Overlooked in all of the holiday hoopla are those of us who aren't in the festive mood. We just don't feel the joy others feel for many reasons. Some reasons are social, some reasons are biochemical. Yet we are at our greatest risk while everyone else is in a party mood - and that makes things much worse for us. Knowing the signs of some one who isn't a God Rested Merry Gentleman can help holiday celebrants avoid enabling a bad situation.

Seasonal Affective Disorder afflicts many of us, and by itself can cause the Holiday Blues. Those of us who suffer this malady will sink into a funk around Halloween as the daylight period becomes noticeably shorter. We don't emerge from it until late March, after the winter storms have had their run and spring is in the air.

SAD can cause us to overdo things which aren't good for us, such as overeating all those goodies everyone has in abundance at this time of year. The heavy sugar and fat content contained in the cornucopia of sweets everyone has is like poison to us, yet many of us have a hard time abstaining due to our low emotional state. Limiting our consumption is not likely even though we know from experience that it only makes things worse. We feed ourselves too much because of our lowness, and because we have associated eating with well-being and feeling good. We crave well-being, yet the search for it goes unrequited no matter how much we consume.

Everyone is going to encounter one of us at some point in the holiday period. We have an obligation to not impose our pain on others. But we usually fail to meet this obligation because we aren't on our best behavior due to our emotional collapse. We'll put on the fake smile and join the party even though we'd rather hide our heads under a pillow and shut it all out. We just want it over with so we can return to the drudgery that our lives of quiet desperation facilitate. It's easier to handle when it looks like everyone else feels as we do. This is why those of us with less tolerance for the holiday cheer we don't feel end up picking fights and seemingly try to make everyone miserable. We tend to bring you down to our level if you allow it. Defusing the explosion is usually as simple as connecting on a personal level and minimizing the holiday cliches as conversation. We already feel losses we can't always explain, and such common sayings only exacerbate our issues.

We have a similar problem regarding alcohol, for the party doesn't start until the pouring does, right? For a brief period, we might even feel connected to the group as ethanol works its magic on our feelings of separation. But we inevitably pour way too much down our throats for our already depressed selves to manage properly, and make what started off not good into something much worse.

Therefore, we SAD people end up working out how to get through this period of false forced holiday bonhomie without causing harm to our relationships if we can't avoid being included in holiday festivities. I try to make sure I avoid inclusion by working the holiday and letting someone else have it off. It's my way of celebrating something I'd rather avoid.

Maybe Garbo had the right idea after all.