There are already more Democrats trying to be the president than there are benzenes in the waters. So I am throwing some out. We will start with those whose names are just Wrong. Tulsi Gabbard: too much like Gabby Hayes, unsane sidekick in a bazillion B westerns. John Hickenlooper: a man with a name like Hickenlooper is a man who will wear a propeller beanie. Pete Buttigieg: a name that looks like it's pronounced "butt gig" will engender snickers in a thousand classrooms. Beto O'Rourke: like the street name of a three-card-monte hustler in some lesser David Mamet play. Okay. So these people, they are finished. Over. I will hear no more about them.