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Force Majeure

I'd like to ask the c99 community for some help with a couple of perplexing questions.

We were sitting across from one another during dinner this evening, my dinner partner and I. I wont name names to protect the innocent (me), but it shouldn't be too hard to figure out of whom I speak.

We were enjoying the second night of some chili con carne and it was delicious. I had finished about half of the bowl, the sharp cheddar on top was great by the way, when suddenly my dinner partner started coughing. Only a couple of quick coughs mind you, which is no big deal, it happens to us all. But, what caught my ear, in between coughs, was a faint sound that emanated from somewhere other than my dinner partner's windpipe, from the opposite end actually.

My dinner partner acted like nothing at all had happened, but I knew better.

"What was that?" I queried

"What?", was the disingenuous reply.

"Was that what I think it was?" As I countered the disingenuous obfuscation.

You have to understand that my dinner partner from a very young age had strict parental guidance about always telling the truth, so a confession was offered up. "Yes, but it was only a "poot".

This brings me to my first question.

This was not a one off event, it has happened a few times before, but, this was the first time at the dinner table. And to add insult to injury it happened on our second night of chili. (Hmmmm).

In times past we have debated the flexibility of the term "poot", for much the same reasons as told in this tale. My dinner partner insists that there most certainly is a distinction between a "poot" and a full blown version of the relief process.

I disagree.

I maintain that there can be no distinction. A bodily function is a bodily function and cannot conveniently be delineated into a sliding scale of pressure or resonance, however so slight. In that sense, a "poot", IMHO, encompasses a wide array of auditory stimuli that is best judged by the external senses of an impartial witness and therefore cannot be fairly determined by the one who dealt it.

So, I ask you, dear reader, am I right?

But that's not all, I have a second question.

After my dinner partner realized the dubious inherent faux pas of the attempt to re-imagine the meaning of the word "poot", and in an effort to assuage guilt, an even more egregious semantic shift was brought forth.

"I declare Force Majeure" my dinner partner exclaimed, with a look of gotcha-this-time glee in the eyes.

My dinner partner had essentially, in one fell swoop, exonerated any sense of guilt for the transgression, and therefore and heretofore, simply deflected the blame upon circumstances beyond the scope of culpability.

And effectively into perpetuity.

Essentially an excuse for the ages.

"I couldn't help it."

I ask you, dear reader, especially in this circumstance, can one evade all personal responsibility simply by declaring Force Majeure?

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Comments

there's one redeeming factor in all of this, two can play at that Force Majeure game. Biggrin

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7 users have voted.

This sounds like a lawyerly response. Were you dining with a lawyer by any chance? It seems technically if this couldn’t be helped, it is used correctly. How can that be proved one way or the other? Isn’t this a case of “he said, she said?” Perhaps you need legal advice which could be expensive and therefore not worth pursuing.

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8 users have voted.

Anya

@Anya
Maybe. Again, I hesitate to name names to protect the innocent.

It seems technically if this couldn’t be helped, it is used correctly.

But I maintain, in a scientific argument, that it could have been helped. The point of the argument is, in the final analysis, that the perpetrator (the party that dealt it) is no position to judge the veracity of the transgression in question. The perpetrator has no standing.

How can that be proved one way or the other? Isn’t this a case of “he said, she said?”

Although it's true that there are no witnesses, I stand firmly on the acuity of my auditory sensors.

And besides my dinner partner voluntarily confessed.

Perhaps you need legal advice which could be expensive and therefore not worth pursuing.

You're probably right so I'll pursue this pro se, all the way to the Supreme Court if necessary.

The truth will prevail.

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9 users have voted.
Pluto's Republic's picture

.

"A fox smells its own lair first."

....and then quickly deflects the blame upon another.

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8 users have voted.

@Pluto's Republic
I can attest to the truth of this statement.

But, deflecting blame upon "God" is another matter.

There comes a point when one must own up to a self inflicted *flatutory indiscretion.

* Flatutory as opposed to statutory.

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6 users have voted.

you've passed that sign that says "Last exit to a better and different life, road ends in some unreadable number", then yeah, Force Majeure. High mileage will do that to you,more and more stuff is out of your control.

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6 users have voted.

@Snode
eating chili two nights in a row could be considered "high mileage", but the Force Mageure argument could have and should have been deemed irrelevant with a preemptive dose of Beano. This, in and of itself, would have left the defendants case moot (pun intended).

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5 users have voted.
Lookout's picture

an old adage -
Where ever you be, let your wind blow free, cause there's more room out there, than there is in me.

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10 users have voted.

“Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

@Lookout
but in this circumstance letting one's "wind blow free" may have adverse effects on the inhabitants in the "room out there".

Let me add that the author of this important piece has since suffered from flatulence induced PTSD and may carry the scars forever. And because of this sad and sorrowful occurrence has employed the esteemed counsel of the Dewey, Cheatam and Howe Law Firm, the most prestigious practitioners of pettifoggery in a land of pettifogs.

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5 users have voted.
Cassiodorus's picture

so they can wiggle out of contracts when Iranian missiles destroy their oil storage facilities.

In contract law, force majeure (/ˌfɔːrs məˈʒɜːr/ FORSS mə-ZHUR; French: [fɔʁs maʒœʁ]) is a common clause in contracts which essentially frees both parties from liability or obligation when an extraordinary event or circumstance beyond the control of the parties, such as a war, strike, riot, crime, epidemic, or sudden legal change prevents one or both parties from fulfilling their obligations under the contract.

I would argue that force majeure is nowhere near enough in terms of the sort of wiggling they should be doing. Rather, we need some revolutionary wiggling. What would revolutionary wiggling do for your dinner partner?

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7 users have voted.

"Saying 'The lesser evil is good enough' is how we got to this point in time.” -- Dystopian Daily

@Cassiodorus
Revolutionary wiggling is exactly what my dinner partner deployed by declaring Force Majeure and absolving themself of any responsibility.

To me, a more honest response would have been:

Flip-Wilson-The-Devil-e1673974089932.jpg
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4 users have voted.

Greg Abbott was jogging in the rich River Oaks neighborhood in Houston. A tree limb fell on him and rendered him a paraplegic. He sued the billionaire owner of the property upon which the tree grew. The Billionaire claimed force majuere. However, the claim of negligence for not trimming the tree won the day and gave us a new billionaire.
In this case, one could argue that willingly eating chili con carne beats the force majuere claim. But digging deeper into the weeds while wearing a gas mask, one must examine the trigger event: coughing. Caused by pollen. Force majuere, no culpability except The Great Spaghetti Monster.
(I should send this to my law school for their moot court project. Call it "Poot Court".)

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5 users have voted.

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981

@on the cusp
the perpetrator (I'm not pointing any fingers) could have mitigated the use of Force Majeure by promptly running to the restroom to, pardon the expression, "poot" in private, pollen aside.

Therefore, given that the perpetrator did willingly refuse to mitigate this grievance by not rushing off to the restroom to relieve themselves of the "poot" in question, and by blaming a "pollen induced cough" has nullified any tenet of the Force Majeuer vehicle.

Neener neener.

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4 users have voted.
usefewersyllables's picture

in the case of unexpected flatulence? Absolutely.

Especially if one draws mud, of course. (;-)

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5 users have voted.

Twice bitten, permanently shy.

@usefewersyllables
especially after what I've been through the last many months. Even with that caveat, at my age any attempt at flatulence is a very careful proposition.

Butt, in this instance, I contend that my dinner partner willfully and joyfully passed gas and then relieved themselves of all responsibility, to my detriment, while employing the disingenuous guise of an involuntary "cough". A sneak attack, if you will.

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4 users have voted.
usefewersyllables's picture

@JtC

Having grown up in a very small town in the hills of Arkansas, I have always taken great pride (rightly or wrongly) in my innate, Gawd-given ability to fart at will. That is a necessary adjunct to life in that neck of the woods: you do not want to be the one unarmed person in any get-together. But I can definitely see the sneakiness of it in the current context under discussion...

I certainly agree on this: advancing age, and various medical challenges, really have put a bit of a damper on my willingness to wilfully outgas in public situations. It can get downright ugly, and is one of the reason that to this very day I carry emergency underwear in my laptop case; and no, I'm not even making that up! (;-)

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6 users have voted.

Twice bitten, permanently shy.

@usefewersyllables
farting is mother nature's best joke, it's always good for a laugh. Except in those dreadful moments of lapse of control. One must be careful that the joker doesn't become the joke.

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3 users have voted.
orlbucfan's picture

dummy aka me? As long as the flatuence in question is not the body signaling a problem, it's no big worry.

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4 users have voted.

Inner and Outer Space: the Final Frontiers.

@orlbucfan
in the essay body above and also the definition in Cassiodorus' comment above.

In essence it's a legal construct to absolve responsibility or fault in certain circumstances by placing blame on an act of mother nature or an act of God.

Foe example: if a person doesn't scoop their sidewalk after a snowfall, and subsequently someone falls and gets hurt while walking on said sidewalk, the person that did not scoop the walk is not responsible for the injury because the snow fall was an act of nature or an act of God, choose your reasoning.

The person's body in this instance is not signalling a problem. The problem applies to the recipient of the flatulence release and all the trauma induced by this act upon said recipient.

Which brings up another question: Can an atheist declare Force Majeure, an act of God?

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5 users have voted.
orlbucfan's picture

@JtC When I first saw the phrase, I thought it's French for Major Force. Some bean-caused flatulence would fit that interpretation. Smile Of course, an atheist can apply a Law of Nature. Good to see your wry sense of humor surfacing. How are you feeling?

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5 users have voted.

Inner and Outer Space: the Final Frontiers.

@orlbucfan
I'll be putting up an essay addressing that in the next few days.

Thanks for asking.

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6 users have voted.
QMS's picture

@orlbucfan
.
My first reading was farce manure.
Butt it was early. Wink

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5 users have voted.

Zionism is a social disease

orlbucfan's picture

@QMS "Very clever, Howie." Smile

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4 users have voted.

Inner and Outer Space: the Final Frontiers.

enhydra lutris's picture

@JtC

which is complicated insofar as there is no god, and contrariwise, according to some half-wit judge of yore, clauses invoking "acts of god" cannot apply to natural disasters becasue god would nog willfully cause death and destruction (go tell that to the amelikites and residends of sodom and gomorrah, worshippers of Baal, etc.)

be well and have a good one

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5 users have voted.

That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

enhydra lutris's picture

SCIENCE is just beginning to understand the extent to which the gut runs the entire mind-body and the mechanism(s) by which it does so. Imagine a combined sympathetic and parasympathetic feedback loop involving, among other things, the Vagus nerve and the gut biota. This is an emerging field of research. Who knew. There may be ancient wisdom embedded in the phrase "trust your gut". Suetonius tells of a man who nearly died from holding in flatulence out of modesty and how the emperor Claudius considered an edict permitting farting at banquets as a result. There are other variants of this tale as well. One might assert that it is the gut which "works in wondrous ways".

I suspect that the warning and control mechanisms wane with age, why else "old fart"?
Just sayin'.

Meanwhile, btw, something is eating my comments, I just lost a ong one in today's OT, but it may be here, because other applications keep dropping out, but yesterday, for sure, c99p flickered on and off line for some time? Have we been under attack?

be well and have a good one

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4 users have voted.

That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

QMS's picture

@enhydra lutris
.
somehow disappeared. Bit of a hassle.
We shall overcome.

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4 users have voted.

Zionism is a social disease

@enhydra lutris
in the vast research I've done in regards to my current malady, gut biota is a potential cause of many gastrointestinal problems, including colorectal cancer. I find it intriguing.

Didn't know that about emperors Suetonius and Claudius. What a gas those banquets must have been. I would have imagined that Caligula would have mandated flatulence parties, as wild as his reign was.

I wear the "old fart" moniker as a badge of honor, as apparently does my dinner partner as well, illustratively.

We've been bombarded by a plethora of distributed requests to our database the last couple of days, most likely by spammers. I can't block the whole range of IP addresses without blocking a large swath of potential visitors. So we just have to wait them out until they're through with their games.

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5 users have voted.
enhydra lutris's picture

@JtC

regarding matters pertainins to the gut and gut biota. The main thing that we seem to know is that our ignorance is vast. For instance, there is sereious evidence but no proof that infection with certain very specific nematodes, in low concentrations can help manage or treat certain autoimmune diseases. Imagine going to a pharmacy and asking for a quart of hookworms or somesuch.

Very glad, btw, that you are staying on top of and seemingly ahead of your condition.

be well and have a good one

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5 users have voted.

That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

new_fragrence.jpg

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"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981

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Sima's picture

@on the cusp
That was funny! And true!!!

Long ago, when I met my husband, he would give me a really strange look every time I'd 'hide' a fart. This was something I did that I had been trained to do by my mother; 'good' women do NOT fart!! After a while hubby said, 'Come on, it's human, just do it! No need to be ashamed!' And so, we started our fart competitions. Beans for a meal? Competition in a bit! Smile Smile

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4 users have voted.

If you're poor now, my friend, then you'll stay poor.
These days, only the rich get given more. -- Martial book 5:81, c. AD 100 or so
Nothing ever changes -- Sima, c. AD 2020 or so

@Sima would rather die on the vine than expel gas around people they thought might tell somebody they, ya know, farted.
But Sima, pollen induced coughs can and do break down the societal norms and dictates of ancient yore. I am the exemplar! (What did those good women do? Scream? Then wave a hanky or apron around?)

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4 users have voted.

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981