What I Fear
In an effort to distract for a moment away from all of this political talk, I thought I'd share some things about myself. So, I decided to share from a category I'm sure we all can relate to: fears. And I mean legitimate fears, things that unnerve you, make you feel dread, or possibly cause a minor panic attack.
Why? Because it can be fun to talk about our fears, despite how much we may dread them.
So, the first of my fears I'd like to share is my fear of heights. This is more of an unnerving kind of fear than a dread causing one, but it does make me rather hesitant to live in mountainous areas. I've been on a trip into Colorado before, and was not amused by the mountain roads, despite the beautiful views.
The second one I'd like to share is my fear of tornadoes. I know, that seems pretty rational. However, it causes me to panic at most heavy storms, even if there is next to no chance of a tornado forming. This is especially true at night. In fact, the edge of a heavy storm is just beginning to roll over my town as I type this (and is what made me think to write this out actually). Haven't hit panic mode yet, and will hopefully avoid it, but if the power goes out, my nerves will go with it.
And my final fear is one that can affect me for days at a time: the future. I fear the future more than anything else I can think of. I believe the term for it is chronophobia, or something like that.
When I allow myself to ponder my future and the possibilities it may bring, I slide down a spiraling slope into a crippling depression that robs all meaning from my life. It is a difficult depression to escape from, but one that I can only pull myself out of. It's not that I can't reach out to others when I'm depressed. It just seems that I'm the only one who can effectively get me past it.
An interesting thing to note, however, is that fear of the future is an interesting thing for someone who has a difficult time remembering things to have.
So, anybody feel like sharing their fears? No pressure for those who don't wish to share.
Comments
I also fear the future
I have always been good at looking at events and being able to forecast them out into the future. Currently that future is nothing very happy.
I am a 55 year old widow who went through a pretty large set back when my husband died. Like most I dread old age and not having enough to keep myself housed and fed.
To a certain extent I think that drives much of what is wrong with our country. The fear of people that feel the need to hoard every cent to find some security for old age. Any extra taxes or costs that might cut into their ability to do that causes them more fear.
After a period of vestibular difficulties
I could not tolerate stairs going down, unless there was a rail. Panic attacks walking off my multilevel deck. Escalators always cause fear, people-moving walkways (on and off). It's moderately better now.
Extreme fear of housefires. Made it through one years ago in an adjacent apartment. Lit candles make me nervous. No go in my house. Fire extinguishers are all over the house, I know where they are and that they are charged.
Fear of being alone. Comes with widowhood if not before. Still working on that. Careful, careful to assess what I can do by myself, frustration when shit happens I can't make better by myself.
Swimming in not-pools. River and lake swimming I always fear what I can't see. And I can swim.
Future? Murky to bad.
Hey! my dear friends or soon-to-be's, JtC could use the donations to keep this site functioning for those of us who can still see the life preserver or flotsam in the water.
Rail-less stairs
I hate those. Why do people make stairs without rails? I always feel like somebody has to have fallen off of them at some point in time.
Terrified of my own cellar stairs
even though they have double rails (one each side). And for very good reason - the bottom step is two inches higher than code (and higher than the rest). I missed my footing on it. Once. That's all it took to ruin my left ankle and put me through a miserable two months in a Skilled Nursing Facility while home was cleaned up and re-organized to allow wheelchair access (the ONE thing they forgot, when building it, was an access ramp to the front door!).
I'm now so traumatized that I don't even want to use the built-in stair chair (which was there when we bought the place, and a major selling point), but would rather walk down or up the driveway unless the weather is really horrible (like pouring snakes and lizards).
PTSD? Probably.
There is no justice. There can be no peace.
Not sure
if I'd say full blown PTSD. I mean, I'm not well versed in the subject at all, so it could be. But I personally attribute most of our apprehension about things related to a stressful event to be more about our primitive survival instincts acting up.
Snakes!
If I even see one on tv I have to force myself to think about snakes to avoid nightmares about them slithering under the bed and on the floor. Totally irrational I know.
I used to be afraid of rollercoasters but got to the point I hated my job so much I didn't care if the thing broke and I died so I think I am over the fear and at the point I just don't like them. (My husband hates it when I say that!)
Frankly sitting here thinking about it I am afraid of a lot of things; losing my husband; my daughters' futures; having to work this shitty job for the rest of my life if the stock market crashes again and I lose my 401(k); Social Security going away; the housing market busting again; that I will have to take over my kids' student loan payments because they can't afford to live after college.
O.k. have to stop thinking about it because if I continue I will give myself an anxiety attack!
O.k. When is the next meeting for the revolution?
-FuturePassed on Sunday, November 25, 2018 10:22 p.m.