An appeal for better konspiracy theories
"Wolfie" was a drunk at this local dive bar I used to go to.
One night Wolfie told us the story of when he saw Bigfoot.
"So there he was, silhouetted against the trees in the moonlight.
Slowly I pulled my rifle out of my saddlebag. I had him dead-to-rights.
I lined up the bead, but just then - Bang!
A damn alien ship comes up over the horizon and spooks him.
He jumped before I squeezed off a shot. Missed him. Never got another chance at Bigfoot."
Was the alien ship in league with Bigfoot. Wolfie never confirmed it but he did imply it.
We'll never know, and it's probably better that we don't.
My point is, that's an entertaining konspiracy theory.
It's one kind.
Another kind of konspiracy theory is one that's probably true.
Such as the Kennedy assassinations, or that the government knew about 9/11 beforehand.
Both kinds of konspiracy theories are great, and I strongly approve of them.
I'm less of a fan of unlikely konspiracies that are bland and depressing.
Unfortunately the recent konspiracy theories on C99P haven't baked long enough. They are still a bit raw.
Not enough work had been put into them.
Either the motivations are unclear or hard to understand. Or the payoff is benign and unsurprising.
Just because someone agrees with your statement of "It's hopeless. We're all screwed. Everyone is out to get us" doesn't mean you've made a convincing case. It only means that misery loves company.
This is a call to do the legwork. Show us why it's hopeless. Why we're all screwed. Why everyone is out to get us.
Not because you believe it. Show us evidence that it's hopeless and we're all screwed.
I think we all deserve better konspiracy theories, and I believe that the writers here are more than capable of this task.
This is the era of Trump after all. Think big!