatoes. I think it was too hot and I didn't water, so too dry, which sounds strange considering how humid the heat is over here. Oh, well, there will be another year.

up
0 users have voted.
shaharazade's picture

you mimi. I walked off and let the whole yard literally fry. Before the heat set in at the end of March we tool out a pussy willow bush that was actually not a bush but a Scottish ground cover that grows on the banks of river and holds erosion back. Ours was heading for the street wrecking our dry wall and covering smothering all the landscaping under it it We could not train it to stand up after it matured. It was reverting to it's natural pre-hybridized self. We could not afford to get it taken out so we cut it down to a stump as low as we could by hand. After a few weeks it started growing suckers off the stump. I had my husband dig down about 1 and a half feet in a wide circle around the roots and cut/severed the roots and peeled the bark off.

My 90 year old gardening pal helped me do the same to two huge Laurel bushes years ago. With the Laurel bushes, as they are acid lovers we put garden lime on the exposed root and back filled the hole that had exposed the peeled and severed roots They never came back. There is a large flat stump left. I use it as pedestal for a large pot with a miniature pomegranate tree? bush? That is now dead as a door nail from the extreme heat.

So anyway at least the Scottish 'Cousin It' gigantic ground cover is gone. The corner where it grew now sports a big pit with fried weeds and assorted half dead perennials. I have my work cut out for me even though it's a small space. So yes you can cut bushes, trees, shrubs down to the stump and get them out. I had several other large Laurels that had to be removed as they were growing into our foundation and were at least 60 years old. With these I called and hired a stump grinder. I cut the tops off with a chain saw and the stump grinder took them totally out. Stump grinders are not expensive 125.00$ for 4 giant Laurels. As a side benefit they ground up everything they uprooted, in a portable chipper, into nice wood chips which I used to mulch the new path the removal created. So there you go you can remove unwanted large growing beastie plants old school style. I tell you mimi, you need to have a ruthless strain to be a gardener.

Shahyar calls our yard with my endless gardening Cindy's gym. I have missed working outside this year of heat. My gardening friend next door who did finally die at 93 was active and gardening to his end. As he often said to me while we were working outside 'There's no rest for the wicked'. So I'm not going to let climate change or old age stop my wicked gardening ways.

up
0 users have voted.
mimi's picture

... I can't count the mistakes I made in my yard. Thanks for your descriptions. I will start may be in a couple of days to do some serious cut downs to the stump level of my hedge. It used to be a nice one, but one snowstorm a couple of years back, which dumped over a yard high snow cover on the ground, broke the hedges' branches so badly, it never recovered. As you said the idea to cut back plants which are growing happily doesn't resonate with me. Why should I cut them back? Too much work. Until I regret it because everything grows over my head. I planted once a small asian pear tree. In the third year it was so high I couldn't even pick the pears and I planted it so close to the house, it could have damaged seriously the foundation. No pears, just tears for all the work put in to have my fruit trees. I planted some dwarf peach trees and dwarf bamboo and dwarf rosebud trees. The trees were cute, but the peaches were rare and eaten up by animals. My rosebud trees are the pride of my yard in spring, first to bloom in dark reddish colors. My bamboo shines in the fall wit many red clusters of berries.

It's getting in the 70°F range and that gives me the strength back to do the work. I don't think I need a stump grinder. I live in a community which has wonderful old trees and many, many hedges and little walk-ways. Many trees grow their roots in the foundations of the houses. I wonder when they will tear down the community. It's an old co-op, some families live in here in the second generation and love this place. Actually a very nice community, just the little houses are miserable. I will miss the trees and walkways and the community feeling of this place, but I want a house that I can afford to heat and cool and has no extra fees. And I need to start all over.

Thanks for chatting with me and for your advice. I will get back to you after I released my ruthlessness and let it run wild on my plants. Smile

up
0 users have voted.
Unabashed Liberal's picture

I haven't had the heart to post, lately. And, of course, I'm very much in the process of attempting to settle his [out-of-state] final personal and business affairs--a relatively time-consuming matter which will require numerous trips to complete.

[I have tried to lurk a bit, and there have been many excellent posts. Looks like I'll be playing catch-up for quite a while.]

My condolences to Nancy regarding the loss of her Father. I believe that our personal losses may have occurred on the same day--three weeks ago today, on August 21.

Also, even though I was just too tired to chime in the other day, I really enjoyed your excellent 'bird' essay--always one of my favorite topics. The bird photos were great, and the diary was very informative.

Just a couple of months ago, my Brother playfully chided me, saying that my blogging had lost some of the verve and/or edge that it had when I first started blogging about four years ago. He kidded me that my comments had become almost mealy-mouthed.

And it was true--I had allowed myself to become so concerned about getting banned, HR'd, etc. (DKos, etc.), that I no longer even bothered to take a principled stand on much of anything.

Well, he was right, and I'm done with that posture. Life is too short.

His sudden and totally unexpected death (massive heart attack) is a reminder that "there truly is no promise of tomorrow."

All that any of us have is the present.

My 'Big Brother' had only recently celebrated his 68th birthday.

Without him, my world will always be a bleaker and less joyful one.

So, today, it's my charge, and my hope, that I can find my principled voice again, and do 'Al' proud.

Mollie


"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."--Helen Keller

up
0 users have voted.

Everyone thinks they have the best dog, and none of them are wrong.

may your brother be in peace. I lost my dad a few weeks ago, it's a tough go. Take your time, we'll be here when your ready to voice again.

up
0 users have voted.
Unabashed Liberal's picture

for several of us (at least five of us, if I've not missed anyone), in regards to losing a loved one(s).

Of course, this 'blog home' is a wonderful refuge, in general--and I thank you for it.

I found out that our main cell phone and wi-fi carrier is 'out of service' in Al's town. But our AT&T backup phones/wi-fi hotspot have at least average functionality there. Which is a relief, since I'll be spending considerable time there in the months to come.

Mollie


"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."--Helen Keller
up
0 users have voted.

Everyone thinks they have the best dog, and none of them are wrong.

Big Al's picture

I can only imagine how you feel. May he rest in peace. I have an older 68 year old sister so I can imagine how it would
be to lose her or my younger brother. A part of life that's difficult to take.
You take care of yourself. If your brother is anything like mine, he'd want you to get the most out of life you can.
Your friends here including me are grateful you're here.
Al

up
0 users have voted.
Unabashed Liberal's picture

kind words. I am very grateful and lucky to have such 'good people' (as Smiley would say) as friends in this blogging Community.

And you nailed it--outside of the normal grieving process, Al would never want to think that his passing would have a lasting adverse effect on me or my family.

And, it is up to me to make it so, in order to honor him.

Mollie


"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."--Helen Keller
up
0 users have voted.

Everyone thinks they have the best dog, and none of them are wrong.

mimi's picture

other than my son and my sister I have no people left that are close to me in the family. They all died away. I too go through a loss, but that's a kind of loss that caused lots of "rethinking of my whole life" and it is so hard, I try to avoid the issues and stop thinking about it. But then, it comes back from time to time, it's even worse for my son. Hecate wrote here once a comment about heirs and how they show their worst sides of themselves. I didn't believe it when she wrote it, but now I think she was onto something. If it wouldn't be so awful, I could tell a story. But I rather pass that one.

I always enjoy it when you talk. I hope you find your way back here. Hang in there.

up
0 users have voted.
Unabashed Liberal's picture

must still be grieving your own loss--so my best to you, as well. Because my Brother and I lived in different states, it's going to take a little more time to wrap my head around all that's happened. For now, in some ways, it still hasn't quite sunk in.

I understand what you're saying--it is natural to 'rethink' situations, and to some extent, relationships, after a profound emotional loss.

I had a thought of calling my Brother on Thursday the 20th, but decided to delay the call until Saturday, so that I could 'hook up' others on a family conference call. It's hard not to beat oneself up for that decision [to wait], even though I know that I had no way to foresee that his daily predawn 'walk' would take such a unexpected and tragic turn on Friday morning. Still, it's hard not to regret that I chose to wait . . .

Mollie


"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."--Helen Keller
up
0 users have voted.

Everyone thinks they have the best dog, and none of them are wrong.

gulfgal98's picture

It is such a terrible thing to lose a loved one, especially a sibling or a child. And when it occurs suddenly, the shock and grief are doubled. Yes, we did experience our losses on the same day, August 21. The difference is that my mother, sister and I had been grieving for years because Alzheimer's is the long good bye. For you, the shock and tragedy of your brother's death came suddenly and unexpectedly. So I can understand how deeply it affected you. Much love and good wishes for healing I am sending to you. Smile

I hope as your heart heals, you can find the strength to come back here be with us once again. (((hugs)))

up
0 users have voted.

Do I hear the sound of guillotines being constructed?

“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." ~ President John F. Kennedy

Unabashed Liberal's picture

of sympathy, Nancy, especially when you have your own deep loss/grief to bear. Your tribute to your Father was very touching. Much of what you said is exactly the same as I said when I lost my Father in the late 70's. I hope your sister, her family, and especially your elderly Mother, are all holding up well.

Also, your wishes for 'healing' are very much appreciated.

I figure that I'll have my hands somewhat full during the week for a while, but hope to comment/participate at least on weekends, if nothing else.

One more thing--as you might imagine, I was concerned about the fact that 'my birds and critters' would not be fed for quite some time (not that it could be helped). Of course, I couldn't put out the regular bird feeders, because of rain. So, I left a couple of huge bowls full of seed, and a massive amount of seed in ground feeders. I also put out a large amount of Timothy Hay for our rabbit 'regulars.' Anyhoo, when we pulled into the driveway upon our return, it appeared that our entire Cardinal Family was at the feeding area--waiting for us. Wink

Also, I don't have the final count yet, but I believe that our Cardinal Family is at least 10 members strong, heading into this Fall and Winter. Hope this winter is not so severe.

Mollie


"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."--Helen Keller
up
0 users have voted.

Everyone thinks they have the best dog, and none of them are wrong.

joe shikspack's picture

my condolences, mollie. i'm certain that you will find your voice again, sometimes it takes some time to decompress after being embroiled in a community that imposes conformity and works hard to suppress opinion that falls outside the bounds of the dominant groups' consensus. take your time and let yourself heal.

up
0 users have voted.
Unabashed Liberal's picture

my Brother more at EB, than most other blogging venues (when we were discussing music genres, etc.). I suppose that it's not unusual to be influenced, musically, by one's older sibling's [music] era. At any rate, I was.

BTW, I really like the EB format over here, too. Nice that you guys (or JtC) added the notation "Home Of The Evening Blues."

Great idea!

I started to comment this evening about Jeb's tax plan, but was just too bummed out to get the backup material about the so-called "Buffet Rule." I look forward to doing so the next time that you post on the upcoming (faux) budget crisis. I've saved several pieces on my cell phone news service to post when the topic of taxes comes up again, here. I've got one piece that flatly states that PBO has (or will, I forget) issue/issued a 'veto threat' if Repubs don't lift the sequester caps.

Naturally, it failed to mention which 'entitlement' cut(s) that he's prepared to cough up, in exchange for the [Sequester] spending increases.

Mollie


"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."--Helen Keller
up
0 users have voted.

Everyone thinks they have the best dog, and none of them are wrong.

MarilynW's picture

I hope you will find joy again in a while...

up
0 users have voted.

To thine own self be true.

Unabashed Liberal's picture

to the old axiom that "Time heals all wounds." Things will never be the same, but with time and healing, memories of my Brother will once again bring a smile, and not just tears. That much, I know.

BTW, it's great to see you and your "Morning Greens" Open Thread, over here, on a regular basis.

I'm probably the most ignorant person [here] regarding environmental issues, but I enjoy reading your essays because you write in regular language that even I can understand.

Of course, you may remember from EB how much I enjoy wildlife, so your wildlife essays are among my favorites.

Mollie


"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."--Helen Keller
up
0 users have voted.

Everyone thinks they have the best dog, and none of them are wrong.

MarilynW's picture

whether when the grief a person is suffering will be over. It's never over, we just learn to live with it and carry on.

up
0 users have voted.

To thine own self be true.

triv33's picture

You know when my Mom passed at this summer I thought I was handling it so well. I think the truth was that I was just exhausted, numb, after the years of dementia and the weeks of kidney failure, and there were still things to see to, making sure my Dad got through it. So the summer passed, soft and sad, but it seemed okay, I seemed okay. Then it was her birthday on Wednesday and I fell apart. Talk about delayed reactions.

Grief is a hell of thing. You don't just lose the person, you lose a little piece of yourself too. You lose the memories the that only the two of you shared, you lose the you they saw, the you that they made you feel like, if you know what I mean. Who you were to them.

It's good to be able to talk about it. I said elsewhere that she wouldn't want me to cry, but that yeah, she would, because that just shows I loved her, but then she would want me to stop and go on about my business. I'll try to do that soon and be who she was proud of too.

up
0 users have voted.

I shave my legs with Occam's Razor~

thank you, and sorry about your Mom.

up
0 users have voted.
triv33's picture

Been a rough summer for a lot of us.

up
0 users have voted.

I shave my legs with Occam's Razor~

Unabashed Liberal's picture

that you very beautifully expressed how the grieving process often works--and it isn't necessarily "like clockwork." I can vouch for that.

It is wonderful to be able to talk about grief, and the grieving process, as well as feelings of anger, abandonment, and guilt that sometimes accompany a loss. I'm glad that we have a safe place to do that here. It's a little difficult for me to do in regard to this loss, because I'm still processing it (or trying to).

I lost my parents decades apart, and I can attest to the difference in age/maturity, making a difference in the grieving experience. Certainly, it doesn't mean that one is not heartbroken, but maturity does sometimes help a bit when it comes to coping with a profound loss.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

An image that sticks in my mind, because I could so much identify with it, was the image of Princes William and Harry as they followed their Mother's funeral cassion.

I literally sobbed watching Diana's funeral. I liked her, and was truly saddened by her tragic and untimely death. So there were some tears shed for her passing.

But, I was most affected by the deep grief and shock that was etched upon the faces of her two young sons.

I knew that look, because that was how I looked and felt when my Father died. Unlike William and Harry, though, I was in my twenties when I lost my first parent, not a preteen or a teenager.

On the other hand, like them, I was devoted to the parent that I had lost.

And whether it is a prince, or a regular person, the look of profound hurt and grief is the same, and is universally recognizable.

Mollie


"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."--Helen Keller
up
0 users have voted.

Everyone thinks they have the best dog, and none of them are wrong.

Unabashed Liberal's picture

TM delivers. I needed that.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I'm usually not one to dwell very heavily on personal matters of this nature (on blogs). So, I want to thank everyone for their kind indulgence this evening.

It was simply impossible to drop back in, and act like nothing had happened/changed in my life.

Namaste.

Mollie


"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."--Helen Keller
up
0 users have voted.

Everyone thinks they have the best dog, and none of them are wrong.