I don’t believe in publicly distributing mugshots. I think it’s cruel. It’s a relict of public shaming, and humans should be beyond that. Like they’re beyond stocks, and scarlet letters. You forcibly photograph someone in what for many will be the nadir of their life, and then you throw out the pics for all and every, so they can laugh, and call them names. No wonder the space aliens won’t let the humans into the family of stars.

Too, mugshots are taken when a person is but arrested. Not convicted. It may later develop the mugshot should not have been taken at all. Like, I’ve been arrested three times. In one case I was acquitted, the second case was dismissed by the district attorney, it was only in the third that I pled: okay, I guess I was a felon. Yet I was mugged all three times. This was before every Tom, Dick, and Harriet got their mugs dumped into all and every tube, so as far as I know I was never publicly scarlet-lettered. But I suppose the shots are still out there, and somebody could dig them up, and tube them, if they felt like it.

When I was a child, back in covered-wagon days, you really only saw mugshots in the post office. On those Wanted posters depicting serious miscreants who were out there somewhere on the run. This I suppose is warranted. As these people are certified Dangers. Like the January 6 orc, convicted, who the other day didn’t show for his sentencing, gone underground, in hopes the Americans will prove themselves even more insane than they were in 2016, and thereby in 2024 return the Kleagle to the White Power House, where he has vowed to pardon all the many and manifest traitors who stormed the Capitol on his behalf, to there murder, rapine, and overthrow the government.

It is said the Kleagle’s lawyers are in this moment furiously negotiating to relieve the crime lord from getting mugged when he turns himself in tomorrow in Atlanta on his most recent tsunami of felonies. But it may not work. As so far there he has been forced to post cash bond, with his release conditioned on not threatening, harassing, or intimidating victims, witnesses, or court officials. For the Fulton County DA has said she intends the Kleagle and his criminal confederates be treated the same as any other miscreant. Which would mean he would be mugged.

All this fills the Kleagle with rage. The DA is a black woman, and the Kleagle hates black people with all that he is, and he hates women just as much. The notion that he would be subject in any way to any black woman makes him want to bring it all down, like some obese orange Samson. He is meanwhile jawboning like an ass, melting all of our minds. Since every other Tom, Dick, and Harriet these days gets their mugshot in the tubes, I suppose it only fair the Kleagle should too. But I’ll take no pleasure in it. And you won’t see it from me.