Openly Eccentric - Open Thread 6/26/2016
So, it's not a big deal to most people, but to me, it's a MAJOR thing. I finally was able to let my kids out on their own without panic.
For those who don't know, I once had my children taken by Child Services. It was in the middle of a period of homelessness, and was very, very ugly. My ex gave up on the kids, and I had to fight tooth and nail to get them back. Even trying, Child Services kept moving the goalposts, and it was only when I showed up with overseas service ribbons that a sympathetic judge told the CPS assholes to go to hell. Of course, getting the kids back doesn't mean you're off CPS' watch list, and they hold EVERYTHING against you. Including beating them.
So I was paranoid. Terrified to let my kids out to play without supervision, never letting them out of my sight, OR with somebody I trusted not to let them out of their sight. It was a rough decade of fear that CPS would swoop in and take the kids. And they Tried when my son would choose to wear dirty clothes, or say something violent as a reaction. (Kid was in foster care and shows all the signs of abuse, yet politicians insist on holding that "Mandated Reporting" crap over teachers heads, even if they KNOW nothing's wrong.) So, paranoia ran supreme.
So, flash forward almost ten years to now. Today, I gave my kids five bucks and told them they could go, on their own, to the restaurant 4 blocks away to get ice cream. They've been good and deserve it. And for the first time, I finally felt like I could relax about it for a moment. They're good kids, they know what they're doing and it's a safe place and walk, which we've done at least fifty times. It feels good. I finally feel like I'm Recovering from the CPS experience and hope to FSM that they are too. It's... nice.
---
So, those folks who are worried about the whole British Exit from the EU, don't worry. The EU is sticking to its standard procedure with democracies. If they don't get the result they want, they hold the vote again. Never mind the turn out was 72%, which is unheard of in our country... Nope, as usual, the Corporate slime will ensure that the vote will be held until it comes out correctly.
And in the free market paradise that is Somalia, yet another mass shooting. No wait, sorry, that's a terrorist attack. We call it different things depending on which sells more munitions.
Climate Change is STILL happening, BTW, regardless of our political affiliations or decisions. It would be nice if any options to do something about that were on the election agenda.
And Finally, the Proxy War between the US and Russia is continuing. We apparently had a cease-fire which I don't recall hearing about, but hey, we have so many wars going on, nobody can keep track anymore.
---
And your Sunday Morning Music is Stuff my kids listen to, but I kinda enjoy. Not usually my thing, but some of it's OK. They have their own lives, and I'm glad to see it...
[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktvTqknDobU][video:https://www.youtube.c...
Comments
Good Daddy, you are winning the struggle...
and that's good for you and the kids, I believe. I like dads who fight for their kids.
Don't be too frustrated, they grow up one way or the other and there is a lot of good luck or unfortunate luck involved one really can't control, I think.
With regards to beating a child. My father, who felt at times, he should give my brother a little whooping, when he was an eight year old boy (that was 1951), always was reminded that it hurt himself more than my brother. He was an wwII survivor with just one arm left. So after one to three strokes his hand hurt, his arm got tired and anyhow it wasn't that much of a deal, luckily.
I remember once I had lost my composure, when my son was just one and a half years old. He had a little temper tantrum, when I tried to clean him up under the shower. I raised my hands as if I wanted to give him a little stroke on his behind but stopped like a couple of inches before I touched him.
My son, not hurt at all, started a loud protesting screaming performance because he understood the intention of my gesture. And I started to cry about myself. Pure exhaustion of some difficult times I went through. But we made it through, both of us, relatively unharmed .
Have a good Sunday.
I used to have to be physical...
Because the military insisted my kids shut up, RIGHT NOW. Did not like it one bit. Very glad to leave that crap behind me.
Once I had CPS off my back, it was amazing how much easier talking to the kids was. (That, and some great therapists and teachers.)
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
It sounds like you've been through
some really tough times. I'm glad you managed to get things straightened out with your family.
I was actually taken from my parents for awhile. I was raised by a lot of different people at different times. I was on an honor farm for awhile, and I stayed with an Aunt. That kind of thing has an effect on people. It certainly had an effect on me.
Whatever you had to go through to keep them, know that it will help them in the future. When a family falls apart, sometimes it never really manages to get back together again.
Thank you.
There's been a lot of pain, and my relationship with my folks may never recover, but at least I have my kids. I do think that counts for a lot.
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
hey dmw
I thought you weren't supposed to let them out of your sight until they're 25. ; )
CPS is infested with a lot of true believers who believe it's their sacred mission to steal children. A while back CPS in this county overreached, and became the #1 county in the state in child-theft. That brought them a lot of attention, which to them was unwelcome, as it exposed them. Now they've been brought under some semblance of control.
I notice one of the songs is called "Radioactive," and the other is by Fall Out Boy. Is this coincidence? Or are they haunted by nuke rain? ; 0
They kids are haunted by a lot of the crap.
Even 10 years later they still talk about the evil people in Foster Care.
I find that CPS workers are NEVER happy, no matter how perfect the situation is, or isn't. It's a bit horrifying to me, and their treatment of single dads is abysmal. (Not an MRA, just pointing out the fact that they would prefer an adoptive single mom to a natural single dad) Course their treatment of everybody is awful. IMHO, it's just an intrusion of the PIC into family life, and a horrible overreach/expansion of influence.
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
Good to see you winning another round.
CPS seems to be often as bad or worse than the ills which they are supposed to counter, I suspect an errant organizational culture.
That, in its essence, is fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt --
I think it's yet another PIC feeder...
If I thought about the number of times they asked for drug tests (Voluntarily of course) home inspections and complaints about noise...
It feels like they're just waiting for you to screw up to call in the "Big Boys" who then have their go at you.
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
Good morning...
It is such a different world for parents and children today under the best of circumstances. Glad to hear you and your kids had a good day.
"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."--Napoleon
Portland has been a blessing.
The change of location has been awesome. I know some folks think "Oh, he's only saying that because he's white..." but Portland has a joy to it that I haven't seen in a long while. Just don't want it to change.
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
Hey dmw and c99ers
I'm thrilled to report a rain last night and this morning. We are in extreme drought according to the NWS. It was just a quarter inch, but it's helped...leaves are perking up and the birds are singing.
I'm glad your kids got to go out on their own. How can they learn if they never have opportunity? All the best to you and them!
[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkaKwXddT_I]
“Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.”
Totally agree, kids need opportunities to make mistakes.
Which is sad because modern law enforcement is called in on the flimsiest of pretexts. So far where I am hasn't been called on me ONCE, and I am very glad to keep it that way if possible.
I do not pretend I know what I do not know.
Love the song Radioactive
I remember reading about you and the kids being homeless because of fucking lice. I remember thinking your mom was horrible for putting those children (and you but especially children!!!) out on the streets for something so trivial. Yes, lice are gross, but come on! I also remember hoping your parents had hell ridding the house of the bugs!
I also remember thinking your ex wife must be a piece of work to just abandon her own kids. I abandoned a friend of 30+ years for doing that, and her youngest was 16 at the time. Her daughter had to quit school and help her dad and two younger brothers pay bills at a house my ex friend had insisted on living in, even though they couldn't afford it in the first place. It was all about her, and not about her family. Well, fuck her!
Yes, I'm being judgemental. I'm so very glad that you and the kids are in such a better place now. You guys really deserve it! And just wait until they start driving.