I have nothing

I've been pondering this for a while. It started a few days ago when I was looking into my bowl of Alpha-Bits and mysteriously the words 'I have nothing' formed. Random? Destined? Who knows. I finished the cereal and although it may appear as if I'm going somewhere with this, I'm not. Seriously, I have nothing.

In order to disguise the fact that this is an essay about nothing I use block quotes which...

...which make all my cutting and pasting seem somehow glorious. The words contained in the block also allow me to give the illusion of a lengthy essay and help disguise the fact that what I am writing is of no consequence.

[Bolding is mine]

I intersperse graphics showing ambiguous data in order to lend credence to the fantasy that I'm actually supporting a stated thesis.

Then post another seemingly unrelated graph yet somehow I insist there is a correlation. Even though portions of my data are themselves ambiguous I claim they add extra value to the discussion.

All these bobbles and bangles are used to distract you from the reality that all the time you've been reading this I've actually said nothing. But, here's when I bring out the fireworks.

As a sesquipedalian who claims acumen with the verbal accoutrements of circumlocution it is not anomalistic that I am also incapable of being a magnanimous bellwether of any coruscant information. Manhandling large words to inject the illusion of knowledge in my vain attempt as if I'm coalescing all these thoughts into one and building to a crescendo of truth.

But alas, I still have nothing.

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WaveyDavey's picture

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The people, united, will never be defeated.

flowerfarmer's picture

Thank you.....quite perfect for this day.

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Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

I'm guessing you do a lot of work in the mainstream press? I think I recognize the technique.

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"More for Gore or the son of a drug lord--None of the above, fuck it, cut the cord."
--Zack de la Rocha

"I tell you I'll have nothing to do with the place...The roof of that hall is made of bones."
-- Fiver

riverlover's picture

wanting me to sign a big happy thank you card for Bernie for being assimilated. What a good job he's done! Needless to say not signing that creepy threat-note so it didn't flip to ask for Hillaryfunds.

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Hey! my dear friends or soon-to-be's, JtC could use the donations to keep this site functioning for those of us who can still see the life preserver or flotsam in the water.

vtcc73's picture

when I received the same email. That is now my routine with every endorser and supporter of HRC. Get an email, unsubscribe. I've been saving for this point in the campaign to help emphasize the point. I'd hope to lessen the number of immediate deletions I do every day but now Clinton shitbags will all have their hands out. But then unsubscribing to them is easy too.

I also replied to Bernie's email explaining his actions today. I doubt it will be read by anyone but I felt I had to reply. I won't unsubscribe to Bernie 2016 unless his efforts to "continue the revolution" prove to be captured by the Clinton campaign. I don't expect him to do that but I'll be closely watching. I'm going to let his news simmer for a bit then write to him with my thoughts. Again probably useless but I have a few things that have to be said. I will follow him if he continues to lead. I will also consider following a successor but I will never, ever vote for or donate to HRC or her allies.

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"Ah, but I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now..."

elenacarlena's picture

Hillary and DNC and PP emails to the Spam folder.

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vtcc73's picture

for months now. Moving panhandling emails to the spam folder might be self satisfying but who else knows and does it serve any real purpose? The way you hurt corporatists and politicians is in their wallet. They'll never notice if their actions aren't obviously costing them money. A simple statement that I will not support and I will not donate to them because they do not support my issue positions or my values is undeniable proof they're on the wrong track with a newly former supporter/donor. They'll do what they will with it.

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"Ah, but I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now..."

elenacarlena's picture

particularly enjoyed sending back those surveys in postage-prepaid envelopes. They don't send those to me any more. Message received.

Does repeatedly sending them to Spam send the same (or worse) message as Unsubscribe? I don't know. I do know they say don't Unsubscribe from real spam, it just encourages them.

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Unabashed Liberal's picture

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Everyone thinks they have the best dog, and none of them are wrong.

riverlover's picture

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Hey! my dear friends or soon-to-be's, JtC could use the donations to keep this site functioning for those of us who can still see the life preserver or flotsam in the water.

Coruscant is the capital of the Empire, where Palpatine ruled from. Get your facts straight!

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and that's what we will get NOTHING !

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sassytexan's picture

that Blues Traveler's Song, "Hook."

Lyrics:
It doesn't matter what I say
So long as I sing with inflection
That makes you feel I'll convey
Some inner truth or vast reflection
But I've said nothing so far
And I can keep it up for as long as it takes
And it don't matter who you are
If I'm doing my job then it's your resolve that breaks

Because the Hook brings you back
I ain't tellin' you no lie
The Hook brings you back
On that you can rely

There is something amiss
I am being insincere
In fact I don't mean any of this
Still my confession draws you near
To confuse the issue I refer
To familiar heroes from long ago
No matter how much Peter loved her
What made the Pan refuse to grow

Was that the Hook brings you back
I ain't tellin' you no lie
The Hook brings you back
On that you can rely

Suck it in suck it in suck it in
If you're Rin Tin Tin or Anne Boleyn
Make a desperate move or else you'll win
And then begin
To see
What you're doing to me this MTV is not for free
It's so PC it's killing me
So desperately I sing to thee
Of love
Sure but also of rage and hate and pain and fear of self
And I can't keep these feelings on the shelf
I've tried well no in fact I lied
Could be financial suicide but I've got too much pride inside
To hide or slide
I'll do as I'll decide and let it ride until I've died
And only then shall I abide this tide
Of catchy little tunes
Of hip three minute diddys
I wanna bust all your balloons
I wanna burn all your cities to the ground
I've found
I will not mess around
Unless I play then hey
I will go on all day. Hear what I say
I have a prayer to pray
That's really all this was
And when I'm feeling stuck and need a buck
I don't rely on luck because

The Hook brings you back
I ain't tellin' you no lie
The Hook...
On that you can rely

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elenacarlena's picture

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Ajaradom's picture

You're right, you ain't got nothing! What a fucking waste of my time and energy! I'm afraid your creative attempt at humor is wasted on me.

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A road to nowhere must lead somewhere.
There is a point to this comment, but I don't know what it is.

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Love is my religion.