Why I Gave Up The Fight For Employment
For the past year or so I've just been humoring everyone by looking for work. In fact, yesterday marks the only interview I've had in the last year and a half. Maybe 2 years. I put in all sorts of applications to many different places, especially over the last 6 months, and up until earlier this month, I didn't even get a single god damned call back.
What most people I'm working with don't seem to understand is that because hiring systems are automated, it's made following up on applications or resume submissions utterly pointless. Anytime I've gone to follow up on an application the response I get is usually along the lines of 'We do everything online now.' It may make things easier on the HR crooks and hiring managers, but for those of us who bust our ass to find a job day in and day out, it makes actually getting one damn near impossible, and having disabilities which may need accommodations is bad enough.
To make things even more frustrating, I have my mother-in-law constantly tell me 'this is your year!' No it ain't. It'll never be my year. Ever. I've heard that for 4 years straight, but here I am. Still unemployed. Still with no hope of ever being employed and have basically thrown my hands up and said 'fuck it!'. I'm sure I'm not alone.
I've tried to take every direction, every avenue I can and yet I will never make any headway find meaningful employment because it doesn't exist for people with disabilities. No one seems to get it no matter how many times or ways I try to explain it. So why should I even bother?
See ya around,
Aspie
Comments
It sucks
I wish I had something helpful or uplifting to say but all I can say is it sucks. It's not right. And things don't have to be like this, that's the worst part, some jerks with loads of money like it like this and the rest of us are stuck with it.
What are you going to do?
I'm sorry to hear that you haven't been able to find a job. I had the same problem for years and once I finally found one, the little shits I worked with made my life miserable.
They kept doing things that made me look bad and they finally did enough that I got fired. My boss wouldn't listen to me about what they were doing, he kept telling me that I had no proof.
Good luck. Stick around, though?
To be honest, I have no idea.
But for now I'll just keep humoring people. It's all I have left, really.
Modern education is little more than toeing the line for the capitalist pigs.
Guerrilla Liberalism won't liberate the US or the world from the iron fist of capital.
I understand completely
Five years ago I applied for SSI disability. It was denied.
Not having a paying job since meant that when I tried again last year to get it I didn't qualify because I didn't have enough 'recent quarters' to qualify. Can't build them up if you can't really work.
I limped by and was sorta forced to take Social Security early at 62. I shouldn't have had to do that but I had no real choice.
I feel for what you're going through.
I want a Pony!
Social Security...now there's a subject I could write pages on.
To make a long story short, I got it as a kid due to being born Hemiplegic. I was switched to survivors' benefits when my dad died so the feds could save a buck. I'm not sure how common that is, but I'm sure that happens a lot.
Modern education is little more than toeing the line for the capitalist pigs.
Guerrilla Liberalism won't liberate the US or the world from the iron fist of capital.
damn buyer's labor market!
I hear everything you just said, Aspie.
I have never understood the psychology of those who could say "Today's The Day" (or "this is your year") oftener than once, ever. Honest folks don't keep telling that to themselves or others once it first becomes demonstrably false. And I've always held false hope (and yes, there is such a thing!) in far less esteem than honest despair. Why? Because honest despair is, at least, honest!
Why does that necessitate locking us out of society? I thought that truthfulness was a virtue!
I'm sorry you've fallen into this accursed pit, Aspie. I'm 57 years old, and I have never experienced a labor market in shortage or in actual balance; it's been a buyer's market my whole life.
"US govt/military = bad. Russian govt/military = bad. Any politician wanting power = bad. Anyone wielding power = bad." --Shahryar
"All power corrupts absolutely!" -- thanatokephaloides
Then there are those who say....
"Look at me! I was poor and I got up and did something about it!" Those are the folks I have half a mind to punch in the face. Sadly that's also somewhat literal due to Hemiplegia. Not a fun thing, let me tell you.
Modern education is little more than toeing the line for the capitalist pigs.
Guerrilla Liberalism won't liberate the US or the world from the iron fist of capital.
the folks I want to punch
English Translation: "I got up and started ripping people off and lying to them!"
grrrrrrrr........
"US govt/military = bad. Russian govt/military = bad. Any politician wanting power = bad. Anyone wielding power = bad." --Shahryar
"All power corrupts absolutely!" -- thanatokephaloides
it doesn't exist
Or any other sort of imperfections, no matter how small, insignificant, or job-unrelated. Employers have been, shall we say, spoiled rotten over the past 60 years or so. They can get exactly what they want, when and where they want it. Why? Because all sectors of the employment market are seriously glutted. There's no economic system devised -- or devisable -- by humans which can hope to employ the vast numbers of us who now exist. The possibility of an actually balanced employment market petered out once the world's population passed roughly 3 billion or so (we're now at 7 billion pushing 8).
It's not your fault, Aspie. Like myself and so many others, you were robbed.
"US govt/military = bad. Russian govt/military = bad. Any politician wanting power = bad. Anyone wielding power = bad." --Shahryar
"All power corrupts absolutely!" -- thanatokephaloides
Hang in there, Aspie. I am "abled" and underemployed. There
are just not enough jobs to go around. And especially not enough good jobs.
I've been pushing for a basic income for everyone regardless of employment for exactly this reason - too few jobs, even for people who want them, and likely to be fewer in the future. The idea is just starting to fire up people's imaginations. Maybe in a few decades we'll have something like that?
Meanwhile, you can write here. We love to read you!
Please check out Pet Vet Help, consider joining us to help pets, and follow me @ElenaCarlena on Twitter! Thank you.
You do not need encouragement, imo.
Aspie, giving up is not an action plan. It is surrender to your fears of failure. I am not a "shrink", although many have crossed my path, socially. True, there are many looking for either fullfilling work, or work that matches their skills. It is a fact you are not alone.
This is a safe place. Use it to vent. Also consider the many others you could help. Stop looking at your navel and begin to form your identity as a worthwhile, loving, intelligent member of any "club" you desire to join. An exit stage left/right is not a strategy or a plan. I predict that you will find your path. I expect great accomplishments from a gifted mind.
Look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see, and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious. Stephen Hawking
I do digital archiving from home to keep busy.
I just don't have many customers for it.
Modern education is little more than toeing the line for the capitalist pigs.
Guerrilla Liberalism won't liberate the US or the world from the iron fist of capital.
I suppose you've connected to your state's Rehabilitation
Services program and your state one-stop. Just know it isn't your fault. You can only do what you can do and that includes faking it. They always deny SSI. It is a part of the strategy. The more people they can discourage and have walk away, the better job they do.
When Bill Clinton's welfare reform program came into existence, there was only one positive outcome and it was case closure. Nobody cared about how or why, just how many people did you remove from the rolls.
None of this helps. I know that. No matter what happens, just always remember it isn't your fault. You didn't cause it or ask for it. In my career, I've seen so many depressed, able and disabled, unemployed job seekers beat themselves up for the boat they were in. IT ISN'T YOUR FAULT.
"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."--Napoleon
Been in and out of VR for 15 years. I know it well.
And I don't blame the people there for the situation. They're playing the hand they're dealt. It's just that you can only do so much to get a job before it becomes a lost cause.
Modern education is little more than toeing the line for the capitalist pigs.
Guerrilla Liberalism won't liberate the US or the world from the iron fist of capital.
I know your pain, the depression, the deadend streets
and how the capitalist system is tweaked to work exactly this way, to keep enough of us sufficiently unemployed, to serve as miserable examples which are enough to bring fear and subservience to the marginally employed who will cringe at the feet of their exploiters, and lick their master's boots on command.
When I quit my job after being given a whistle-blower designation, I left the work because of concerns for my personal safety. I knew the job market out there was 100% against me, now approaching 60 yrs. of age and no 'spring chicken' myself.
I reported to higher authorities what I suspected were illegal acts condoned by my department bosses. Enough to be given the specific status as "whistle-blower" in the state law books. I thought nothing of the personal consequences. I wanted to make an ethical stand.
But nothing will protect you from harassment, the indirect threats, the hostile work environment. Eventually it became a place where it was impossible to do productive labor.
I did find some part time job in a side business for myself. Legit but hard outdoor summertime work in the hot Florida sun. Not everyone's cup of tea.
I preservered, had to borrow emergency money to keep from being homeless, and each day was a life/death struggle in which I only won if and when I got home, and if and only if I found enough energy reserves left inside me to do it all over again the next day.
I know I can't keep doing this forever but the immediate benefit of the strenuous work, it was that I could shrug off the depression, the anger of all the injustice I faced, and into a mode where my survival depended on my own determination to keep going. No matter how insurmountable the obstacles are going to be placed in front of me. I feel a little more stronger internally now.
Everyone will have a different path, and I hope yours will soon find a glimmer of light at the end of a long and dark tunnel. I send prayers your way!
self-employment?
I tried to post the comment below on the day this essay appeared, but I was having lots of trouble with the site kicking me off for some reason. I hope this delayed contribution is somewhat useful.
_____________________
With your skill set, can you create your own job? You mention that you do some digital archiving and you have other IT skills. Working for a company is not the only way to support oneself.
I've been self-employed since 1994. I sit at home (in my loungewear, aka my pajamas) and I edit books for publishers. I email them the work, and they send me money. It's a skill I learned back in the 1970s when publishers were still working on paper, and I've since learned the electronic editing skills I need.
I'm not saying you should do what I do, just that there are many options for accessing some money that don't involve being the employee of a company or institution. A friend of mine supports herself with a combination of pet- and house-sitting and being an artist's model. Another staffs the farmers market table for a farmer who hates staffing the table.
I don't make a lot of money, but I spend less than many other people because I live a simple life and I also don't have the expenses that come with a "real" job (no commuting, no dress-up clothes, no lunches in restaurants or fancy coffees). It's also true that I don't have the "benefits" that come with a job: no paid vacation or sick leave, and I didn't have health insurance until I was forced into it by the ACA.
BUT (and it's a big one), I have enough time to make art, work in the garden, go to political demonstrations, and chatter with y'all, and I earn enough to support myself and pay my bills, do a little traveling and make donations. And I don't have to actually see or speak to any humans if I don't want to. I'm terrible at office small-talk!
If your SS income isn't enough to support you, please consider the self-employment route. What skills could you market? How much income would you need to consider yourself successfully employed? How many clients or customers would that take? What would be fun to do every day, especially if it brought in some cash? Brainstorm with friends, either in person or here online.
I think it's fine to give up on finding a job out in the world, but please don't give up on yourself nor consider yourself a failure in any way because the system is rigged against you.
(I also completely agree with the idea of a guaranteed income for everyone, not dependent on skills or work or anything -- but until that comes, we're stuck living in capitalism. I just try to minimize my interaction with that system since it sux so bad.)
In solidarity,
blaze
There is no justice in America, but it is the fight for justice that sustains you.
--Amiri Baraka