I was watching Flash Gordon (yes, that awful Dino De Laurentiis trainwreck from the 80’s) again the other day, relaxing on a bad weather day and snuggling with the dogs. Quite frankly, its one of my go-to, Saturday afternoon favorites when I want to veg for a bit. Watching Timothy Dalton try to maintain some crumb of dignity in the midst of all that horrific, mega-campy acting (?), painfully bad dialogue, and beyond cheesy scenery is just nirvana for me. “Flash! I love you! But we only have 14 hours to save the earth!” makes me giggle every time and so many other things about that movie just delight me. I’m sure the actors in it would wish it out of existence if they could, but it has brought me hours of joy over the years, so I remain grateful to Dino et al. for making it. But the other day, some of the dialogue I’d never given much thought to suddenly resonated with me:

Ming: “After the earthquakes and tidal waves they won’t be quite the human beings you remember. They’ll be more tractable, easier for you to rule—in the name of Ming.”
Flash: “You mean slaves.”
Ming: “Let’s say…they’ll be satisfied with less.”

I actually sat up a little on the couch as my brain began making some connections to this current primary season. For a second or two I was completely removed from my joyous, acid-trip universe where bore worms are the ultimate torture device and helmets gift people with telepathy, but I quickly slid right back in. The words, however, stuck with me and keep coming back around.

The first time I was eligible to vote, it was Ronnie’s second term. I never got a chance to vote for Carter, although I would have, and I sometimes wonder—in my darker moments—what our country would be like had he gotten a second term. It would have required a far more informed electorate for one thing and perhaps it would have only postponed this downward spiral. After all, Regan was picked to the be standard bearer for corporate America and everyone after him, regardless of party affiliation, has been carefully vetted to maintain a “pro-business” outlook ever since in order for the money to continue flowing upward. Barring a few local and state reps, I have spent my entire voting career pulling a lever for the person I considered less awful. For a brief and shining moment, I thought Obama was a genuine progressive—and I’m still a little mad at myself for getting hoodwinked, as I should have researched more than I did—but as soon as Rahm and Geithner wound up on the roster, I knew things weren’t going to be any better. And sadly, for 8 years, I’ve watched myself be right when I really didn’t want to be. Expanded drone strikes, unlimited spying on citizens and allies, Wall Street unprosecuted and an “all of the above” energy policy. Former big pharma CEOs nominated to the FDA, former cable company lobbyists appointed to the FCC. Capitalism is all. War forever, amen.

I don’t know if its because of Bernie or not, but I find that this year, this time, I’m done with the status quo. I can’t swallow any more of that shit. I just…can’t. I have spent over half my life learning to be “satisfied with less” because those were the only options on the table, but until now, until this primary, it never really occurred to me to just walk away from the table and not play. Its my sacred duty as a citizen to vote, I’ve always believed that. But after 30+ years of choosing between Get Screwed A Little and Get Screwed A Lot, I finally find I can’t lie to myself that continuing to vote will make a difference. In my lifetime, this is my first real chance to vote FOR someone. I’ve loved Bernie and followed his career since his early House days and I’m happy to say I’ve already voted for him in the NC primary. So have my parents (I made sure they got absentee ballots and mailed them back early). And if he (fingers and toes crossed) gets the nomination, I’ll be there the first morning of early voting, waiting in line to cast a ballot. It makes my heart soar to see him out there giving voice to all the dissatisfaction I feel about what we’ve become as a nation. Do I think he can single-handedly fix anything? No, but to see someone in that office who truly WANTS better for all of us and will use the bully pulpit to roar about it and knock us out of our complacency? That’s worth so much to me, in ways I can’t articulate. As hyperbolic as this sounds, I feel like if he can win the presidency, there’s still hope for this country.

But if Bernie is not the nominee (and its certainly not impossible but SO much is aligned against him in terms of party machinery and insider chicanery that I try not to be unrealistic), all of my energy will shift immediately (a part of it has already), to the down ballot races. I’ll help my local reps, and work to get McCrory out of office, but the presidency..I still haven’t decided if I’ll vote for Stein, leave it blank or write Bernie in, but I won’t vote for Clinton or whoever the 2016 R is. If Clinton wins the nomination, my state will go Trump (or R, if they find a way to block Trump’s brand of crazy and prop up another in his place). Happily. Proudly. I’m gonna be getting ribbed for another four years by my friends in the blue states, but..I’ve made my peace with that. To paraphrase one of my least favorite people in the history of the universe: you go to the voting booth with the state you have, not the state you might want or wish to have at a later time.

The thing that's really getting to me these days though, is the condescending attitude that OF COURSE I’ll vote for Clinton, I have to because Trump is so awful. Like a pastor certain you just need to be saved, or some crusty old professor waiting for you to understand you're wrong and they're right because, you know, they have a PhD. That smug attitude as though they think I'm some five-year-old having a temper tantrum and if they wait (patiently, patronizingly), I'll get over it. As though my reasons aren't valid. Or (worse to me) the aggressive angry version which suggests that children will starve and minorities die because I’M selfish and short-sighted. I can no more single-handedly save the world than I can destroy it. Its amazing the power I have when I don't do what other people think I should.

Soon it will no longer be “right to work states”, we’ll be a right to work nation. Union is a dirty word now and practically illegal in my state—heaven forfend that workers stick together to demand decent compensation and safe working conditions. We’re already constantly at war somewhere in the world, but soon they’ll stop trying to keep it secret—hell, they won’t have to because no one is paying attention—they’re voting like crazy on American Idol and watching their Twitter feed for Kayne’s latest meltdown, but war? meh—someone else’s problem. And the MIC will continue to profit from death and destruction and we’ll keep buying cheap shit from third world countries until the TPP sets it in motion for the U. S. to become the new third world county. When the manufacturing jobs return to our shores, I fear it will be our turn to have factories with netting around the base to prevent suicides. Those not trying to throw themselves out the window will likely be behind bars, particularly if they are minorities, because, you know, that whole underground economy has to keep growing and flourishing too. If you build a prison, law enforcement will fill it. And year after year, fewer and fewer of us will be eligible to vote and change things, but considering what our voting options are, they may not have to restrict voting rights much further to put the final nail in democracy’s coffin.

But does even that matter? This is (so far as I know) the only planet we have. Glacier National Park will soon have no glaciers, the arctic ice is frighteningly thin and summer is on the way. We’re getting hotter every year and as more fracking wells get dug and more infrastructure decays, there’s less and less drinkable water anywhere to be found. For 40 years, the corporate state has eroded the actual state, cutting into education, turning news into propaganda, making sure that it makes total sense to the majority of Americans that those poor corporations only making a billion or so a quarter really need a tax break in order to offer their employees anything besides part-time, no-benefit jobs. And mountain top removal is a good thing (much safer than mining). And fracking is how we free ourselves of foreign oil dependence (although we export more than we import now and multinational corporations have fuck-all to do with us a nation and how our resources are handled by them). It’s hard to bring about miracles with a body of 535 mostly bought and paid for wholly-owned subsidiaries of Exxon-Mobile, Verizon, Monsanto and Bank of America. If it comes down to Clinton vs R, the only difference after the election will be who’s standing behind the presidential seal telling us that tar sands are our best hope for energy independence, Shell can drill safely in the arctic, mountaintop removal is safe and necessary, clean coal is a real thing that exists, windmills kill birds (and cause herpes), incandescent bulbs are a matter of choice, and it’s too costly to invest in renewable energy.

I’m watching with all the hope and positive energy I can muster as the returns come in from Michigan today. And I donated again after the town hall last night. Now that I’ve finished my rant (and apologies, as it was a bit longer than I intended for my first post), I don’t think there’s much else I can do but wait (and be grateful this site exists because I know I'm not alone)..I think maybe I'll go pull out my old Flash Gordon soundtrack. What could be better than Freddie warbling about Flash saving the universe on a day like today?