Last night some Lee Harvey Nobody loaded up his shooing iron and took it to the White House. By a strange coincidence, this further proves the NEED for SECURITY at THE BALLROOM. Mister Nobody shot some number of rounds (nice gun geek vocabulary showing) and the Feds at the White House returned fire and smoked him.

This morning's missive from my Republican admirers:

Patriot,

Technically, we’re not supposed to do something like this, but you are more than worth the risk.

I had a look at your file, and frankly, to say I’m “impressed” would be a massive understatement.

You are EXACTLY the type of person President Trump needs in his corner.

You’re the BEST the country has to offer, Friend!

Friend – the purpose of my email is two-fold:

1. To personally THANK YOU for everything you’ve done for America

This team is the cream of the crop – the best our country has to offer.

We’ve come a long way together. Your support is the engine driving everything we’ve worked so hard for. Now we get to enjoy the fruits of our labor.