Fortuitous Coincidence

Pentagon Pleasantly Surprised To Discover ISIS Leader Killed During Indiscriminate Bombing Of Middle East

In a development they described as a “fortuitous coincidence,” top Pentagon officials confirmed Thursday they were pleasantly surprised to discover ISIS leader Abu Ibrahim al-Hashimi al-Qurashi was killed during their indiscriminate bombing of the Middle East. “In the early hours of the morning, American forces stumbled onto the ISIS leader’s body and concluded he had been taken out at some point during our routine scattershot bombing of the region,” said Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin, describing the “unexpected treat” of pulling the corpse of the terrorist commander from rubble containing dead civilians from several unrelated U.S. drone strikes. “This victory is the culmination of a years-long campaign in which thousands of shells and munitions have exploded randomly all across the region. Frankly, we didn’t realize it had happened until we heard some radio chatter that he’d been killed. But, still, we’ll take it.” Pentagon officials added that they looked forward to expanding their counterterrorism mission until aimlessly fired U.S. explosives reached every corner of the globe.

11 users have voted.


ain’t That the f@cking truth

Hope you’re doing well, snoop.

I dunn fucked up and got adopted by a puppy. When will I learn. . .

5 users have voted.

Ya got to be a Spirit, cain't be no Ghost. . .

Explain Bldg #7. . . still waiting. . .

If you’ve ever wondered whether you would have complied in 1930’s Germany,
Now you know. . .
sign at protest march

snoopydawg's picture

@Tall Bald and Ugly

I want to hear all about the puppy. Yay. Here’s to years of happiness.

2 users have voted.

Which AIPAC/MIC/pharma/bank bought politician are you going to vote for? Don’t be surprised when nothing changes.

Voting is like driving with a toy steering wheel.

sans gallows.
If we can redefine the noun "war" to mean "war on terror", we can redefine the noun "war crime".
We are so very clever...

3 users have voted.

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981