Twenty Years of Depression

Submitted by The Aspie Corner on Fri, 02/16/2018 - 10:51pm

Yup. Twenty years....well, close enough. It began somewhere between my dad's death and my 14th birthday. Since that time I've found it very difficult to see the good in things. It's easy to feel that way when society just keeps punching you down at every turn.

To be honest I didn't really feel better until I came in contact with some Nichiren Buddhists through a co-worker at a NASA internship after my junior year of high school. Sadly that didn't last long as I'd lost touch with them not long after graduating high school. Not even 2 college degrees could get me a fair shake.

I actually didn't get on any kind of medication until about 6 years ago with my ASD diagnosis. I've tried quite a few and most just feel like sugar pills after a month or 2. The worst part is going cold turkey when the doctors can't fill them. The ringing in my head always intensifies along with the dizziness I sometimes feel.

So, here I am, cold turkey off my meds for nearly 2 months now. And all because the local health department couldn't get a psychiatrist for over a year and the script system was changed causing the assistance I had to expire and all I seem to be doing as of late is driving everyone mad.

If I've pissed folks off here I'm sorry. I suppose I could use a break from the internet of things, but like horrible car crashes, you just can't look away.

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depression

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Submitted by snoopydawg on Sat, 02/17/2018 - 1:36am

I'm sorry for what you're dealing with

Depression is an insidious disease and it's sometimes hard to find the right medications that work. Deaths can open up a world that you thought you had dealt with.

I know that you aren't able to find employment and on top of your ASD diagnosis plus everything that's happening lately, I'm sure things are difficult for you. Maybe taking a break would be good for you, but please don't leave if you think that you have upset someone here. I haven't read anything that you wrote that was upsetting and even if you had, that's okay. This is a site where we can have disagreements and remain friends. Dawg knows that I've probably said something that others didn't like.

Sorry that you are dealing with withdrawals after stopping cold turkey. I did this once and I'm lucky to still be here. Wow, talk about a horrible experience. Not only the physical withdrawals, but what it did mentally. Ugh!

Hope things get better soon and if you take a break, we'll be here when you come back.

Speaking of 20 year anniversaries, 20 years ago I got injured at work and my life changed big time. Ugh again!

—

Which AIPAC/MIC/pharma/bank bought politician are you going to vote for? Don’t be surprised when nothing changes.

Submitted by The Aspie Corner on Sat, 02/17/2018 - 10:01am

It was a multitude of things, I suppose.

@snoopydawg

Depression is an insidious disease and it's sometimes hard to find the right medications that work. Deaths can open up a world that you thought you had dealt with.

I suspect losing my dad to Hep C, Cirrhosis and the flat out culmination of years of alcoholism just before my 12th birthday was just the icing on the cake. Dealing with bullies with no real way to cope or stand up for oneself probably played a big part as well.

That and something as petty as older kids breaking the playstation (Accidental. It was resolved a few weeks later.) that I'd just gotten for christmas right before my 14th birthday. Yes, it's petty, I know. Still, I'd like to think I've grown up a hell of a lot since those days.

—

Modern education is little more than toeing the line for the capitalist pigs.

Guerrilla Liberalism won't liberate the US or the world from the iron fist of capital.

Submitted by Anja Geitz on Sat, 02/17/2018 - 2:37am