I joined here a couple of weeks ago -- after 10 often rough years on Daily Kos, and intense disappointment at just how off-putting that site had become. I tried to tamp down over-heated reactionaries and as a result, I endured accusations of being racist, anti-Arab colonial Zionist, pro-Arab anti-Semite, being a neo-con, a neo-lib, and a delusional free-stuff loving Clinton-hating sexist misogynist. But, I stuck with it, despite a meltdown or two banging out replies to people who had really crossed the lines of decency.

Then, the March 15 edict came down, and that site became unrecognizable. Despite some still really excellent content from front-page folks like Meteor Blades and Adam B, and community contributors like Tom P (with whom I shared the journey from supporting Edwards to being a devotee of the Sanders revolution), the site had become insanely hostile on both sides and it was impossible to have any dialogue with anyone. I began spending huge swaths of time away from the site -- like even a whole day or two, which, for me, was a huge swath of time.

Frankly, I was way too busy campaigning for Sanders to care, but did keep returning to try and fight the good fight there. But, I got a short-time out for accusing a new contributor of being a shill as he claimed to be a former Bernie supporter, but didn't start posting until he had fallen for Clinton. It was soon clear to me that I had been an asshole -- and I apologized when my privileges were restored. But, a few weeks later, I briefly questioned the bona fides of someone who purported to be a Bernie Sanders Nevada delegate who had written very critically of the behavior of Sanders' delegates (frankly, there was some deeply regrettable conduct) and praising the lady who ran the thing (ridiculous). Since it was his first diary, I challenged his contention that he was a long-time lurker and wondered about the reason for posting. When I say brief -- I mean one coment. But the guy responded to a number of people questioning his veracity to ask him anything. I wrote that i had been a poll-watcher in Nevada, and asked where he'd caucused. I was wondering if I'd be able to support his claim, if by any chance he was at a site I was at. Unlikely, but not impossible. Anyway, I was in Vegas, and he wrote that he was in a rural site. I had nothing to add so I left the discussion. Someone accused me of trying to doxx the guy - I didn't see that comment until I got a notice that I'd been suspended for three months. Again, I had been an asshole -- but, in my defense, it was tough weekend for lots of us -- but I didn't do what I had been accused of -- trying to elicit personally identifying information. My entreaties to have that suspension reconsidered were ignored. I took the hint that people like me weren't really wanted there, which I confrimed by watching the hateful anti-Sanders screeds drivel were up and down the Wreck List.

On the flip side of that coin, I was witnessing many of the Sanders supporters I'd worked with post all over Facebook what seemed to me to be delusional posts about plans to run as a independent, about pending indictments for Clinton, about vote-stealing, and other fantastical conspiracy talk that ignored the knowable facts before them. I was kinda desparate for measured, thoughtful discussion and planning for the future after this election. I didn't see any prospect of constructive dialogue in the Sanders Facebook groups. So, I thought I'd give this site a try.

With that in mind, I really want to thank you all for the 'welcome' I have received here. It has me really longing for that other site, and anxious for my 3 month time out to end.

People who don't know me and know nothing about my offline existence keep challenging things I say about my personal life. In addition, when I post a comment or an essay, I'm regularly accused of being a shill or a troll.

What am I guilty of? Well, despite working my ass to try and win votes for Bernie Sanders, without any pay (and actually at considerable personal investment of time and money), and being chosen as a delegate to represent the people in my district who voted for Sanders, I have tried to argue what Bernie has been saying all along -- that, to have a chance at winning or even just changing the debate, progressives have to run in the party, not out of it. Also, I've echoed Sanders' pledge that we must defeat Donald Trump and the GOP. Finally, today, I was guilty of writing that President Obama made a powerful statement today.

I plead guilty to having written all those things. Proudly so. I don't expect everyone to agree with me, but respecting my right to express my views is something I do expect. Even those who seem to defend my right to express my views criticize me for "telling people what to think." Apparently, I'm also guilty of not signalling that I'm just expressing my opinion -- admittedly espressed in earnest terms because I'm really worried about what happens if we see a repeat of 2000 (and, frankly, because I think it will also piss away a real chance to change the aprty and its policies in years to come). Not that I've seen anyone do that. It's normally understood that is what we're doing, but I guess if you write something that is at odds with the majoritarian consensus here, you're guilty of telling people what to think. Of course I am. That's the point. I see tremendous opportunity in the years ahead, but it requires working with people who remain in the party. So, I am, in fact, trying to change the thinking of people who claim to be determined to walk away from the party and never come back. I am not telling anyone off -- rather, I am urging them to stay open to continuing the effort that Sanders has begun within the party. But, I am certainly being told off.

There's nothing more dangerous than those in politics who close themselves off to opposing views and who demonize those who express them.

Even if the people who do that happen to right on the issues (and being as closed off as all that, they don't even accept being tested on that), not being open to working with others is antithetical to democracy.

Saying you're the real democratic folks doesn't make it so. It just sounds like you're interested in majoritarianism but only if you get to be the majority. That ain't a commitment to democracy, which is an ongoing process -- and a work in progress.

I certainly didn't get everything I wanted out of this race -- but it has opened my eyes both to the possibilities and to the hard work that needs to be done in the months and years to come. One problem I have with busters is that not only are they going on about how they want to carve themselves off from the body politic, every sign I see is that they will not get off ther devices long enough to do the unprecedented legwork needed in creating a viable 3rd Party. They'll sit at their screens and cheer if it materializes, but democracy doesn't happen that way. What I find ironic about that is that it seems to me patently obvious that it will be far easier to take control of the Democratic Party. Yeah, we came up short, but we came amazingly close. Trying to win elections from outside this party (and there's not much point in electing an independent Presidential candidate who doesn't have a constituency and allies in the legislature) will be much harder. That's the reason Sanders decided to run in the party.

We threw our weight behind Sanders, and we did magnificently. Far better than we had a right to expect. We have changed the dialogue on issues AND process. Whether you believe it or not, all the evidence is that even a lot of Beltway insiders are cheered by that. They may claim to be pragmatic about what they can get done, but most of them got into politics hoping to get a lot more done. More to the point, regardless of what happens inside the Beltway bubble, there were a lot of Clinton supporters who want action on climate change, campaign finance, economic inequality, social and racial justice. For whatever reasons -- and they probably varied from voter to voter -- they chose to support Clinton, but that doesn't change their support for the same issues we're concerned about. Now, we have a choice. To my mind, the choice that's emerging can be expressed thusly: We can sit it out, wait and hope that eventually a majority finds its way to people who have wilfully given the finger to the process now; or we can continue participate in the process as we did over the last year, working with others and recruiting allies among those who want our support.

I believe in that. I believe in the Sanders effort -- both in terms of changing the process and absolutely about changing policy.

However, I have no desire to participate in a site where the commenters persist in accusing me of lying about my role in the campaign and calling me a troll. You don't want me here? Congratulations. The Bolsheviks have suppressed another dissenting view, and you didn't need a gulag to do it. Of course, you'll scorn what I've written and make fun of the Bolshevik reference. More's the pity, because either you don't see where you're headed, or you don't see the problem there. I may be wrong about a lot of things, but at least, I know I'm not an asshole, and I refuse to let myself become one.

---------------------------------- Update -----------------------------

I appreciate the comments from those who are saying the behavior I've witnessed is not at all representative of the site. I particularly want to note some comments that have laid out some crucial information about the membership here, which I have misjudged and probably approached in the wrong way. So, please accept my apologies for that. It probably stocked off some of the hostility I've encountered, so I deserve a lump or two. Thanks all. Still not sure if this is my new home, but I'll poke around some to grok y'all before I make any more misguided assumptions.