If you've watched TV or watched videos on the internet, chances are you've seen Hillary's latest ad about how she's spent her whole life 'helping children'. Well, here's what it would sound like if this ad were honest:

Hillary Clinton has dedicated her life to "helping" children. During her time as first lady, she campaigned to take food from the mouths of children when she championed then President Clinton's welfare "reform" bill in the 1990s. She also gave speeches referring to minority children were super predators (Clinton: "They must be brought to heel") while campaigning in favor of a bill that led to the incarceration epidemic we have seen in the time since its passage.

As a senator, Clinton "helped" to displace millions of children in the middle east by voting in favor of the Iraq War in 2003 (Clinton: "This is the toughest decision I've ever had to make."). And in 2007, she spearheaded initiatives that pushed for war with Iran (Clinton: "The Iranian Republican Guard must be declared a terrorist organization!").

During her time as Secretary of State, she was a liaison for many authoritarian regimes who "contributed to her Foundation" in exchange for military weaponry. She also sent child refugees back to Honduras (Clinton: "We have to send these children back to send a message."), a country whose democratically elected government she helped overthrow for the benefit of her corporate donors.

As president, she has vowed to "help" more children by finalizing the Trans Pacific Partnership. A trade deal that will hand the world's governments over to a corporate tribunal that can 'negotiate' with countries for whatever it deems as 'lost profits'.

"I'm Hillary Clinton, and I want to be president because I wanna break that glass ceiling. It's my turn, America!"

Hillary Clinton. Because it's her turn.

....Yeah, I shouldn't quit my day job. Damn years long political fatigue, now I can't even do a proper satire!

See ya around,

Aspie