According to Establishment Zombie, Bernie Is Trying to "Hillarize" Elizabeth Warren
Circle the wagons, boys! Bernie Sanders and his rabble have sharpened their pitchforks and set fire to their torches! It's time to remind them who they are.
I was rage-browsing stories about Elizabeth Warren, specifically to see if she slimed her way out of the race yet. No. But guess who slimed his way out from under a rock? Former Vermont governor Peter Shumlin! His important self spoke to Politico, because of course he did. Incidentally: Shumlin has endorsed Joe Biden, was Vermont’s governor from 2011 to 2017, and chaired the Democratic Governors Association. Just so that we're clear here.
So what did non-biased and totally-relevant-in-today's-politics Shumlin just happen to feel like saying on this random day?
"What I’ve seen in Bernie’s politics is he and his team feel they’re holier than the rest. In the end, they will play dirty because they think that they pass a purity test that Republicans and most Democrats don’t pass. What you’re seeing now is, in the end, even if he considers you a friend, like Elizabeth Warren, Bernie will come first. That’s the pattern we’ve seen over the years in Vermont, and that’s what we are seeing now nationally.”
Peter, have you been making sure to wash the fruit before you eat it? Or did you just get dusted off and handed a memo? Because I'm looking for the playing dirty part and all I see is you equating playing dirty with running against another candidate. Maybe Two Faces Warren can step aside, out of friendship for Bernie, in the name of unity, especially since she ripped his platform off... wait a minute...
The article continues:
Shumlin accused Sanders of trying to “Hillarize” Warren, saying the senator had cast Hillary Clinton, too, as an elitist, contributing to divisions in the Democratic electorate.
“We should be weakening Donald Trump, not each other,” Shumlin said. “I’m concerned that we’re seeing a replay of the kind of dynamics that didn’t allow Hillary to win.”
So no running a campaign during a primary, and definitely no facts about Warren during a primary campaign because they are true. Dammit, and stop with the elite-shaming! Say NO to Hillarizing!!1!
And "dynamics" "didn't allow Hillary to win." Today I learned voters = dynamics; shittily run campaigns = dynamics; a non-starter candidate in the human form of a curse = dynamics.
Tell us more about how Bernie fucked over Democrats - er, Vermonters:
“Don’t forget, the first office he won was beating the Democratic mayor of Burlington. He never endorsed most Democrats until his Senate career. The only way he could win the Senate seat and avoid a Democrat winning the nomination and splitting the vote in the general election has been to run for the Democratic nomination, win it and immediately turn it down.”
*sad trombone noise*
My jimmies were already sent into orbit due to the use of "purity test" and the way this guy went to bat off-topic-but-not for Omnishambles Clinton, but they just rocketed up into the stratosphere thanks to the asinine statement that Bernie should step aside for Two Faces Warren out of friendship, which is so much more important than people dying due to lack of healthcare coverage or climate change fires/flood. Those wimps should shut their mouths, right, Peter? Because Warren has plans for these things? Alrighty then!
However, a tip of the hat to the author, Natasha Korecki, for this wonderful tidbit toward the end:
Shumlin said his critique of Sanders is not sour grapes, noting that Sanders endorsed him and campaigned for him in Vermont. Shumlin also had attempted to enact a single-payer health care system in the state, an effort that ultimately failed.
So Bernie did nothing for Vermont Democrats while having the temerity to win elections against them... except endorse them... and stump for them... BUT SINGLE-PAYER FAILED IN VERMONT WHILE BERNIE EXISTED, Y'ALL.
Peter and I disagree on the definition of Hillarize; he is confusing pointing out facts with bowing down on command. In the spirit of the same unity with which Peter came forward, I propose a new definition: to hillarize someone is to attack and malign someone's character with unrelenting vindictiveness for not kowtowing. Example: "Two Faces Warren and CNN hillarized Bernie Sanders on national television at the last debate."
Full sleaze here (having trouble embedding while on my phone):