Elon Muskow, who is a nazi, is increasingly in frenzy. As in recent days he has flapped round the lands shrieking like nine banshees that today’s “Wisconsin Supreme Court race might decide the future of America and Western Civilization.”

Ye. Gods.

That state’s high court currently consists of three people of the Kleagle, and four legitimate humans. Muskow screeches that if the voters of Wisconsin do not today replace one of the humans with a Kleagleoid goosestepper, all will go dark, there will be no power anywhere, people will have to scrabble around for roots and berries to survive, and great fleets of melanins will row the boat ashore from Africa, to make all the white people go woke—maybe even enslave them.

Muskow has thus far poured at least $19 million into the race. Which might seem like a lot of money to you and me. But to Muskow it’s but a fraction of his monthly ketamine budget. Like the change regular people pull out of the couch. These monies have been devoted to a thoroughly unsane campaign portraying his nemesis as everything from “a communist” to “a lunatic.”

In reality, this woman, Susan Crawford, has never been known to parade around with pictures of Chairman Mao, or insist on demonstrable insanities—like, say, the certifiable lunacy the Kleagle won the 2020 presidential election. She’s just another native of the cheese state, who’s also spent time in the neighboring state of the people of the corn, working primarily as a prosecutor, or for the department of corrections. Commencing in 2018 she started sitting on judicial benches. But to Muskow she is anathema, because she will not slap all the wimmins into chastity belts, belts only to be unlocked so Muskow can IVF-unload his boys from brazil, cheese version.

Her opponent, Brad Schimel, Muskow’s man, is best known for filing suit to stop people from having health care. While insisting they should always have a gun in each hand, in case any melanins or woke white people might come into view. His prosecutorial experience mostly consisted of going after “Silly The Clown.” Some say that’s because Schimel had a pout-lip that should be his own name. While Wisconsin attorney general, Schimel let more than 6000 sexual-assault kits just lie around, firm in his conviction there is no such thing as sexual assault—except a woman saying “no,” which is an assault on god and man never to be borne. Schimel doesn’t know the law from a leachfield, and is willing to bend whatever he fuzzily knows of the law, till it breaks, and into a thousand pieces, if that is what the Kleagle commands. And so he is a man right up Muskow’s sphincter.

While Muskow weeps openly that if Schimel loses it will be apocalypse now, the sane and decent people know that if Crawford loses, they will just shrug, and regard it as a further indication the cheese people can’t settle on who they are.

From 1960 to 1984 the cheesers couldn’t get enough of Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan. But then in 1988 they went on a solid 24-year run where they said yes as president to Michael Dukakis, Bill Clinton, Al Gore, John Kerry, Barack Obama. Until in 2016 the Clinton II woman, figuring a state that went even for Michael Dukakis couldn’t possibly say no to her, didn’t even bother to go there. At which time the cheesers said “how ’bout some Kleagle!”

A warning bell, and clanging at about eleventy-billion decibels, had been the earlier cheese acceptance of Scott Walker as governor, a man a sort of ur-Kleagle, in his passion for dismantling the government he had been elected to oversee. The cheesers eventually soured on Walker, giving him the heave-ho when in 2018 he sought a third term—just as two years later they spurned the Kleagle for Joe-must-go. But then in 2024 the cheesers took a look at Kamala Harris and said, “okay, yeah, we voted for a black man, and even twice, but a black woman? You gotta be kidding.” And so resnuggled into the bosom of the Kleagle.

If Schimel The Clown wins today the punditry will proclaim that means the Americans want the Kleagle to be Lord God Emperor for all time, with his trusty ketamine-gobbling chainsaw Elon Muskow forever at his side.

If Schimel The Clown loses, the Kleagle and Muskow and all their many mayhem men will projectile about “rigging,” over and over and over again, without surcease, until the cows, and also the sheep, horses, ducks, anteaters, and even dung beetles, come home. We will all be deafened by their loonbin whiny-ass ululations. But lord knows. We’re used to those. By now.