Do impeachment hearings constitute a sitcom or Defcon 2 for the Dems?

Greetings fellow swampers and those preferring to remain dry.

Here, in my cozy California swamp, there isn't much winter activity. With the cold weather and all that congealing our circulatory systems, we prefer staying under water as much as we can. Every so often, we must ascend to the surface, take a deep "cleansing breath" and submerge once again.

Maybe it's strange that my favorite occupation (besides eating of course) is watching Demonrats making complete fools of themselves. So far the Champion is desperate abominable Adam "I have the Proof" Schiff. Here is a picture of AS showing his estimable certitude of facts not in evidence but which need to be believed because...reasons.

Here is a picture of Jerry, backed up by his acting coach, Adam "I'm no Madam" Schiff. Do not let your Epstein-induced fantasy lead you into believing for one second that Adam could be seen as having orgasmic coitus retrogradus with his pupil. First of all, Jerry is much too old for Adam. Too bad we can't question Adam or Ghislaine about the Nadler proclivities.

Now, seriously (if you can believe that I'm ever serious except when hungry), the Demonrats have been exploding with rage. Now, bear in mind, that Nancy has exceeded her Botox limit, which is now paralyzing her self control.

Remember, Nancy's daddy was a mafia don in Baltimore, and one doesn't mess with the mob.

Then of course chimes in Joe "Do your push ups" ByeDone, in his polite, almost genteel phrasing. One could foresee a battle between him and El Trumpo concerning who can be the most obnoxious.

My friends at AU Medical School have diagnosed ByeDone with frontotemporal dementia. Since I don't posses an armchair, I must take them at their word. Thus it would be false, and undoubtedly Russian-inspired, if you criticize me for parroting armchair diagnoses.

Frontotemporal dementia (FTD) classically affects adults in their fifth to sixth decade of life.These patients usually describe a gradual onset and progression of changes in behavior or language deficits for several years prior to presentation to a neurologist.[1]

FTD is traditionally difficult to diagnose due to the heterogeneity of the associated symptoms. Signs and symptoms are classified into three groups based on the functions of the frontal and temporal lobes:[3]

Behavioural variant frontotemporal dementia (BvFTD) is characterized by changes in social behavior and conduct, with loss of social awareness and poor impulse control.[5]
Semantic dementia (SD) is characterized by the loss of semantic understanding, resulting in impaired word comprehension, although speech remains fluent and grammatically faultless.[5]
Progressive nonfluent aphasia (PNFA) is characterized by progressive difficulties in speech production.[5]

Quiz:

What do you call people, riding on a train, telling the engineer to speed up, as they head off the trestle, going into the abyss?

Answer: do you really need to be told the answer?

Second question:

How much is 38 x 0?

Answer: enough evidence to provide for impeachment.

Third question: what is Defcon?

Answer: Trifurcation of Demonratic party into 3 mutually exclusive factions: neoliberal, progressive, and extra-terrestrial.

Fourth question: which witnesses should the Repugnants subpoena during the Senate impeachment trial?

Answers:
H. Rodent Clinton
Bubba
Jeffrey E. (seance and ouija board required)
Ambassador Sondland, providing he can figure out what day and where he is (note: JoJo mentored Gordon before his House Rep hearing)
Ambassador Yovanovich (word has it, that she has reluctantly refused the position of Ukraine Ambassador to Foggy Bottom)
Whistleblower Eric "Charlie boy" Ciaramella
Lt. Colonel Zindman (however, since he will be Ukraine's new defense minister, will he be afforded diplomatic immunity?)
Victoria Nuland (if she can pry herself away from her cookie cookery)
Adam Schiff (testimony to be discounted unless administered antipsychotic drugs for delusional psychosis)
Joseph ByeDone (if still able to affirm he is of sound mind--it's sad to see an elder statesman having a heart attack doing pushups defending the honor of Hunter)
Hunter "gimme a crack at it" ByeDone.
Devon Archer
Bruce Ohr, president of Christopher Steele fan club
Nellie Ohr, expert on Russia, Ukraine, ham radios and raising orchids
Michael Cohen, who will be questioned connected to an electroshock machine to remind him not to fib
Paul Manafort, who made lotsa money in Ukraine and elsewhere
12 Russian trolls from St. Petersburg, in order to find out if the Buff Bernie pictures are authentic
Tulsi Gabbard, notorious Russian agent and sower of Demonratic discord
Jill Stein, because it's hard being green and a Russkie simultaneously
Roger Stone because he always comes up with something interesting, and possessing the world record for lifetime achievement in empty boasting.

Some of you may be inclined to add other names to my list. Please do.

Remember that El Trumpo will appear along with Rudolph G. So please don't add him to the list--he is the guest of dishonor already.

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Pricknick's picture

do this in a voice. Pictures are not required with minimal editing.
Put your excellent story to a vocal recoding so all may laugh as I just did.
Read to me oh ancient one.

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Regardless of the path in life I chose, I realize it's always forward, never straight.

Frontotemporal dementia. Now that is a fierce diagnosis.

One of the bridesmaids in our wedding has it. Diagnosed in her late 50's. Born one day sooner than my wife in the same hospital. Words can't describe.

There was also a frequent poster on Jackpine Radicals that got it. Often talked about his grim prognosis.

Frontotemporal dementia. A bit like pornography. You know it when you see it. And I know you would know it when you see it.

And then we have Bernie's heart attack which you already expounded upon and which by the faithful was ignored.

Maybe the Democratic Party should do a hostile takeover of the Red Cross.

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mimi's picture

above the swamp's water, not so much as taking a 'cleansing breath'. (great photo!)

well, subpeana them all, let 'em talk and then go to bed and sleep it over. When you wake up you just need a good toothpaste and your breath will be clean and your mind so clear you can close your eyes and still see the truth for all the lies.

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mimi's picture

what's the difference between Alzheimers, Dementia, Depression and PTSD? Can you determine what kind of symptoms belong to which of the four above categories?

You are the expert, doc! Don't tell me you are not. I would be severly disappointed.

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Alligator Ed's picture

@mimi Depression is a mood disorder of pervasive sadness. More common in females. Must persist 6 weeks or longer to be diagnosed. Dementia is a cluster of disorders, some of entirely differing causation, but featuring LOSS of previously obtained cognitive and emotional functioning. Alzheimer's is the most common but only one of many forms of dementing illness.
PTSD is post-traumatic stress disorder. The stress can be any event, real or imagined, which severely disrupts the personality. I don't know if psychiatrists consider PTSD a personality disorder or not, but it can be absolutely devastating.

Hope that helped.

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mimi's picture

@Alligator Ed
more clarity about what I am dealing with in regards of my sister, my son and myself.
A doctor tried to explain to me that my sisters symptoms are caused more by extreme traumatic loss and is more of PTSD than dementia or depression. I was struggling to understand the doc.

It doesn't belong on this blog to talk about it, I lack just enough people in my life to talk about my questions. Thanks for not ignoring the questions I had, I value that a lot while at the same time I feel somewhat guilty to have put you in a situation to answer me here, where my questions didn't belong.

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detroitmechworks's picture

And yes, my most recent Essay might have started as a comment on this one... but when I got to the end of the first page... uhm... yeah, didn't want to hijack your essay, so very interesting, and it inspired a lot of thought with me and a comedy article which I just posted.

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I do not pretend I know what I do not know.