Essay Title Contest

Submitted by snoopydawg on Fri, 01/21/2022 - 1:21am
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Oh well no mean tweets
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Submitted by QMS on Fri, 01/21/2022 - 5:45am
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That brain is definitely lost.
No wonder he doesn't give press conferences.

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Submitted by mimi on Fri, 01/21/2022 - 5:55am
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I just can't remember. That's the title I propose. I have compassion with him. I am the same way, don't know what I am thinking and what I am saying.

Poor us, luckily I am not a President.

Just imagine what chaos I would lead the world into, if I were a President. Biggrin

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Submitted by Lookout on Fri, 01/21/2022 - 7:04am
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Poor Joementia...poor us.

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“Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

Submitted by usefewersyllables on Fri, 01/21/2022 - 8:09am
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dolor sit amet, um, consectetur adipiscing elit, um, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et um, er, dolore magna aliqua....

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Twice bitten, permanently shy.

Submitted by CB on Fri, 01/21/2022 - 7:15pm
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@usefewersyllables
Velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur? Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum!!! Diablo

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Submitted by mimi on Fri, 01/21/2022 - 7:39pm
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@CB
into German. Sigh.

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Submitted by usefewersyllables on Sat, 01/22/2022 - 12:42am
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@CB

but less orange… (;-) I wonder what they put in Brandon’s IV drip to make him this “coherent”, so to speak?

For Mimi: the whole “Lorem ipsum” thing is nonsensical Greek, intended to fill sample pages of text with meaningless but plausible words, in order to allow editors/graphic artists to compose pages/graphical entities as art objects without focusing on the words they contain. People like to credit Microsoft with it, but the process of “Greeking” text predates desktop publishing by many decades. It certainly has been used since the days of hot metal typesetting, and I have no idea when the concept originally arose.

I do remember my dad Greeking text by just carving random Linotype slugs in the right font to fit the page composition, in order to provide a client with a typographical sample for a job- back in about 1965. Aldus later used those exact words for their Pagemaker logo for a while in the ‘80’s, but the exact original source is probably lost.

Anyway, even reading it off the TelePrompTer, Brandon would still insert “um”s in it, and he wouldn’t have understood a word of it in any case. Might as well have been Greek. Kinda like this (that I posted the other day), but slower and without the catchy beat. Song and dance. Synchronicity, anybody?

https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/s2myx5/italian_si...

(Disclaimer: grew up in a printshop in the 60’s, and made many a yummy snack out of a slurry of shaved type metal and 50W lube oil, acetone, MEK, and trichlor- from the time I was 5 on. Cut my teeth shoveling type metal into the Monomelt melter pot/metal feeder on our Mergenthaler Linotype Model 15, and still have the scars)… That may actually explain a lot, come to think of it…

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3 users have voted.
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Twice bitten, permanently shy.

Submitted by mimi on Sat, 01/22/2022 - 3:37am
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@usefewersyllables
use fewer syllables. That is defiitely a good idea. Aplogies if I don't get and understand most of the syllables I read on C99p. Beyond my pay grade.

Have a good one and stay healthy.

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Submitted by CB on Sat, 01/22/2022 - 12:40pm
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@usefewersyllables
Isn't that the great degreaser that gives your new pair of rubber gloves a half life of about 3 minutes before the fingers fall off and your fingernails get soft?

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Submitted by usefewersyllables on Sat, 01/22/2022 - 1:23pm
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@CB

And your hands turn chalky white and crack, because it leaches all the skin oils out. But when you gotta clean down to change the press over from black to a specialty or process color, and you really gotta get it clean- there’s nothing better than pouring a few ounces into a shop towel and simply scrubbing the ink fountain and rollers by hand. And of course, at the end of the day, you gotta get that ink off your hands as well, so you just soak ‘em in it. Trichlor (with maybe a little MEK for the bouquet), then Boraxo hand soap with pumice, then Jergen’s to make ‘em not bleed so much. Don’t need any contrast color in that black-only job, now.

And no- there wasn’t a glove to be found anywhere on the premesis. The joys of the printing trade in the 60s. Print shops just don’t smell as nice, since the EPA took all the good solvents away… But at least I did learn to read upside down, backwards, and mirrored before I even got into my teens. So it wasn’t *all* bad.

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Twice bitten, permanently shy.

Submitted by NYCVG on Fri, 01/21/2022 - 9:24am

What plan?

How the Democrats intend to Assure they will lose all power and disappear off the radar ASAP.

Exhibits B and C----the often cited failure to do anything or say anything that voters care about.

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NYCVG

Submitted by doh1304 on Fri, 01/21/2022 - 4:33pm

but I had to turn it off. I hate Joe, but that was just inhuman.

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On to Biden since 1973

Submitted by Bisbonian on Fri, 01/21/2022 - 6:15pm
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What it is ain’t exactly clear.

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"I’m a human being, first and foremost, and as such I’m for whoever and whatever benefits humanity as a whole.” —Malcolm X

Submitted by enhydra lutris on Fri, 01/21/2022 - 6:49pm
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@Bisbonian

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That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --

Submitted by JtC on Fri, 01/21/2022 - 6:52pm

@Bisbonian
in your rear view mirror.

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Submitted by QMS on Fri, 01/21/2022 - 7:15pm
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@JtC

best not to look
sleep better that way

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Submitted by Bisbonian on Fri, 01/21/2022 - 8:34pm
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@QMS Oops!

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"I’m a human being, first and foremost, and as such I’m for whoever and whatever benefits humanity as a whole.” —Malcolm X

Submitted by on the cusp on Fri, 01/21/2022 - 8:47pm

catatonic.
edit: meant for the cat essay. Sorry.
But, I am catatonic, if anyone is curious.

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"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981

Submitted by on the cusp on Fri, 01/21/2022 - 11:17pm

is...is...on...f f f fire... US?! US?!

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"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981

Submitted by Sima on Sat, 01/22/2022 - 4:33am
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My Dad, who is 86, is in mid to late stage dementia. Brandon is just the same as Dad, but not quite as 'advanced' in his dementia. It's hell to watch with my Dad, hell to go through. Brandon SHOULD NOT BE PRESIDENT.

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If you're poor now, my friend, then you'll stay poor.
These days, only the rich get given more. -- Martial book 5:81, c. AD 100 or so
Nothing ever changes -- Sima, c. AD 2020 or so

Submitted by on the cusp on Sat, 01/22/2022 - 1:26pm

@Sima My Mom had dementia due to brain damage. It was tough to see my Mom, with her genius IQ, lose her ability to walk, and to talk in a legible way. But she knew her children, she knew Dad, so we were spared that.
I hope your Dad will always remember who you are.

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"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." ---- William Casey, CIA Director, 1981

Submitted by Sima on Sat, 01/22/2022 - 5:58pm
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@on the cusp As you know, it is so tough to watch the decline, to be a part of helping them live as best they can through it. Heh, my Dad forgot my name about 3 years ago. He knows who I am, that I am important to him, to 'that woman' (my Mom), to 'her' (my sister - she's severely autistic and has lived with them all her life. She's 56 now!). But back when he still tried to say my name, I was my aunt, my grandmother, my mother, etc. Sometimes he got my name, most times he didn't. It used to be important to me, but I have to admit the changes that came after are worse, so now I don't really care. I'm important to him, he loves me, and he shows that as best he can. I adore him and he's the second most important man in my life (husband is first). That's enough.

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2 users have voted.
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If you're poor now, my friend, then you'll stay poor.
These days, only the rich get given more. -- Martial book 5:81, c. AD 100 or so
Nothing ever changes -- Sima, c. AD 2020 or so