Another Slice of Marbled Rye?

Marbled Rye is shorthand for my theory of Newton’s 3rd Law of Politics: for every Republican scandal (pumpernickel) there is a corollary Democratic scandal (rye) which is comprised of roughly the same ingredients.

To a non-partisan consumer, they are equally unpalatable and the entire marbled loaf is best avoided. To partisans, there are critical differences which somehow make one scandal acceptable and the other unacceptable. The distinguishing feature determining digestibility of the bread is which Party committed the behavior. Republicans consume masses of pumpernickel with no issues, but the caraway seeds of Democratic rye stick in their craw. Democrats chow down on rye but find that pumpernickel causes bloating which can only be relieved with large doses of cognitive dissonance.

The original marbled rye loaf was baked over email servers. Private email servers were determined by Democrats to be corrupt vehicles for opacity and corruption when deployed by the RNC in the Bush administration, but turned into benign appliances for privacy and convenience when used by the Democratic Secretary of State to exclusively conduct her official business.

The next loaf of marbled rye was baked over handling classified information and national security.

Although severely castigated by (some) media and the FBI Director for grossly negligent handling of such important communications, the Democratic rye of Hillary Clinton was determined to lack one crucial ingredient – intent. HRC didn’t mean to be grossly negligent, she just was. It will be interesting to see if the Republican pumpernickel of DJT blabbing to Russians will be found upon laboratory analysis to also lack that same critical element. Which, speaking of, most people, especially jailed plebes, were surprised to find out that our elites have this legal out in their miscreant behavior – they have to intend to be miscreants and leave memos lying around saying, “Huma, I know this is grossly negligent of me, but fax that highly classified memo to the secure room the State Department put in my house where my no-clearance domestic help can pick it up for me.”

Donald comes close with his tweeting, but so far he hasn’t sent one yet saying “Lavvy enjoyed my “great intel”! I told I had a special surprise for him that Putey would get a big charge out of as well.”

We also have a loaf of marbled rye that was baked over unsavory connections to Russians and money, which believe it or not, BOTH of our Presidential campaigns and their candidates were rife with. Here is a nice summary by Investor’s Business Daily:Oops: The New York Times Accidentally Exposed "The' Hillary Clinton-Russia Nexus'! which does a great job of juxtaposing Trumps’connections with Hillary’s. I won’t excerpt it, but to get the full import you have to read both the IBD piece and the NYT editorial it is lampooning.

I have to interject here that IMO, a lot of the shock and horror of Washington and the media elites towards Trump has a decidedly classist bent to it. He has bad hair, he is not well-spoken or articulate, and his decorating taste is a bit Saddamish in his love for gilt, or classy with a Kapital K. He will always be the “short-fingered vulgarian” real estate developer and casino owner who is way more Atlantic City than Monte Carlo or Davos. And, he is a huckster who actually sells physical things – water, meat, hotel rooms etc. and not the more subtle, intangible product lines like influence and access, that Bill and Hill are more adroit at pushing in embassy and corporate settings.

While we are currently embroiled in attempting to rid ourselves of the orange haired buffoon that Americans elected in a nihilistic spasm of self-abuse as a short term solution to avoiding HRC and her platoons of neoliberal minions, Democrats would do well to remember that loathing of Trump does not automatically translate into a desire for Clinton. 36% of Americans self-label as Independent because they reject the entire two Party loaf, both parts.

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Comments

Alligator Ed's picture

1. Marbled rye (the real thing) actually tastes good with butter or cream cheese
2. Newton's 3rd Law of Politics is great but what are the first two. I can guess but please help me
3. Percentage of independents is now estimated to be 44%, which of course is higher than the combined favorability ratings of Trump and Medusa.
4. To be able to pass along intelligence requires that you possess some

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Phoebe Loosinhouse's picture

@Alligator Ed
I actually love marbled rye and both components separately as well. Newton's first two laws have to do with Inertia and Motion. I thought the percentage of Independents was higher than the first result on Google, so glad to hear that. The more people who reject the duopoly openly, the quicker we will be able to force some reforms on the two party system. And I agree that for all their accomplishments, both Hillary and Trump seem supremely clueless and/or incompetent although expressed in different ways.

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" “Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough.” FDR "

Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

@Alligator Ed ROTFLMAO

3. Percentage of independents is now estimated to be 44%, which of course is higher than the combined favorability ratings of Trump and Medusa.

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12 users have voted.

Who does all the planning?/Who does all the work?/Who gets no vacation/Not one pay raise, not one perk?/Whose third-rate insurance comes without a dental plan?/Your average, humble squire/Not the meathead in the can.
--Galavant

gulfgal98's picture

@Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal I laughed out loud at that one. Lol

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"I don't want to run the empire, I want to bring it down!" ~Dr. Cornel West "...isn't the problem here that the government takes on, arbitrarily and without justification, an adversarial attitude towards its citizenry?" ~CantStoptheMacedonianSignal

earthling1's picture

when Bill talked Trump into running interference for Hillary that neither one realized how disliked she was. The Presidency was right there for the taking and Trump jumped on it. He never let a opportunity go by in his whole life. His ego did the rest.
At some point during the race, he had to say to himself; Damn, I could actually steal this from her. Hummm, do I wanna be prez?

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Phoebe Loosinhouse's picture

@earthling1

I think he imagined coming in pretty well which would be an accomplishment for a political neophyte who had vanquished the entire top tier of the Republicans in becoming their candidate and who had already established himself as some kind of benign Lex Luthor folk hero to the blue collar voters ostracized by the Democrats.

He was supposed to be in the starting stages of setting up some kind of media empire to parlay his run into a political subsidiary of his already existing celebrity. I can see him seeing himself as the Republican Kingmaker whose ring needed to be kissed for the foreseeable future and that he would have a grand time sniping, undercutting and second guessing from the sidelines. And then he won.

If I were Donald Trump, I would develop a sudden heart murmur so I could step down for health reasons and try to salvage what was left of my life and reputation, such as it was.

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17 users have voted.

" “Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough.” FDR "

@Phoebe Loosinhouse

Lol, considering the way he cheated workers and failed to keep contracts, I should think that his reputation has always been bad. Except for those strange people who worship the rich and infamous, of course.

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1 user has voted.

Psychopathy is not a political position, whether labeled 'conservatism', 'centrism' or 'left'.

A tin labeled 'coffee' may be a can of worms or pathology identified by a lack of empathy/willingness to harm others to achieve personal desires.

@earthling1 @earthling1 @earthling1 But now he bends to the will of the Shadow Government to keep the job to personally enrich himself and his family - just my $.02 cents worth!

Excellent essay Phoebe. This is one is can share with the entire family!

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"The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything." - Albert Einstein

Phoebe Loosinhouse's picture

@WIProgressive

Yes, this essay can do double duty and alienate both political sides in a family without favoring one over the other.

I really enjoy the liberation of writing without wearing a team jersey. It's what I used to expect and take for granted from professional journalists only without the trivialization and apologia of "both sides do it" as a rationalization for why someone shouldn't get worked up over this BS. The fact that both sides do it is exactly you should get worked up over it.

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6 users have voted.

" “Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough.” FDR "

Phoebe Loosinhouse's picture

Republican Pumpernickel on Obstruction of Justice -
Trump meeting with Comey and implying that job retention might be based on whether or not he was able to get past the Mike Flynn imbroglio, in other words, "Drop the investigation and keep your job". (This paragraph is my opinion and interpretation of events as reported in multiple sources, not presented as the literal truth).

Democratic Rye on Obstruction of Justice -
Bill Clinton's private meeting with Loretta Lynch where they "primarily" discussed travel and grandchildren, NOT the elephant in the room of the investigation of HRC's email, followed up a month later with anonymous Dems announcing in a NYT article that "Democrats close to Mrs. Clinton say she may decide to retain Ms. Lynch, the nation’s first black woman to be attorney general, who took office in April 2015." In other words, "Drop the investigation and keep your job."

Once again, we can see the finesse in the Clinton approach, private tarmac with (im)plausible deniability, and the later job offer communicated by anonymous lackeys buried deep within a New York times article. Compare that to the hamfisted DJT episode where he didn't even use an intermediary - amateur!

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16 users have voted.

" “Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough.” FDR "

Comey was the worst person in the world in October, now he's a cause celebre. Drones were bad under Bush, but OK under Obama. The left chafed under Obama's failure to prosecute Wall St, and his appointments of Wall St insiders to critical posts, but his apologists were legion. Would have much preferred Candidate Obama as president instead of the actual Obama. Both parties fear a true populist uprising and are dividing us as deeply as possible to prevent inconvenient alliances, mainly white workers and workers of color. The US seems incapable of moving anywhere but backwards in recent decades.

What will it take to tilt the field the other way again at last? It took armed struggle to end slavery, and it took armed struggle to get unions. It took a very long struggle for women to win the vote. The Civil Rights movement was and is sometimes peaceful, sometimes not, but proloooooooonged and far from over. These are very difficult things to change. As Bernie has always said,it will take a movement. Perhaps it is starting - I hope I see it begin to blossom.

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"Fear is the mind-killer" - Frank Herbert, Dune

Phoebe Loosinhouse's picture

@p gorden lippy
Both parties fear a true populist uprising and are dividing us as deeply as possible to prevent inconvenient alliances, mainly white workers and workers of color.

The Dem PTB went the racial divide route the second they saw Bernie was making big inroads. Honestly, this is what finally led me to see once and for all that Democrats were just as reprehensible as Republicans and that they had finally risen to the level of Equal Evil.

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12 users have voted.

" “Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough.” FDR "

Cant Stop the Macedonian Signal's picture

I have to interject here that IMO, a lot of the shock and horror of Washington and the media elites towards Trump has a decidedly classist bent to it. He has bad hair, he is not well-spoken or articulate, and his decorating taste is a bit Saddamish in his love for gilt, or classy with a Kapital K. He will always be the “short-fingered vulgarian” real estate developer and casino owner who is way more Atlantic City than Monte Carlo or Davos. And, he is a huckster who actually sells physical things – water, meat, hotel rooms etc. and not the more subtle, intangible product lines like influence and access, that Bill and Hill are more adroit at pushing in embassy and corporate settings.

Also, that nouveau riche doesn't understand that there are certain things you are not supposed to say on camera, but only in the confines of your private club, over a brandy, with friends.*

*This rule does not apply to Bushes or Clintons. When Bushes or Clintons are involved, the offense shall be declared null and void and no mention made of it again. Mention made of such non-offenses may put the mentioner on an enemies list.

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13 users have voted.

Who does all the planning?/Who does all the work?/Who gets no vacation/Not one pay raise, not one perk?/Whose third-rate insurance comes without a dental plan?/Your average, humble squire/Not the meathead in the can.
--Galavant

Strife Delivery's picture

I think out of any physical product that Trump offers, the steaks to me are the most hilarious.

Sells steak out of Sharper Image.

Not a butcher.
Not a grocery store or chain.
Not a mega market entity like Walmart/Target.

Nope, Sharper Image.

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CB's picture

@Strife Delivery

https://www.sharperimage.com/si/view/product/Trump+Steaks/888888
Like Mr. Trump himself, “Trump Steaks” were in a league of their own — USDA Prime Certified Angus Beef, flash frozen and shipped in a deluxe “presentation box.” Unfortunately, Trump Steaks are no longer available, but their legacy endures.

If you are looking for Prime US Certified Black Angus Beef steaks, you can order them from Russia. These herds were started barely a decade ago with the help of some underemployed American cowboys who were brought to Russia along with their quarter horses and a herd of Certified Black Angus Beef cattle plus a freezer of embryos and semen. The largest herds now exceed 500,000 - ten times greater than American herds. The huge Russian steppes are ideal for raising beef cattle.

Making Russia great again:

Maybe Trump can do a deal with Putin so he can sell steaks to Americans again?

When you are next in Moscow, visit a Burger King. They have a contract to use Black Angus Beef in their burgers.

PrimeBeef™ is a premium brand
of Black Angus, corn-fed marbled
beef of the highest quality

PrimeBeef branded product begins with US Black Angus genetics born, raised and corn-fed in the ecologically clean and fertile Kaluga and Voronezh regions.

PRIMEBEEF represents not only
beef of the highest quality, but
a way of life for real beef
lovers

When you order PrimeBeef™ products you’re not just getting Prime Beef (grading ranges from Choice to Prime), you’re getting the best meat in the country. As the leading producer of high quality beef in the market, we are given priority over all others. Our farms hand select the best beef available for our customers. Our product is sourced from our own farms and we ensure that all animals are raised without the use of antibiotics, hormones, or growth promoting drugs. Animals are treated humanely, fed a diet of grass and hay for most of their lives and finished on corn.

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Phoebe Loosinhouse's picture

@CB
Thanks for sharing that, CB. I've memorized it so that the next time "prime beef" or "Russian steppes" comes up in conversation I'm ready to go off on my "did you know" riff.

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5 users have voted.

" “Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough.” FDR "

CB's picture

@Phoebe Loosinhouse
are a direct threat to America. The majority of Russians like the American people even though they despise their war mongering government. Why can't most American people differentiate between the two? There are many more similarities between the Russian people and the American people, especially the younger ones, then there are differences.

Enjoy:

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@CB

Wow, doesn't that make Putin an American... (cue angelic choir) ...job provider? No wonder so many corporate politicians hate him, those American cowboys probably get a living wage in Russia.

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2 users have voted.

Psychopathy is not a political position, whether labeled 'conservatism', 'centrism' or 'left'.

A tin labeled 'coffee' may be a can of worms or pathology identified by a lack of empathy/willingness to harm others to achieve personal desires.

@Strife Delivery

What can I say; as a steakholder, he's a rebel - but only moderately so. Although his policies terrorize the nation - and I'd watch him while he's holding a kitchen knife. (Just try not to lose your head.)

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1 user has voted.

Psychopathy is not a political position, whether labeled 'conservatism', 'centrism' or 'left'.

A tin labeled 'coffee' may be a can of worms or pathology identified by a lack of empathy/willingness to harm others to achieve personal desires.

As always, loved your essay!

Any 'pinching off a loaf' jokes down the comments I have yet to read? Have to run out for a bit...

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2 users have voted.

Psychopathy is not a political position, whether labeled 'conservatism', 'centrism' or 'left'.

A tin labeled 'coffee' may be a can of worms or pathology identified by a lack of empathy/willingness to harm others to achieve personal desires.

Phoebe Loosinhouse's picture

to you CB. It sounded a little bit snotty when I reread it, but I am a sincere lover of esoterica.

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2 users have voted.

" “Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough.” FDR "

CB's picture

@Phoebe Loosinhouse

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riverlover's picture

The Pepperidge Farms one is good and lasts forever. Whatever additions that takes. Chemicals!!!!! I use caraway seeds in pasta now.

I actually do not eat much bread now. Much molds too quickly (like Cabinets?). A major dietary change, plant-based, no meat, may alter that. But mold. It was even suggested that I use a plant-based margarine. Still considering that one. But this is a new experiment.

I am so tired of Russia, Russia. Repeat enough and it is taken whole? Many on FB have swallowed the hook.

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Hey! my dear friends or soon-to-be's, JtC could use the donations to keep this site functioning for those of us who can still see the life preserver or flotsam in the water.

Phoebe Loosinhouse's picture

@riverlover
I love caraway seeds. And I like fennel seeds too.

I bake lots of bread, my go-to dough is a garlic rosemary (both very subtle) olive oil combo which can be used for foccacia, pizza or a boule. My new oven has a "proofing" setting which is amazing now that I know how to adjust my times while using it. We go through bread so fast in my house that it has no chance to mold. Plus, I think I once calculated that my bread probably cost $.40 or $.50 cents to make and a loaf similar to what I make costs around $4.00 at the store, so I like the satisfaction of that as well.

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4 users have voted.

" “Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough.” FDR "

@Phoebe Loosinhouse
and if it's called rye at least 51% of the flour should be rye.

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@FuturePassed

Damn, I used to really like rye whisky, although I never liked the taste of rye bread. And yet this is still making me hungry...

Still, since it's a Dem reference, it's probably all full of Russian spies anyway and how could you tell if they'd cleaned their shoe-phones before being folded into the mix?

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1 user has voted.

Psychopathy is not a political position, whether labeled 'conservatism', 'centrism' or 'left'.

A tin labeled 'coffee' may be a can of worms or pathology identified by a lack of empathy/willingness to harm others to achieve personal desires.

lotlizard's picture

@FuturePassed when I’m away from Germany: rye bread in all shapes and sizes.

Germany, the only country whose baking tradition is really serious about rye. (Well, maybe that’s not really true, but that’s what it seems like.)

You can’t spell “Germany” without R, Y, E Smile

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