I thought long and hard about this site after JtC's essay yesterday. It was sad to hear that people have left the site and some have withdrawn donations. What is there for me to say? Well, a lot really.

To begin, I intend to focus on what I know about c99. And what I know is that this community has great value to me, and, I believe, to many other people.

Now, I've written a fair amount of essays here. Not as many this year as last, but still more than enough to have learned a little about c99 folk, or at the least, those of you who choose to respond to the essays I've posted. And here's what I like about this community.

1) Your compassion.

I don't have to dig very hard to find evidence of this trait among you. Consider my essay from November 30th. It's the one in which I described in detail my experience being raped. Now, you don't need to read the essay, but take a look at the comment thread. I wasn't sure how people would react when I posted it. To be honest, I was worried that I might be making a big mistake. But read the comments. I was wrong to worry. What was the response I got from this community? Validation for my suffering, acceptance, empathy and caring from everyone who commented.

And that hasn't been the first time this has happened to me here, either. I've posted about the struggles of my wife, recovering from cancer and brain damage. I've written about my sexual orientation (I'm bi, by the way), my own disability, etc. Each time the community has come forward to tell me that they value me, and my personal stories, stories I often wrote, in complete honesty, as a form a therapy for myself. But your acceptance and more than that, the manner in which you responded to my posts felt like the bestowal of grace. A grace not given by some unseen deity in the sky, but by the people here living on earth, people who did not judge me for my deviations from the "norm," differences that are a big part of who I am as a human being. I can't tell you how much your acceptance and good wishes and good will have meant to me. It's beyond my ability to repay.

And, I'm willing to bet that others here have experienced similar reactions at c99 when they have discussed difficulties or problems in their lives. I can recall several off the top of my head, though I'm not going to name them - well, except for JtC. Remember when he wasn't sure he could continue to operate this site due to insufficient financial resources? Remember how so many of us rallied to create a donation drive to save this site? I do. But my essential point is the same. C99 is a place where good people help one another. We may not always agree about everything, but one consistent trait I've seen among longtime members is this compassion for those in need, for those in pain, not only in our community, but around the world.

2) The diversity of opinion expressed and encouraged here.

I was angry when I, and many like me, were effectively kicked out of Daily Kos in March 2016 for literally not toeing the Party line. For being censored and attacked and verbally abused by well organized gangs. But that was a blessing in disguise, for I found this place (through a link posted at DKos), and it has been a life saver. For years I wrote and posted my stuff at the Orange Satan, but always with the knowledge that often I self-censored myself, and with a feeling from many there that caused an underlying tension, a tension that resulted directly from the antagonism shown toward those who did not promote the approved line, whatever the approved line of the day might be.

Well, c99 does not censor what I write, nor does it make me feel the need to censor myself. And in addition to that liberating experience, it also led me to read and interact with a group of intelligent people of varying political and cultural views, knowledge and life experience. I can't tell you how many times I have learned something new because of an essay posted here, but more often than not from an insightful and detailed comment that was often better than many of the essays I wrote myself on the subject. That interaction has led me to do further research on a variety of subjects, from economics, philosophy, science, history and political movements. I learned information that I previously didn't know existed, expanding the horizons of what I thought I knew.

That's what the people here at c99 did for me, and its a great treasure. Because around the web there simply aren't many forums that will permit discussion without censorship of some kind, explicit or implied. This is a safe harbor in a sea of vitriol and "weaponized" thought control. I felt like I could breath for the first time in many years when I became a member.

3) The general willingness to debate issues in good faith.

All right, I confess. I had to qualify this one. In general, though, I believe it holds up. Most arguments and disputes here in the comments are handled between the people involved in a respectful manner. Obviously, that is not always the case, as the recent disputes and fights over what for shorthand purposes only I will call the #MeToo issue. But I believe that if we look back over the history of the site, these types of disputes have occurred less often and have been less nasty and strident and divisive than I've found elsewhere. To a certain extent, I think most c99 members grew accustomed to a level of civility and respect not seen outside the friendly confines of this site.

That is what makes the recent rancor among some (not all) c99er's o so disconcerting and hurtful. Perhaps it was unavoidable. The issue of sexism and sexual harassment faced primarily by women, though it pervades society at a systemic level, is also very personal and yes, people, very traumatic for the victims. After I wrote my rape story, I received several personal messages (and some people posted public comments, as well) about the pain they continue to carry with them as a result of a sexual assault. Frankly, I did not expect that, though, I should have. I certainly know how these stories in the media have triggered me.

It should come as no surprise that many other victims were triggered as well. And, in my opinion, we need to listen to the stories the women here at c99 are telling us about themselves, about how this abuse and the miasma of silence that surrounded that abuse, affected their lives. We have come to accept that veterans of war suffer from PTSD, even those who did not personally go into combat. So I do not understand the reluctance by some to simply listen to the women who have been effected, regardless of the "spectrum" (as Matt Damon so artlessly and inaccurately described it) of the misconduct perpetrated upon them.

So what about #MeToo at c99 (i.e., where do we go from here)?

I have no issue with considering why, at this particular moment in history, traditional, corporate media is obsessing about these high profile scandals. What was long hidden from public view is now constantly in the news. However, the two subjects, (a) the media obsession with sexual misconduct scandals among the elites, and (b) the use of sex to oppress and harm women are separate and distinct concerns.

When the latter topic is promoted over the underlying issue of abuse, it does feel like a dismissal of the pain victims suffered. I say that because that is how I felt about it when the Mat Lauer story was subverted by supporters of Hillary Clinton to explain away, once again, why she lost to Trump. But regardless of what I or you or anyone else believes is important about #MeToo, we have to address it the way we traditionally have addressed any other issue that is up for discussion at c99, with the willingness to listen to others, to take in what they say, and to not let anger or fear or other emotions cause us to lash out or misunderstand or resort to ad hominem attacks.

I believe I understand why gjohnsit wrote his essay about androphobia that unfortunately became the focal point of so much of the recent controversy here. I'm a man, at least according to what my genitals tell me, even though I do not identify with what many in American society consider masculine traits and roles. I sometimes experience the same vibe he expressed in his essay, a general sense that I am not trusted because of my appearance and gender. It's an unfortunate situation, because I believe that the majority of men do not engage in sexual misconduct and should not be blamed for the sins of a minority.

But I also know the stress of trauma caused by sexual abuse, at whatever level, and how that impacted my life. I can only guess at how the trauma of sexual abuse, in what ever manner it was experienced by the women here at c99, has impacted and continues to impact their lives. But isn’t that the purpose of empathy? To find something in our own experience to help us understand as best we can harms to which we have not been exposed, and then express solidarity with the people who suffered that harm? Can't we learn from our fellow female c99 members enough to be able to express empathy for them and to discuss solutions to what is a long term societal problem that in the end has negative consequences for everyone? I think we can.

But that's just my opinion. I'm not a fountain of wisdom, or a magician who can wave a wand and get us all to get along. But, I know that most c99ers are, as I noted above, good people who have acted many times in the past to help others, even others with whom we disagree. And to me, that is why I want c99 to continue. And not just to continue, but to grow. JtC is a wonder, and we are privileged to have him, as well as all the other original founders of this little corner of cyber space. But he cannot rectify or prevent all problems that arise in this community, including the one that has led to so much divisiveness over the past month. In the end that responsibility falls on all of us.

I for one am willing to make that attempt because I do place great value on c99 not just as a progressive website where I can post my meandering thoughts, but even more so as a community of people I've come to appreciate, many of whom I'm proud to call friend. I hope you feel the same way.

Steve